Man to Man

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Yogi Bhajan: If you act like a Christ, you will be nailed down like a Christ. If you can stand that pain, go ahead. It is very painful; but what he did, he did.

Sfi«fe#if; That is why I am asking.

Yogi Bhajan: Once a rabbi asked me a question. He asked, "Do you believe in Jesus Christ?"

I said, "He was beautiful." He said, "Do you know that he was nailed to the cross?" I said, "Yes." He said, "You are a yogi. Answer a question for me." I said, "What is it?" He said, "Did he pee or didn't he?" (Only a rabbi can ask this question.) I said, "Rabbi, answer my question." He said, "What?" I said, "Were you there?" He said, "No." I said, "Then he didn't pee because you were the only one he wanted to pee at" I mean, you have to be absolutely witty to deal with a situation like that. What I want to express is that this "giving of the other cheek" is a very new phenomenon.

Actually, you do not understand kindness. I am very kind to my students; I bug them to death. Yes! It's a kindness. Kindness does not mean giving in. Kindness is standing up righteously at any and every cost; standing up out of love, out of grace, out of concern, out of everything. It is kind when you are concerned and you stick to your concern and you act righteously on it

People think that kindness is giving in, lying down, being a doormat. That's not kind. Kindness is giving a hand to a drowning man and pulling him out. That is a kindness. It doesn't mean that once you give a hand, you drown it again and again and again. That's not kindness. Kindness is making people great and strong, and living and doing every­ thing within your meditative mind to accomplish that. Don't misunderstand the word kindness.

Q: When you told us about our fundamental divine rights, you said that the first one was the right to life and the second, the right to live? What is the difference?

Yogi Bhajan: The right to life is a granted act. The right to life is granted by God. The right to live is your choice. You can terminate your life any time you want to; but you can't get it back, because the right to life is through the Divine. The right to life is from the Divine, the right to live is from you.

3The third stage on the path to wisdom, usually associated with a personal cri­ sis or challenge. Most either leave the path or move on to surrender more fully during this stage of development in their spiritual practice.

Creative relevance is the subject. What's more, creative relevance is the subject, the object and the base of every personal gain and loss.

You cannot deal with a person as a person. There is no such thing as "I am a human being. You are a human being." That does not exist. I am an ego and you are an ego. My ego lets in those thoughts that it feels will benefit it. That information has to be relative to my personality, because my personality is shielded by my ego. Therefore, I have to be sold something which reflects me, which to me is me. I only buy myself. I buy no thought, I buy no God, I buy no spirit/1 buy no goodies, I buy no tricks, f buy no business, I buyno plans.,1 am not willing to educate myself, I am not willing to have intercourse with a woman, any woman,jn d I don't need any children, either. Basically, fundamentally, and principally, all I need is myself. That is God's will; and so it is absolutely in the Divine order. Are you with me? It is absolutely in Divine order that I must buy myself. Therefore, all communications, all dealings, all relationships are based on creative relevance.

Creative relevance is an attitude in which both parties benefit. I create something. I come to you and say, wLook, this will help me and it will help you;" You have heard the song? "Ill help you and you'll help me and well help each other along." Creative relevance is the part ofintelligence in which you benefit others and yourself. Creative relevance can also be called intelligence banking, because you-’use your creative relevance td-benefit others and yourself and, not only that, you earn interest! With creative relevance you use Other People's Intelligence and Other People's Money. This is my OP1-OPM theory.

No person can live happily if he has to live by his own force. You-cSn always live happily if you have other people's money, other people's intelligence; but you must add 100% of your own creative intelligence as well. That is the trinity. That trinity can make you a great human being and that isv where your strength lies.

"Creative relevance is what is relevant to me. What is relevant to me and how creative that can be." Quote, unquote. Some things are irrelevant to me, and I am not concerned about them. I can't buy them. I can't be them. But there is one thing that is relevant to everybody and that is spiritual flow. If spiritual flow is creatively relevant to the creative relevance of the being and it is continuous, undisturbed, and realistic, you will feel great. In modern language, it means this check is as good as gold, that a

man is as good as his soul, that his word is as good as God, that his action is as clean as the sky, and his personality is as good as the Earth.

