Double raspberry ripple to go

AMERI-THINK:Americans, for all their affluence and the distractions it can bring, know what really counts. ICE CREAM. It’s mocha-chip (and peppermint crunch) that binds the nation together. Fail to appreciate this, and you’ve missed out on the quintessence of Americulture. Ice cream is the Great Leveller ... the Yank version of pubs. It is the fixed point in an otherwise mobile society, guaranteed to give pleasure to all. Americans will drive 100 miles for the ultimate cone. Don’t ask why. Debates about the MX missile are taken no more seriously than where you can find the best coffee flavour in Los Angeles. It’s the American way of saying that, at bottom, stripped bare of affectation, they know what life is about – and you can always appeal to them successfully on that level. Understand this, and you’ve gone a long way to zeroing in on Ameri-think. So, pack your ‘I♥NY’ T-shirt and your LA address book, and prepare for fun. Don’t worry about a thing. If you can’t get to grips with the Great American Dream, you can fall back on the Great American Cream. Mint chip is nice.

Exercise. Sum up the main points of the text using the words and phrases below:

to make it through the morning / to grab a ‘quick one’ / a nip down to the local for ‘last orders’ at 11.00. / get to grips / blow the cash / zero in on.

Appendix I The Special Relationship

Things Yanks will never understand about Brits, and vice versa

Yanks (on brits)

1. Aren’t they cold?

2. What’s a stone, and how many make a person? Can you wear one in a ring?

3. Who invented the toast-rack? Is there a national preference for hard, cold toast?

4. Have they thought of selling electrical appliances complete with plugs?

5. Why do they make their summer travel arrangements in January? How do they know they’ll live ‘til July?

6. What’s a diary? Did Anne Frank have one? Why do women like them full, and businessmen like them empty?

7. Do they throw you out of the country if you don’t have net curtains?

8. Why do they write to say they’ll phone, then ‘phone, then write to confirm the call?

9. What’s the point of ‘queuing up’ at railway stations in order to get on trains?

10. Why is it called a ‘Bank Holiday’ when the whole nation wants to travel, and so British Rail closes down?

11. What’s the great attraction of baked beans without the hot dogs?

12. Don’t they feel the lumps in the mattresses?

Brits (on yanks)

1. Why are all American women ‘interior decorators’ – except the ones who are real estate brokers?

2. Why do they buy six of everything they like?

3. Why do they see at least three doctors every time they get sick?

4. What is the recreative value of returning merchandise to shops?

5. Can’t they think of better ways to spend an evening than driving 30 miles for ice cream?

6. What’s the point of calling taxi drivers ‘sir’?

7. Why do they plan everything at the last minute, then want it now?

8. What’s the secret of the national obsession with Fib-fax?

9. Will anything persuade them to answer letters and return calls?

10. Why do they think bread tastes better if you put a hole in the middle, and call it a bagel?

11. How come staff in American restaurants only tell you to ‘have a nice day’ when it’s time to leave a tip?

12. Why do even little old ladies chew gum?