Glossary (and translation) of Anglo-American weather terms american

spring – three months between mid-March and mid-June when you put your winter coat away.

summer – when you turn on the air-conditioning.

drought – crops die. Animals in danger. Water-reserves low. Dust-bowl time.

hot – high 70s Fahrenheit, upwards.

unbearable – scorcher. 100 degrees F.

blizzard – snow drifts to several feet, traffic stops, snow-plows come out New Yorkers wear apre-ski boots in streets.

you won’t need your sweater – it’s T-shirt weather. Expect 80s–90s F, no rain, no wind.

you won’t need your umbrella – forecast predicts no rain. Hasn’t been any for a week. Anyway, we’ll be in the car.

British

spring – a time when you switch off all forms of central heating, but it remains as cold as January.

summer – the rain gets warmer.

drought – two consecutive days without downpour.

hot – a glimmer of light appears between cloud masses. The entire British nation strips to the waist. Term also describes the interior temperature of any room which has all the windows closed.

unbearable – low 70s F, or more than ten minutes in the room with the windows closed.

blizzard – slush on pavements. Traffic comes to standstill. Points failure on Southern Region.

you won’t need your sweater – no one has died of exposure overnight. (Yanks hearing this advice from a Brit should ignore it. It does not apply to them, and may be harmful to health.)

you won’t need your umbrella – speaker is either:

1. impersonating a Brit (True Brits never move without their brollies), or

2. no longer in Britain.

Appendix III The ones that don’t translate

A collection of words and phrases totally misunderstood by the other side.

1. It ain’t half hot (Brit. 1) = It anything isn’t half anything, it means very something;

i.e., if you’ re not half beautiful, you’re gorgeous. Not surprisingly, a lot of Yanks don’t understand this.

2. fancy (Brit. 1) = want, desire. The way British women feel about, say, Harrison Ford.

(Yank 1) = the opposite of plain. Frilly, decorated, with lots of things attached to it.

(could also apply to Harrison Ford).

3. keen (Brit 1) = totally sold on. Anxious to have. The way British men are supposed to feel about cricket

(Yank 1) = sharp. A keen wit, for example.

(Yank 2) = preceded by ‘neatsy’, means ‘really fab’.

Arcane usage found only in Archie Annual comic books, or primitive reaches of the San Fernando Valley.

4. roundabout(Brit. 1) = merrygoround: i.e., magic roundabout (Brit 2) = a circle of traffic where all normal rules of motoring are suspended. It is speculated that Brits have created them in preference to ordinary intersections so that:

(a) they can let off steam by dicing with death;

(b) they can go around in circles, making a small country seem larger.

5. naff (Brit 1) = in poor taste. A combination of vulgar, cliched and tacky. MUSAK in restaurants is naff. Wearing designer-labels that show is naff. Liking Mantovani is naff, buying Cabbage Patch dolls is naff, men in open-necked shirts revealing chunky gold jewellery is naff, making your own yoghurt is naff, sporting a T-shirt that reads RELAX is now naff. Things get naff fairly quickly, and as soon as they become clichés. Naff has no precise American equivalent, but should be used much more, since Yanks are hyperconscious of naffness in all its forms. These days, it is pretty naff not to know the meaning of naff.

6. turkey (Brit 1) = a feathered game bird too large to fit into the average British oven. Served and eaten at Christmas ad nauseam but at no other time.

(Yank 1) a jerk. A dodo, a real loser. Fair description of most of the guys you date at college.

(Yank 2) Business-speak. The real thing; money. Usually precede words, ‘let’s talk’.

7. out to lunch (Brit 1) = where all people in business and service industries are between 11 a.m. (half-an-hour after they arrive at work) and 3.30 p.m. (an-hour before they break for tea).

(Yank 1) = Loony. Flakey, empty-headed, brainless. Possibly drug-crazed at any rate, not there when you knock.

8. making it (Brit 1) = a form of DIY

feminine = learning to crochet.

masculine = carpentry made easy.

(Yank 1) = measurement of success. Financially speaking, income tops $100,000 a year.