If you build your personality too big, nobody will look at you. People will simply walk through your legs and away. You want to hook people—that is why you gather a bunch of friends around you. Man is a social animal, remember that. No ego is bigger than the self and the self cannot be big without people, so you need a lot of friends, a lot of good people around you. Do you know why you want a spiritual teacher? A spiritual teacher is nothing but a destiny computer. No more, no less. You can say to him, ■"I am feeling this way" and he will say, "that way . . .

And that is how it goes. So your real strength is in your creative relevance—not your creative intelligence. You can have creative intelligence and not have creative relevance. Then you are on a dead end street. My creative intelli­ gence must benefit you, then it becomes relevant—that is creative relevance.

In the spiritual ream of consciousness you must always be healthy, happy and holy. I picked that slogan; I said, "All right, give them adiscipline that will be true, that will work." Whether or not you like the discipline is not my problem. My problem is that whosoever shall follow if shall succeed! Despite a gap here, a gap there; a fault here, a fault there; a goof here, a goof there; a little cheating here and there; coming to sadhana and not doing sadhana; saying, wI love you, but..." ■

Have you heard that? "Move you, but.," It is ridiculous. Conditional love is spiritual prostitution. It is ugly. It is ugly, it is in vain, and it is a waste of time. Another ridiculous statement is, "I'll be happy if..." Creative intelligence answers-.-every question from the. perspective"’of past, present and future. Creative relevance keeps that in view; keeps it all in perspective. You have every question and every answer before you and still you want to go out and help somebody. It may be a question of taking somebody's clothes, laundering them, starching them, pressing them, and returning them. The person who wears those clothes feels like a king. He looks like a king. He will be grateful to you. You need to understand that your love for anybody is all your own service, your own strength, your own power, your own everything.

You don't love in order to enjoy, so why do you love? There is only one reason you love. Otherwise, in every other way, love has a pain. Love brings more pain than any other

Man To Man

Man To M a n

Man To Man

These are two old drawings; One is a male, one is a female.

This is according to the old symbols. I am trying to show you the strength of the male in relationship to its female polarity, According to the old teachings, the female is ruled by the moon. Today she is ruled by a jackhammer; youVe got to have ajackhammer to rule her. And even'with that, it can be very difficult. In the good old days when everything was based on knowledge, she was ruled by the moon— waxing, waning, whining, changing. The moon brings creativity, productivity, conception and growth. You know all about the moon as Americans; you have been there.

Man is ruled by the sun. The characteristics of the sun are constancy, consistency and creativity. Ultimately, the sun burns everything to nothing, becoming nothing but ash. Therefore, the woman who is not rash and the man who is not ash do not exist.

Ash and rash: what do these very important words mean? Woman has the power to stimulate. Basically/woman has the power to stimulate everything into conception. She conceives. All you have to do is put forth a thought and she will conceptualize it, build it like a baby. She will deliver it, nurse it, make a male out of it and present it before you. That is what her rashness is. She will do that quickly and then she will confront you. In other words, the ecstasy of every woman is to put your ego right before you. It doesn't matter if she is 19 years old or 90, that faculty of hers never changes. And what does ash mean? Take a little dust, put it in her eyes, and tell her, "I love you," and that's it. That is the first note that I read from that scripture.

Her job is to confront you with your ego. She will never put herself in front unless she's insane. But when she is wrong, she will never stop talking. You must have experienced that phenomenon: "Tat, tat, tat," it's a duck quacking. She'll say, "What do you want to do with me now? Who are you? What's going on? What did I say? Do you remember what I said? Really? Did I mean what you say? What I mean is, what you say, do you mean what I say to you? You are very mean, you remember everything. I don't mean a thing," All these words should sound familiar? And here is the male, just trying to protect himself.

Creative consciousness is parallel and equal in relationship to the woman, but relative in the terminology of >understanding. That is what we are discussing here. You may understand differently, and she may understand differently, and within the surroundings and environment there may be yet a third understanding of the whole thing. That is why there is a pain. To the extent that we do not

understand at all, we create pain.

