Man to Man

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Man To M a n

recuperation is the night of life. Those three words make the word man: morning, afternoon and night. There is a relationship between them as a man. If you do not equally recuperate and blossom like the morning and rest and take the taste of restfulness—mental rest, spiritual rest, physical rest—you cannot be a man. .

I went to Spain; I went to that fort and I bought a cannon, unfortunately in our negotiations and deciding to buy, the clock struck one. The gentleman we were talking to took a chain and put it on a hook and stopped talking. I tried to persuade him, all right now it is done, give me the cannon, take the money; but he won't speak. I was very shocked, what happened?

So I called another guy I said, "What is the matter?"

He said, "He won't talk now; it is his siesta; he is resting. He won't—doesn't matter whether you buy it or you don't buy it. Come five o'clock he'll talk to you."

We went to test him out five minutes before five; he looked at us, smiled, but won't talk. (Students laugh.) So we waited until five o'clock and at five o'clock he pulled that little chain this way, opened the door and he said, "Thank you very much; it was very kind of you to wait so very long. I really want to sell it. I'll give you five dollars off. Please have it, it is yours."

I was shocked. After buying that cannon I gave him ten dollars. I said, "This is a tip for practicing rest. You have taught me something in practice, which i never learned from the books."

To remind me, I have put that cannon in the secretariat. Whenever I visit the secretariat, I remember the man who sold it to me, because he also sold me a thought: there is a relationship between work and pleasure, work and rest. My condition today, the reason that I cannot be with you, is because I did not rest properly. If being a yogi and having much more—a thousand times more—strength than an ordinary man, if I break the law of nature, if I can be talked into that misery, you cannot be an exception either. That's why I have personally appeared before you, to let you know that rest is as important as work is. Man, in a word, is a constituent of three things—M-A-N—morning, afternoon and night. As the brilliance, calmness and coolness of the night is the doziness and the coziness of the afternoon, and the brightness and beauty of the morning, if these six things don't touch you, you will never experience yourself as a man.

I wish I should stay longer with you; but you have to start and you have to practice what I have laid down for you and I should be leaving you so I can work through my subtle body at a distance. Sat Nam and blessings, blessings, blessings.

You should be fresh and young when you talk, when you seduce, when you pursue. I don't know what you want to call that word, but when you want it. You understand? Secondly, you should always be available, flexible, but very firm. Number three, you must have spontaneous noble manners, so that victory shall be always forever. Spontaneous, noble manners, remember/there is not one woman born who will not test you on that. Woman will test you with three things: Are you noble?

Are you courageous? Are you a man of your word? You can never escape this test..

This love business: "I am falling in love with him," "1 am in love" and■"She is in love/' It is a temporary endowment. She has youth, you are horny; it is a sexual endowment. You have an imagination of facts and features, and she has those facts and features; it is a temporary endowment, You need someone that

has a catering manner, and she has a catering manner; it is a temporary endowment. You feel-in your head and heart that she is yours, and she feels in her head and heart that you are a possibility, You feel, with this combination, that you are on top of the world/and she feels, with this combination, that she will put you on top of the world. She will put a stick in you, so that you will alwayp be up, not down.

This is a very.unfortunate part of women. And this is where men fail—that's where you fail She puts you on a pedestal, you know, a woman can kiss you, hug you, sleep with you and the next morning she will say; "I am going to go see my elder aunty and 1will see you in the afternoon." It turns out that her boyfriend will be there, she will have sex with him and then come back the next morning, acting very righteous and so noble, you can never find her out.

What can happen between men and women is constant bickering, constant nibbling, constant question and answer, constant doubting and shouting. It creates the environments that go from good to bad and bad to worst. Man, who wants to live a very normal, safe life, should not indulge it.

"Murkheyna ulajiye"

"Don't entangle with a foolish person or foolish situation/'

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as well, "'Oh, 1am weird and I am lonely and I am very low and 1don't know, but perhaps you, who have seen me, are not going to be mean. You will raise my consciousness and give me hugs and kisses so I can feel good/'

Woman is a mother, she has a nurturing capacity. You can lay everything on her and get out of trouble. She says, "Oh, yes my darling, really I am very tired, my head is aching" and still you can end up with sex. But for you, first your body has to ache, or you pretend it is aching, you pretend you are not feeling good, so you can go to bed.

If ,she ■knows-you are going tO;go to bed straight, but she knows what you mean, that you're avoiding her/then she can put a condition on it. If you want love with no conditions, always remember; rt is not big love and humor and dogma; and all that, and don't read a lot of poetry or love stories. Love is a simple attraction of the momentary, biorhythm of the body. It is

nothing more than that. You may read all the books and you may see Romeo and Juliet and romance and everything, but when you are not feeling good, you are not good.

Woman has a gender problem. She wants a mate who can meet her demands of security of health, security of wealth, security of senses. A woman, who will be with you, will want to feel proud of you. She should be in awe of you, "wah" of you, she should appreciate you, she should have great reverence for you; but when you act like a woman to a woman, that's where you mess it up. Remember, woman is not a man.

