Text 3. Psychological Problems of Sex Relations

We need to transcend our differences and creating loving relationships. When men and women display emotions inconsistent with the gender stereotypes we hold, we're apt to think that those feelings are more genuine and legitimate. Men are expected to show anger and stubbornness, women to express happiness, sadness, and fear. So a crying woman is just more of the same, but a sorrowful man is such a rarity that we believe he must be on the brink of disaster. Likewise, an angry man is common, but a livid woman is so rare we think that she must really be furious. A woman's feelings still don't carry the same weight as a man's. Women typically are seen as "emotional" and their reactions viewed as overblown. We tend to discount a large reaction in women, while men are more likely to be admired for showing their true emotions. A man who panics in stressful conditions is seen as honest or vulnerable, for example, while a frightened woman might be regarded as overreacting. The way we view men's and women's emotional expressions may have an impact on our romantic relationships. Emotions may be given more weight according to who expresses them, not how sincere they are. Men and women are known not to be always pleased with one another. Women's сomplaints about men : 1. They are not understanding enough. 2. They are not sensitive to feelings and needs. 3. They are not affectionate enough. 4. They do not communicate enough. They do not express their feelings and thoughts. 5. They do not pay enough attention to their partners. 6. They do not spend enough time at home with their children. 7. They do not help with order and cleanliness of the home. 8. They do not appreciate the work involved in keeping up the home or in bearing and bringing up children and do not compensate this contribution to family life. 9. They make decisions about work and life without regarding the woman's or the family's needs. 10. They create extramarital relationships.

Men's complaints about women:

1. Women complain, criticize and nag too much.

2. They try to control and suppress men.

3. They are seldom happy.

4. They tend to withhold sex as a punishment or blackmail.

5. They do not think logically, but emotionally.

6. Their emotions are not predictable but change quickly especially due to hormones, during pregnancy or menopause.

7. They tend to gossip.

8. They, too, create extramarital relationships.

9. They are not home enough (which for some men means - continuously)

10. They are not taking enough care of the home.

Women can learn to:

1. Express their needs directly without complaining or nagging.

2. Trust their partner and allow him to function freely.

3. Focus on how grateful they are to have what they have.

4. Analyze situations from an even more logical point of view, especially when they suspect hormones are affecting them. (Or avoid reacting at those times.)

5. Avoid gossiping.

6. Be monogamous.

7. Find a balance between taking care of the home and asking the others for help.

8. Feel equal ─ neither superior nor inferior to men.

9. Understand that men have difficulty with communicating feelings and not take this personally.

10. Realize that their partner loves them even when he cannot be affectionate or tender.

11. Guide the man with their preferences in their sexual contact.

12. Radiate feelings of equality and self-confidence without competitiveness.

Men can learn to:

1. Be more understanding and sensitive of her needs.

2. Be more affectionate, tender and loving.

3. To communicate more openly their thoughts, feelings and needs.

4. Spend more quality time with their children.

5. Help out with the cleanliness and order of the home.

6. Appreciate, and where necessary, financially reward their partners for work done in the home.

7. Include all the family in decision making.

8. Understand that her criticism is often a function of the fact that her needs are not being fulfilled.

9. Overcome the fear of being controlled and be true to themselves in each situation.

10. Understand that women perceive situations differently.