Try to understand that the security of the woman is the securityof the woman—in the understanding of the woman, within the environment of the woman, into the desire of the woman; into the thoughts and the ideas of the woman, into the projection of thoughts and ideas of the woman—and yet the woman is still an innocent little woman who's trying to seek, to grow, to perceive, and to preserve her identity. The only idealistic approach a male can have toward that defense mechanism of hers is to defend it. "I love you" will never work in this situation. Your love theory as a male will not work. You must understand; No woman loves a man who loves a woman! She loves the wise man in every man. She doesn't love the male. She can masturbate. She doesn't need you, she needs security; and the deeper her security, the more relevant her love. That depth of security is founded in your wisdom—not in you.

I have seen a woman carry a crippled man on her shoulders—toting him, nursing him, totally taking care of him perfectly. She was an American woman, not an Oriental. I analyzed her personality and her character and I found that she totally believed that he was a pure gem, a crystal clear diamond. She didn't care a bit about that little handicap. She had to carry him from his chair, sometimes on her shoulders, on foot. She told me, "I have developed strong muscles."

You think that she loves your body, your fame, and your domain. To you these are the basics. In reality, these are

temporary aspects which she loves. She's, searching for deep understanding, deep understandingandthe realization that she has found somebody who, according to her, is wise enough that she can trust him. Please remember, woman is multi-faceted. If she has positive creativity, one negative word from you will be like potassium cyanide. Reversely, if her creativity is negative, your positive area will scare her to death, Don't misunderstand and think that if you are very divine, it'll work out; or that if you are very evil, it will work out. Woman likes neither divinity nor evilness. The only thing she likes is having faith in the wisdom of the male.

In most of our communication, and in our relationships, our creative habits are very nonsensical. We create an atmosphere in which there will be a tremendous reaction to whatever we project—that is the fundamental way in which we misuse our strength. Real strength lies in handling situations with extreme wisdom. Wisdom is not money, it is not Persian carpets, it is not gold. Wisdom is something very unique, which very few people can define. Wisdom is bringing the total understanding of truth to the opposite polarity as a reality. The wise person brings to the opposite, whether male or female, a level of understood reality, a state of understanding.

If you speak the truth and someone doesn't understand, it's not wisdom. You must predict, depict, project, and fix it. Wisdom does not mean that you know a few words. Wisdom does not mean that you have a«few degrees. Wisdom does not mean that you have money, nor does wisdom mean that you are a beautiful man or a beautiful woman. Wisdom only means that you can convince the other person. Wisdom is nothing but truth and there's no other truth over, under, or around it, Do you understand? Nobody trusts you—believe me or r not—and you don't trust anybody. All any of us trust is the essence of truth— whatever it is, wherever we get it, and whether we like it or not. No one wants to be cheated, but without truth how can you not be cheated?

My own experience has been very difficult. Some of the girls that I have raised were very young, little girls when they came to me. They have been around me a while. Now they are 21-year-old women. I am finding it so difficult. If I say anything to them, they quote my own words to me. I can't make a move.

Wisdom is not being clever, or being a con. Wisdom is not fixing something temporarily. Wisdom is not getting away with something. Wisdom is not selling or buying an opportunity. Making something or saying "to hell with it" is not wisdom. Wisdom is predicting what the truth of the situation is, depicting it, and then communicating it, and fixing it, so that the other person knows, exactly, that there is nothing without it.

Everything is temporary on this planet. Only truth is per­ manent unto Infinity, Every female likes the mate-to relate to her in truth. Your relationship should be angled toward the flow of truth—that is your sunshine. Therefore, in communication use the theory of poke, provoke, confront, and elevate. Don't leave the person unelevated in the consciousness of ultimate reality and truth. Even in your sexual relationship, your actions should always be natural, physical, truthful. Before entering any relationship, you must totally communicate the state of your personality in the moment; who you are. If you are worried, if you are tense, if you are depressed, tired, hungry, anxious—you must explain.

I will tell you the greatest story. A couple came in early. They got a hotel room, relaxed. Well, naturally in America when two people relax, you understand what happens:

He said, "How about you?" She said, "How about you?" He said, "Well, I am very tired." She said, " I am very tired, too."

He said, "If you take away my tiredness, 111 give you a good time. If you don't, then we sleep."

When he finished the sentence she was snoring. After about an hour, she woke up. Then she awakened him and said, " Hey, you are snoring."

He said, "I thought you were snoring, too,"

She said, "I don't know...you said something to me." He said, "Forget it It is time for our next appointment now." And they both got up safe and sound.