Students: Woman is not a man.

Yogi Bhajan: And man is not a woman. Let's talk about the gay community. They are men and men, and women and women, but even there, one is male and one is female. I studied the gay community while I was in Los Angeles. 1was living in the community where everybody was my neighbor and they were all very open gays, very simple. Among them, there was a male and a female, you can simply look and you can tell. Though instinct is there, the bodies were different. They enjoy life, they have been married, they have a home, they sometimes adopt children, they invite guests, they do everything that we do. Because a female in the body of a male and a male in the body of a female, correctly act, exactly the way others act; or female body, which has a male in it, they have some words for them, I think they call them "queen” and "butch"1and this and that. They have a whole science. They have a whole language. But what do we do? We put them down. If we are not gay, we say gays are bad. And the gaythipks you are weird. Actually, this is an imbalance of the pituitary. It's not

1These were the colloquial terms at the time; they change constantly and he always spoke in culturally relevant terms.

gay and heteroand all that, there is no problem like that. It is the pituitary, the secretion of the pituitary gland, when it is off, the other glandular systems are off. [Editor's Note: Yogi Bhajan refers to the pituitary as the body's command center for glandular balance and function in the body. All of our behaviors and feelings, including gender expression, have a base in the glandular and nervous systems.]

All habits, where you cover yourself up—to extend or to contract—-are the habits of the pituitary. What is the most effective organ? It's the liver, and when your liver is in trouble, you have no appetite for sex. Because the liver will ultimately affect the lung, lung will affect the spleen, spleen will affect the immune system, and body repair will not happen immediately, so there will be longterm stress, and finally, you will be so stressed, that you can't perform. It doesn't matter to me whether you take your underwear off and, in just two minutes, discharge or you take your underwear off and you don't come for two hours. Abnormality is abnormality. Reality of a man, which is

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glowing and glorious and shining and absolutely shrewd, is one who becomes a man of his own manhood. You watch yourself, as a man, and you watch under the hood, you are a man. When you have a headache, you take Tylenol or Advil, you think those things take away the pain? No, they take away your senses. Sense of pain is gone, pain is not gone. Pain is very much there.

When you fight haveyou seen those people who always fight with their wife and then have sex? Why? Because they can't have sex successfully without that aggressive projection. You have seen people who go very methodically, and then once they get up, they grab it and like a rabbit, in-out in-out in-out. You develop all these patterns through your pituitary command center—it's called the command center or Agya Chakra or ajna, Third Eye—that's what they call it

The problem with you is, psychologically, "1 want to do it, I didn't do it, I want to do it, I got it done, 1have got to do it it's not satisfactory, 1couldn't respond, she couldn't... " You have such a mathematical, accounting department up there. What for? Two testicles and a little penis and you have got this whole stuff, this mind, working, thinking, imagining, what is the deal? When you got to go, you got to go. When you are horny, stick your horn somewhere and get it out; but not with all the paraphernalia and all the attachment and all the sensory system.

Sex is very regal—regal—when there is no attachment, when you are stress free, you are personally free, and you just love the joy of doing it. But don't forget, woman must excite. Start with a little foot massage, back rub, whatever, keep playing. Now, you don't have to learn everything from me. There are pictures everywhere: Chinese, German, French, Indian.

Maybe one day I will have to create the man and we'll do

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it differently; but God didn't design it differently. So, | am telling you what the reality is. Today, 99% of women don't care what virginity is, and men don't care either. I was asking a man a question once, I said, "You know, she has about 60 friends and boyfriends." He said, "Well, I am very lucky, she is experienced."

So, anything or everything we say, talk about or understand, you have an argument for it. Sixth sense has no reason, no argument and no contraction and no projection. Sixth sense is totally your own royal, gracious truth. If your sense, sixth sense, is not developed toward the reality, " I am a man, and I have to be a man myself, with my mannerly manners," you don’t have a chance. Okay, we will stop here, you can ask questions. If there is anything I can explore or expand for you, I will be grateful.

Question and Answer

Student: Do you have to wear a shawl or blanket after our cold showers?

Yogi Bhajan: Yeah, you have to. It is called a Jewish shawl. You see Jews, when they pray, they put something on their shoulders? Because your shoulder becomes cold and then your blood and the spinal serum won't go to your brain. It is not a religious thing, it is simple science. You put a blanket around you and you sit. Enjoy it one day, see how good it is. Experiment with it. Especially in Espanola, where the water is pretty cold.

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has already taken that lubrication to use, and thereafter urination should follow. If you urinate quickly, you will not have urethra problem and it will also not.allow the glands to relax and expand and become out of control.

Student: What was that drink you recommended with castor oil?

Yogi Bhajan: As far as I am concerned, I don't teach it, teachings are there, I just repeat them. They say, ounce of castor oil with cardamom in boiled milk. They drink it and they must have had a good experience, otherwise why should they put it in a book—and in a spiritual book. They must have had good feedback, so that's the way it is.

Look toward me, good. You are asking a question right? And you don't care for the environments? Care for the environments—as a man, it is your first faculty to care for environments, care for your position and care for your projection. Those three things are a must for a man. Before you utter a word or before you act.

