84. Aim for respect rather than being liked

"It is a given that all students will not be attract­ed to all teachers. It is also a given that respect, rather than being liked, is the hallmark of great teachers. But chances of achieving both are far greater through encouragement and empower­ment than by saying, 'Call me by my first name'. Dr Marvin Marshall, Promoting Learning

God, don't you just hate the manager who tries to be your churn, one of the lads/girls, your mate, your pal. We've all worked with them and they are a mess. They embarrass themselves as much as their team. Aim for aloof. Aim for respect rather than being liked. Look, you want your staff to give you all they've got, not hugs and drinks down the pub. You want them to think you're a god, not David Brent.

You have to create mystique, an air of power, authority friend liness, without the desperate need to be liked. You have to remain detached.

Some day you may have to sack some of these people, and you don't need to make it tougher on yourself than you have to.

Some day you will have to promote some of these people, and you don't want to be seen to be having favourites.

They've got to be able to look up to you, respect you, have you as a role model. They can't do that if you've been seen rolling around on the floor of the pub drunk as a skunk on a Friday evening, now can they? You can't create mystique if you try to be too chummy with them. Maintain a distance and they won't see it as stand-offishness but will respect the space you give them.

Maintain a physical aloofness as well: no back slapping, hugging, kissing, hair ruffling (hey, I had a manager who used to do this to me; I hated it and him - I was very young but that shouldn't have made any difference), arm wrestling (you could lose and you'd lose all respect then, believe me), office football, or any form of rough and tumble. Maintain your dignity at all times - and your style, credibility sanity and authority.

85. Do one or two things well and avoid the rest

"The first 90 per cent of a project takes 90 per cent of the time. The last 10 per cent takes the other 90 per cent of the time." Anonymous

The really good manager is a specialist. You can't do everything. You can't do everyone's job- You can't do more than a few things each day anyway. Best to pick your specialist subject, be really really good at it and leave the rest to other people. In my company we have a very clear demarcation of who does what. I try to do as little as possible. 1 figure the better a manager, the less you do; it's all down to your powers of delegation.

So I stick to what I do best, which is basically talking to other managers. 1 don't do sales but I do open doors for sales staff to walk through. I don't do key accounts but I do set up contacts for our key contact people to follow through. I don't do accounts but 1 do oversee the accounting staff. My 'one or two things' is setting up meetings for my team to the do the business, and overseeing the overall style of the company - its branding, its corporate identity, its place in the market. I manage the company but I don't do products. I know my limitations. I know what 1 am good at and what I am bad at. I'm lousy on detail, routine, order, regular everyday stuff. I am good on sudden, unorthodox, interesting, one-off, people-orientated projects. 1 don't see what I am good at as being better, nor do I see the things I am bad at as being inferior. Quite the opposite in fact. I envy the ordered, those who can pay attention to detail, those who like to see a project through from beginning to end, those with empty in-trays and tidy desks.

What are you good at? And bad? How would you best describe the one or two things you could do well?