This is such a relevant joke, because the reality is that two people can enjoy it more than sexual intercourse. It has personality, it has juice, it has action, it has reaction, it has a trip, it has understanding, it has feeling, it has a kind of dealing with each other, and with it is a depth of understanding of reality that you can forecast, but still it's unpredictable, you can't depict it, but it's excellent. It is not the physical dog and bitch relationship. It is the older relationship, which you can live.

Ill give you another example. By mistake, a woman said something very insulting to the man. He went to "Section 13"—deep silence. Remember that formula? "Don't kill a woman with a bullet, kill her with silence." For three days he was silent and she was normal. On the fourth day she lost her temper. She was yelling and screaming and crying and beating herself and pulling her hair. She finally got so tired that she almost fainted and then she fell asleep. When she awoke, she found a very beautiful blanket over her, a pillow under her head, and she was very comfortable. She said, "Very kind of you. You are very nice. You gave me a blanket and a pillow." He turned around and didn't answer her.

n a M To Man

That story has a lot of juice, too. When she told me, there were tears of love in her eyes. She was so proud of her man, so proud of him. She said, "God made me a woman and finally, Yogiji, I got a man—a Man.” Her eyes were open, her face was open, and there was a tremendous smile on her face: ."I -got a man." She told me why she thinks he is. a man.-She said, "Once he becomes silent, there is nothing on the planet Earth I can do to make him talk, until'he forgives;me. He is a man!" .

According to you, a man is one who can drink a whole bottle of bourbon straight and still walk. You know? Your stories are ugly. All those stories of the old days: "A man is a man who will never tie up his horse and go with sixteen women." You remember those old stories about how the West was won? But now the story is different. Woman is intelligent, precise, intellectual. She has personality, surrounding; environment. She has understanding and education. She doesn't need you for money, for business, or even for sex. Women can interrelate sexually now. What I am trying to tell you is that the very deep feeling, the expression that a woman enjoys, which to her is very relaxing, very creative, very relevant, is when she believes and understands in her depth that she has found a man. And in the depth of her heart, she can trust the wisdom of that mart. Then she can forget everything that may be a handicap in that relationship:

future. Therefore, the male is very important. The male in communication, in expression and in action is very powerful through his word; what you say, what you write, what you speak, what you hear, what you understand and what you communicate.

Q: So ifs not your fault?

Yogi Bhajan: No, no, no. Nobody's at fault There is only the San Andreas fault in California. No fault. Actually, there is no such thing as fault, as sin, this and that. These are all relative: terms.

You know, I'll tell you something funny. I had a friend who was a medical doctor, He made a lot of money. He was very happy. One day he came to me and said, "I'm going to commit suicide."

I said, "What for?"

He said," I love my woman, my wife. I'm really in love with her, but I can't live in the house with her. I can't stand it. There's nothing I can do. Life has become totally irrelevant to me, so I'm going to commit suicide."

1said, "Why don't you use cyanide and just go to sleep? Very quick, very easy. Very easy death."

He cried, "Shut up!" I said, "You coward!"

He said, "I am not a coward. Look how brave I am—I have come to you, I don't eat like you, I don't talk like you, I don't live like you/but I think you are wise. Fix me!"

I said, "Okay. How old is your wife?" "Thirty-eight."

I said, "Alright, ask somebody to hire a maid for you. She is not to be any older than 21."

"What will that do?"

I said, "Now get out of here and do it. I have fixed it for you and I'm not going to explain it to you. It is my wisdom, If I explain-it, you fool, you'll mess it up. That's all you Americans do. Twenty-one years old and she should be pretty and Mexican and she should be in your house. And, tell her everything."

"I don't know Spanish."

"You don't have to know Spanish."

He did what I told him and the moment that 21-year-old woman came into the house, his wife became very smart, very humble because there was competition. As long as she had a monopoly, she was intolerable. In capitalism, monopolies are the worst. That's why we have anti-trust laws. The moment her monopoly was indirectly broken, she made the change. He came to me and said, "What can I offer you?"

I said, "Nothing."

He said, " No, I just want to give you a gift."

I said, "Also rent me a 21-year-old maid. That's all you can do." (Laughter.)