Student: Sir, is there any food that we can eat to heal ourprostates?

Yogi Bhajan: What we can eat? To heal the prostate—any food that has zinc, it is very useful. There is a medicine in India, which is very effective. In case you are in trouble, you can get the name.

Student: Sir, could you please say something about birth control? The pill, condoms and abortion.

Yogi Bhajan: Birth control is a very wonderful idea. It can be done many ways, one is, withdrawal, second is by moon cycle calculation, third is by using condoms, fourth is very Smart on the part of vvoman, moment you finish, she goes and douches herself, so these are four, five, six ways, that birth can be controlled. But, there is one personal risk in everything, and you have the right to use any method you want, but it must be synchronized with your partner, and female and male must understand what their purpose is in doing it.

Some people religiously feel that we should produce as many children as God sends us, but if God promises, I will send you the children and also the food and everything else then He is gracious and you have the capacity to raise your children. These days though, it is very unfortunate: you have two people working, raising children, seeing to their education, dealing with the neighbors, going to the parties. Have you ever considered all that work and where it goes? But you can conquer all this as a man—if she just puts up a smile, fakes it—you will make it.

Student: Sir, you said, a man is a man who mans himself, and just before you arrived, we were talking about the man's mission. If a man has a mission that takes him away from his marriage or his children

to build his domain, how can he remain noble, spontaneous?

Yogi Bhajan: Very, very simple, my wife knows what I am doing and my children know what I am doing and if they come in the way, I will bulldoze it.

No nonsense. Man is not afraid of losses nor is he afraid of greedy gains. You know, I have built this whole domain. When I came to America, first thing I wanted to do is put all the businesses, which I started, not in my name. Then I fought the point of paying all the ordinary business taxes, but that's why I paid that tax so the profit would not come to me, profit will go to the dharma. So, I set up a president and I set up the businesses, and I set up everything for it. Because I want my children to get what I think is right, but those who have worked with me and sweat and given their life and blood for it, must have, in the long run, the ownership. From them will grow the other people, they will have it and on and on; it's nothing personal. What price I have to pay for it, I don't give two hoots.

Mission is mission and that's a man, but my manners are very polite. I just do what is called justice. When I die, they will get their portion, other portion will go to the dharma, and those who work with me, day and night for 20 hours, for the past 25 years, shall have the ownership. Those who have shown their back and said, "screw you" and all that, they will get the news. Don't worry about it. If you are very straight, you are very straight. You should never be late to be straight. That’s man's biggest fault. But if your wife says, "you have two jobs," and you say, "yes, I have two jobs just to provide all this," and then she finds out there is a girlfriend, then is the tragedy. It is not that I am not straight, but I have lawsuits and I have been put through themill. But it doesn't matter, what can I do? It comes with the territory.

Suppose you are going to Saudi Arabia and they do not allow women. Tell your wife, this is the salary, this is the job, I am going there, I promise you nothing but that I will be your man. That's all—not more than that lesson. But if you find I am not your man, you just tell me; if I find you are not my woman, I will tell you. Relationship will never break. I went through this hell for 28 years, doesn't matter. Who cares? Die by the dozen, but don't kill your honor and don't drag down your grace and don't barter with your courage. Take a stand, take a stand! You don't have to yell and scream to take a stand, just say, "I feel this is right,” or "I feel this is wrong."

Men must speak politely—that's the main thing—and speak with a lot of romance. Dance through the words, start whistling, start singing, start catering, start looking at her eyes, you know, "when I met you at the railway station, remember, we were in the general compartment." My God, even your eyes can't believe it sometimes. Then soon enough, they become bigger and bigger and bigger.

Now I can see clearly what I've fallen into—wow. Woman is done. Don't fuck a woman; cook a woman with the fire of romance. Just romance her, and cook her with the fire of romance.

There isa man, afriend of mine, I asked him today, "How are you doing?" Inthe past six years, he has not had intercourse once, because he. doesn't want to. He appreciates her and at night he talks to her so much, but after a few minutes, he is snoring. The next morning, he says, "I am sorry, I was tired, I slept. No, no tomorrow, another day will come, don't worry about it." But the fact is that he doesn't want it. It is not that she doesn't want it or he doesn't want it, but that in the past so many years, he has been unable to know that he doesn't really want it.

Never, ever, as a man, in the presence of your woman, nibble at any moment, participate in cheap jokes or try to look in wonder.

You are poor or rich, that doesn't mean anything; or you have good character or you have loose character, that doesn't matter; a woman has a sensory system to choose a mate. It's just like the whole world: strongest is best. It's a genetic thing, every woman in her caliber and psyche, shall choose. I don't do it anymore, in the old days, I can see two people then say, "go, get married, you will be fine." Psyche meets. Anything else? You can ask me your question, so you can go from here satisfied because we only have three or four days together and we must do it right.

Student: Sir, before a baby is born, does it know that it's going to be aborted? If a baby is going to be aborted, before incarnation, do they know it is going to be aborted?

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