Individual Class Assignment 2

Decide what semantic relationship between meanings makes the basis of the following jokes, poems, and quotations. Your choices are: polysemy, homonyms, synonyms, or antonyms. Specify the types of homonyms and synonyms. Use the cards for quizzes to record your answers.

Card 1

1. A housewife called down with a frown

When surprised by some callers from town,

“In a minute or less

I’ll slip on a dress” —

But she slipped on the stairs and came down.

2. There was a young lady of station,

“I love man!” — was her sole exclamation.

But when man cried, “You flatter!”

She replied, “Oh, no matter,

Isle of Man is the true explanation.”

3. Welcome, joy, and welcome, sorrow,

Lethe’s weed and Hermes’ feather;

Come today and come tomorrow,

I do love you both together.

4. “What’s the difference between a tree and an aeroplane?”

“One sheds its leaves and the other leaves its sheds”.

5. Which four letters would frighten a thief?

O, I, C, U (Oh, I see you).

Card 2

1. Which two letters of the alphabet have eyes?

A and B, because you say: ABCD (A B see D).

2. Some people say you’re a dear,

yet dear is far from cheap.

It’s very clear, it’s very queer,

And pray who is to blame

for different meaning to some words

pronounced and spelt the same?

3. “The Importance of Being Earnest” (cf. Ernest)

(title of a play by Oscar Wilde).

4. The teacher wrote on the blackboard: 5 + 7 =

“Now find the sum,” said the teacher to a pupil.

“Why me? I didn’t lose it,” the boy answered.

5. The bottle of perfume that Willie sent

Was highly displeasing to Millicent.

Her thanks were so cold

That they quarreled, I’m told,

Through that silly scent Willie sent Millicent.

Card 3

1. Some words have different meanings,

and yet they’re spelt the same.

A cricket is an insect,

to play it — it’s a game.

2. Landlady: How do you like the room as a whole?

Visitor: As a hole it is fine; as a room, not so good.

3. “Which is the strongest day of the week?”

“Sunday, because all the other days are week (cf. weak) days.”

4. “When is a film-producer like an astronomer?”

“When he discovers a new star.”

5. A canner, exceedingly canny,

One morning remarked to his granny,

“A canner can can

Anything that he can,

But canner can’t can a can, can he?”

Card 4

1. There was a young girl, a sweet lamb,

Who smiled as she entered a tram.

After she had embarked

The conductor remarked,

“Your fare.” And she said, “Yes, I am.”

2. “I have always liked you very much, I admire your talent, but, forgive me, — I could never love you as a wife should love her husband.”

3. “What is the difference between a bottle of medicine and a carpet?”

“One is shaken up and taken and the other is taken up and shaken.”

4. Now here’s a thing that puzzles me:

musicians of good taste

will very often form a band —

I’ve one around my waist.

5. There once was a lady named Erskine,

Who had a remarkable fair skin.

When I said to her, “Mabel,

You look well in sable,”

She answered, “I’m best in my bearskin.”

Card 5

1. “What colour were the winds and the waves in the storm?” —

“The winds blew (cf. blue) and the waves rose.

2. Customer: I would like a book, please.

Bookseller: Something light?

Customer: That doesn’t matter — I have my car with me.

3. Johnny’s Grammar

Voice on phone: Are your father and mother at home?

Johnny: They was, but they isn’t now.

Voice: ‘They was , but they isn’t’ — Where is your grammar?

Johnny: She’s out too.

4. “Can February March?”

“No, but April May.”

5. Think you can play Romeo? Romeo should smile, not grin,

walk, not swagger, speak, not mumble.

Card 6

1. “Knock, knock!”

“Who’s there?”

“Isabel.”

“Isabel who?”

“Is a bell necessary on a bicycle?”

2. “Why couldn’t the two elephants go swimming?”

“They had only one pair of trunks.”

3. Teacher: What is the meaning of the word ‘matrimony’?

Willie: Father says it isn’t a word, it’s a sentence.

4. Did you hear about the boy who had Egyptian flu? He caught it from his mummy.

5. “What did the traffic light say to the car?”

“Don’t look now, I’m changing.”

Card 7

1. “How can you keep cool at a football match?”

“Stand next to a fan.”

2. “What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?”

“You’re too young to smoke.”

3. “What animal do you look like when you bathe?”

”A little bear” (cf. bare).

4. Wife: “Do you love me still?”

Husband: “I might if you’d stay still long enough.”

5. How did the sailor know there was a Man on the Moon?”

“He went to sea” (cf. see).

Card 8

1. “Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the dance?”

“He had no body to go with.”

2. “Hey, look — the barometer’s falling!”

“Tsk, tsk, — probably wasn’t nailed up right.”

3. “Why is getting up at three o’clock in the morning like a pig’s tail?”

“It’s twirly” (cf. too early).

4. Notice in a field: “The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.”

5. Think you can play Romeo? Romeo should smile, not grin,

walk, not swagger, speak, not mumble.

SEMINAR 4