Try to understand that life is not the way you want it. Life is not cut and dry. Life is not sluggish. Life is not rude. People make it rude. Life is a pure flow of joy and happiness because it is creativity. When a baby is born, is it unhappy? Is a little innocent baby unhappy? Is the bud of the flower unhappy? Is there any naturally innocent thing that is unhappy? You make it unhappy because you do not know how to handle it You can make the most beautiful thing

ugly; the most happy thing unhappy; the most secure thing insecure. Why? Because you are insane. Is there any doubt about it? Somebody asked Johnny Carson, "What is the secret of your success?" He said, "Insanity in America." The guy gets up, makes a few foolish jokes, a few good jokes, makes you laugh and everybody waits up until 11 o'clock to watch his show. Does he give you scripture? Does he predict what is going to happen tomorrow?

In our lives we do not believe in the flow of commitment. ‘ Life is flow; but the commitment of life flows with it. The commitment of life is a flow, too, and we do not guard the commitment. We only guard the life. That is the tragedy. You don't guard the commitment of life and you don't guard the values of life. It is so simple. First, God gave you life, right? God gave you the flow of life, right? You give your life values and you guard those values. They are very important. Is is very, very important that you guard your values. It's important because life flows in order for you to develop values; and as the life flows and you develop your values, the deeper and deeper should be your commitment.

I'll tell yoij one more thing, a man who can give the impression, the convincing impression, that he is very committed to values never suffers. Your life is not an irrelevant tug of war. It's not a hassle. All you have to do is find the values. That is so important because if you have not found the values for yourself as afather, you cannot find them for your son, your grandson, your neighbor, anybody.

When I came to this country, I didn't have a billboard on my forehead reading, "I am a holy man." I walked in wearing a pink turban and some American pants, which I have never liked, and almost no shoes. This was because my luggage had gotten lost and no clothing fits me here. I looked very peculiar. That made me unique. I was very impressive. In Hollywood, there was no actress who didn't want to shake hands with me. To them, I was imported from South America. Well, that Was all fun but then they talked with me for two pr three minutes. That was it. Then my problems started. They were totally available to me—all the way; and I was not available at all—no way. So to get rid of all the actors and actresses, I told my faithful students, "All those who are faithful to me," (that was the first time I had said, "...to me," not to God and Guru) "raise your hands." There were less than 40 people. I said, "We'll go on a garlic fast, fifteen cloves of garlic every day." In 10 days Hollywood was cleaned out of the ashram.

In those days, the actresses would send their drivers to put down a big towel to save their place in class. It was very difficult to deal with those egos. I knew they were useless because they were all wrapped up in their own values. They didn’t have time for my values. I wanted to find people who could listen to me and pick up my values. The moment people started picking up my values, I told them one more thing: I introduced the idea of bana to them. I told them that

a specific landscape was required to live my values. The moment they got into that landscape, they started loving themselves, they started watering themselves, they started looking at themselves, they started protecting themselves, they started standing out. Something awakened in them: self-respect. They were doing Kundalini Yoga. All that Kundalini Yoga concentrated into a big ball of fire, and with that energy, we have created a nation in 10 years time. It was the most clever, the most rapid, the most scientific and the most determined way to do it. We awakened the dormant power [in the man] when we awakened his selfrespect. We created a saint and a soldier.

Whenever there is a big difference between the man and his landscape, life is unhappy. Sometimes you don't care what you wear, you don't care what you eat. You will eat whatever is set before you—instead, why not fast that day? Do something positive with that energy state. There was a time in India when people were extremely downtrodden. Look at the situation: 10,000 people were picked up to be butchered. Their blood was given to the king's hunting dogs and their meat was used for training the animals to hunt. We are speaking of people, human beings—not animals. Ten thousand people each week and nobody raised a finger. In those days, a mounted soldier of the government, a constable or a policeman, could call on any man in the street and make a footstool of him, that is, step on him to mount his horse. That was permissible.

In that drudgery, that treachery, that holocaust of human consciousness, there was a man called Guru Gobind Singh. He gave everybody self-respect and he started by giving them bana. That bana of consciousness that he gave them is the arc body. This is a most important secret for you to remember: the arc body is the bana of consciousness. The radiant body is the bana of the spiritual body, the soul. That is why I say, "Bana, bani." You are what you eat. You achieve what you speak. Your speaking power makes it possible for you to achieve everything, or nothing. Your power is wand chhako—what you can spare. I have been saying it again and again and again and again. The power of your personality is what you can spare.

