The Power of No

Today’s parents – who were raised on Greatest Generation¹ values of harsh (1) … and self-denial – (2) … to a culture where “no” was a household word. Eloise Goldman, a publicist, says that as a teenager, she had to beg for a phone in her room. In a world of (3) … where families spend (4) … at the mall instead of in the backyard, her request seems almost quaint. Today’s (5) … want much more, partly because there’s a whole (6) … to want.

Goldman (7) … to hold the line. She was (8) … about spending $250 on a mini iPod² for her 9-year-old son Ben. The price tag was a (9) … for her and her fund-raiser husband, Jon. Initially, she was (10) … of buying such an extravagant gadget for a kid still unaware of long division. If she (11) … , how would Ben ever learn that you can’t always (12) … ? Goldman bore a hope the iPod would soon be abandoned, just like Ben’s (13) …-of-choice from last year, a blue drum set that now sits forlornly in the basement of their suburban New York home. But Ben nagged and (14) … that “everyone has one”. Goldman was nearly (15) … acceptance. She wanted Ben to have what the other kids had; he is a (16) … kid, she reasoned. After (17) … with a neighborhood-mom community and finding that Ben’s (18) … were indeed wired for sound, she caved – but attempted to salvage some lesson about (19) … . She offered her son a deal. We give you an iPod, you (20) … your birthday party. “Done,” he said. Then, without missing a beat: “Now what about getting me my own Apple G4?”

The Newsweek

Ex. 4. Read the following text and decide which option (A, B or C) fits each gap.

It’s an (1) … legacy of the affluent ‘90s: parents who can’t say no. This generation of parents has always been (2) … to giving their kids every advantage, from Mommy & Me swim classes all the way to that thick envelope from an elite college. But (3) … their good intentions, too many find themselves (4) … “wanting machines” who respond like Pavlovian dogs to the marketing (5) … that’s aimed right at them. Even getting the (6) … of it doesn’t satisfy some kids – they only want more. Now, a (7) … of psychologists, educators and parents think it’s time to (8) … away with the madness and start teaching kids about what’s really important through (9) … values like hard work, delayed gratification, honesty and parental regard. In a few (10) … , parents have begun to reassert control by (11) … together to enforce limits and rules so that no one has to take the blame for denying her 6-year-old a $300 Nokia cell phone with all the latest bells and whistles.

While it goes (12) … saying that affluent parents can raise happy and (13) … children, the struggle to put strains (14) … has never been tougher. Saying is harder when you can afford to say yes. But the (15) … have also never been higher. Recent studies of adults who were (16) … as children paint a grim picture of their future. Kids who’ve been given too much too soon (17) … into adults who have difficulty fitting (18) … life. Psychologists say parents who are (19) … with their kids may actually be setting them up to be more (20) … to future anxiety and trauma. “The hazard of (21) … permissiveness is self-absorption, and that’s a mental-health risk,” says William Damon, director of the Stanford University Center on (22) … . “You sit around feeling anxious all the time instead of (23) … in on what you can do to make a difference in the world.”

A B C

1. alarming gratifying irretrievable

2. furthered intent driven

3. in spite despite due

4. rearing upbringing breeding

5. novices news fads

6. turn wind spin

7. shoal flock herd

8. do make deal

9. renouncing recovering reviving

10. communions commitments communities

11. banding ganging hanging out

12. without out of beneath

13. self-possessed self-obsessed self-indulging

14. threads strains reins

15. points risks stakes

16. babied kidded toddled

17. degenerate descend debilitate

18. with into for

19. harsh lax hardy

20. fearful prone intent

21. exclusive excretive excessive

22. adolescence juvenilia adulthood

23. zapping zooming zeroing

Ex. 5. Fill in the correct prepositions where necessary.

A. 1. Newspapers play (1) … stories of youth gangs and adolescent rebellion (2) … authority while the public gets fanatical (3) … their desire (4) … a “tighter rein”.

2. A lot of parents now seem to be (5) … war (6) … their own offspring. There was a case of a father who turned (7) … his “uncontrollable” son, shot him, was tried (8) … the crime and set free.

3. It is (9) … (10) … the question that there are good and affectionate people (11) … the parents of the “bad” children, and that no parent should be held fully responsible (12) … what his child does.

4. Children need limits (13) … their behavior because they feel more secure when they are persuaded (14) … a certain structure. Learning how to overcome challenges is essential (15) … making (16) … a success (17) … life.

5. Getting (18) … contact with your children starts (19) … parents leading a life in which high priority is given (20) … higher values, so you have credibility and are stripped (21) … all pretence when you try to measure (22) … (23) … that standard and teach it.

B. This generation of parents is uniquely ill-equipped to react (1) … the relentless pressure of marketing aimed (2) … kids. Baby boomers, raised (3) … the contentious 1960s and 1970s (the era of the “generation gap”), swore that they strive (4) … a much closer relationship with their own children. (5) … the end, many even wear the same Gap clothes as their kids and listen (6) … the same music. “So whenever their children rebel (7) … them, it makes this generation take (8) … the blame, never attempting (9) … bringing their violence (10) … control. “They feel a lot guiltier than previous generations”, says Laurence Steinberg, a psychologist (11) … Temple University and the author of “The 10 Basic Principles (12) … Good Parenting”. Today’s parents are well (13) … paid work, too; (14) … the end of a long workweek, it’s tempting to buy peace (15) … “yes”, rather than mar precious quality time and resort (16) … a conflict. But they can’t tell the dividing-line (17) … permissiveness and love. Authors (18) … child care agree: too much love won’t spoil a child, but too few limits will.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, more than 40,000 commercials a year intrude (19) … the average American home (20) … television. (21) … the end, they take complete control,” says Susan Linn, a Harvard psychologist. “The marketers benefit visibly (22) … this “cradle-(23) … -grave” brand loyalty. They want to get kids (24) … their mode (25) … thinking (26) … the moment they’re born.”

Ex. 6. Give the English equivalents of the following words and phrases.

A. Полное безразличие; пособие по воспитанию детей; “крепкие орешки”; помалкивать, держать язык за зубами (3); милые малютки.

В. Испытывать материнские чувства по отношению к кому-либо; знать всю подноготную кого-либо; одаривать безвозмездной любовью; приобщить кого-либо к своему образу мышления; быть туговатым на ухо; с прохладцей относиться к чему-либо; быть лишенным всякого притворства.

С. Снижение уровня успеваемости среди школьников; трудные подростки; первопричина; нянчить; непокорное чадо (3); периодически прибегать к чему-либо; не уделять должного внимания чему-либо, не ставить на первое место; ликвидировать разрыв, устранить пробел; уступить, сдаться в каком-либо вопросе; преходящее, кратковременное увлечение; наставлять, выговаривать.

D. Устроиться в жизни; постоянно подавленный, удрученный; воинствующий; любить кого-либо в глубине души; насилие на экране (2); принуждать к послушанию; убеждение через запугивание; буянить, хулиганить, скандалить, дебоширить.