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76. Show you understand the viewpoint of underlings and overlings

"Courtesy towards opponents and eagerness to understand their viewpoint is the ABC of non violence."

Mahatma Gandhi

Being an underling - as we all know because we've all done it, been there - is tough. You get to take a lot of orders from a lot of people delivered in a way that puts your back up and makes you

angry.

But hey, being a manager is often no better. Now you are caught in the middle. You get all that flack from the staff, plus all the crazy directives from the chief executive. You are no longer an underling and not quite an overling. You are the middle of the sandwich. You're going to get it from both directions, upwards and downwards.

One of the best ways to take the pressure off is to let them all know you understand their viewpoint. Don't just smile and say 'Yeah, I know where you're coming from', when it is plainly obvious you don't. You really have to make sure they know you do understand their needs and wants, grievances and demands, fears and hopes. Up and down the chain.

When push comes to shove you are going to have to side with the overlings sometimes. When you think they are right of course. Your underlings - non-PC for team - will obviously resent this, particularly as they will not welcome any change (especially ones they don't understand). This is a good time to let them tell you how they feel and tell them that you do understand this, and explain why the overlings have decided to do what they have.

If you're really good, one day you'll learn to explain how the underlings perceive things to the overlings, in terms they will understand - and vice versa. If you can get the underlings to see why the overlings believe that something not in their best interests makes sense, then you're on the road to becoming a managerial genius.

77. Don't back down - be prepared to stand your ground

"Whoever the villain in your life is, don't be afraid to confront them." www.effective meetings.com

There will be times when you are certain and know you're right. In these times sometimes you have to make a stand. You have to be prepared to put up or shut up. You have to be prepared to fight for what you believe in. If you are passionate about what you do, then standing up for what you know is right isn't that hard.

You don't have to be aggressive, just resolute. If you are being bullied, say so loud and clear - chances are the person harassing you will back off, quick.

You don't have to be rude, just assertive. If someone is spreading rumours about you or your team or your performance that aren't true, then collar them. Stare your position clearly, 'I hear you are spreading such and such a rumour. This is not true and I would appreciate it if you would stop.'

You don't have to be angry, just be very certain of yourself and very well prepared. If someone always finds fault with what you suggest, such as 'Oh, that won't work, we tried it before and it failed', then stand your ground and don't back down. Say, 'Yes, and here are the figures to show why it didn't work. And here is my report to explain why it will work this time and how it is different.'

You don't have to get fired, just fired up. If you work for a boss who fails to give you suitable feedback, keep plugging away. Ask: 'How can I improve my performance for next time? What steps should I take to get that pay rise I want that you've just said no to? Where do you see me in a years time? What can we do to improve sales?' Keep pushing the ball back into their court until they are forced to give you suitable answers.

You don't have to be argumentative, just conciliatory If you have a boss suggesting you cut legal corners, don't point-blank refuse and cause an argument. Instead say, 'Ah. How would we handle this if the media/auditors got hold of it?' You aren't refusing but you are standing your ground and not going along with their ideas - and you are also offering them a way out. They won't have to make a point and impose their will on you, but they can now diplomatically back down without losing face.

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