I'll judge how much you love me by how much you give me, what suit you bring me. That's your personalitypower. That's not the power of your soul. If you can spare some help, some gift, some good word, some smile for somebody, then your personality can make it. If you can only spare slander, abuse, negativity, gossip, then you can ruin it. In other words, whatever goes out of you, you must realize that it will create either a positive or a negative situation.

Actually, creative intelligence is called sexual energy because both are governed by the pituitary gland. Therefore a meditative mind, which meditates between the center of the eyes, calmly and with a certain rhythm of breath, is very helpful—such is this meditation.

Man To Mart

What I have been trying to relate to you for the past 10 years, and what you have not been willing to hear, is that We are required to be a little different, on a practical level. We are required to have a different kind of strength. We are required to have within us what we need. We cannot go with the free flow of insanity. Life requires much more commitment. It needs it, otherwise it can be almost suffocating. Life needs the nurturing of commitment and commitment needs strength of character. Character needs strength of values and values have to be learned from the learned, and then practiced and lived. This is the paraphernalia of life.

Last night we were up until two or three o'clock counseling one man about his marriage.

He said, "Well, the home is broken. The family is broken." He was not willing to discuss why it had broken or whether it could be mended. "It is a broken home." Period. Live with it. "You have no right to discuss with me what I do with my spare time. I go with

a girl here, a.girl there'.'.. I find somebody or I don't." It was a very peculiar situation.

We were trying to fix the lives of two children, one woman, and him—not to mention a couple of the others he was running around with. We were trying to reach a point where we could create a demarcation. But before that can be done, your life must have some area where you are committed, the surroundings are committed, the personality is committed, the values are committed, and there is a flow behind that commitment. Commitment will dry up and die if you don't nurture it. Commitment needs to have a constant flow behind it. Commitment has to be nurtured, renewed, and refreshed. That is why we say, "Each day, we must pray." What is prayer? Prayer is the power of man. We pray to nourish our souls so that the flow of the spirit will go through us. The only way that spirit can flow through us is through

prayer. We obey religion and its do's and don'ts to channel that spirit. Those do's and don'ts—"I can do this, I can't do that"—are spirit's embankments. We

personalities so that others can value and understand

us. You can't go on and on freaking out, saying what you want to say, doing what you want to do, running around with whomever you wish, and then feel that everything will come out all right—that is not what life is.

There is a word: birthi—imagination. Some people don't have any imagination. They cannot look beyond a few blocks; others cannot look beyond a few days, a few months, a few years.

Once I was having a discussion with a man who said, "WoW, I am 40 years old. I only have another 10 years left."

I said, "What do you want to do?"

"First, I want to divorce my wife. Second, I want to change my job. Third..."

I said, "Third?"

"If possible, I will get lost."

And he did—at the age of 42. It has been 8 years now, he should be 50 years old and nobody knows where he is. Why would somebody run away from life? Run away from identity? Run away from personality? Why is there no strength to face and confront and elevate everything that

comes your way? You cannot uplift whatever comes your way because you are not yourself. Further, you have not put forth any effort to be yourself. The most boring job is to work on yourself. When you work on yourself, who is the self interested in? If the self is not interested in its own self, then you won't do the work. It is a very solitary job, it's very lonely, and it is very, very boring. I will tell you a story:

Early in the morning the common laborers gathered in the marketplace, awaiting work for the day. One morning Kabir went there. "How many are here?" he asked.

"There are 500 of us," they said. "What is the highest wage?"

"The carpenter makes one rupee per day. That is the highest wage."

Kabir said, "Come with me for the day. I will pay the highest wage to each of you." Everybody was happy that he had a job, and that, too, at the highest wage. Kabir took them to a little place where he had them sit down and gave each of them a mala.

They asked, "What do you want us to do with this mala?"

He said, "Meditate with the mala."

No one could say a thing to that because it was a very easy task. Everybody could do it. Kabir said, "You will all be paid one rupee for the day and in the evening I will give each of you a bonus." Then he went away.

n a M To Man