Chapter 19

The three women spent the next several hours sitting in the kitchen, with Amanda catching Martha up on the happenings of the last couple of days. She tried to gloss over her involvement in the incident with Rick, but Lex wouldn't let her.

"Wait…wait! Back up, Amanda!" the rancher looked over at Martha. "She neglecting to tell you the best part." Watching the young woman blush, she continued. "Rick started toward Mrs. Cauble, so I stepped in behind him to try and get his attention," she gave a sheepish grin, "He, ah…elbowed me in the ribs…" Lex cleared her throat, "and I dropped like a rock."

"Good lord, child!" Martha reached across the table and placed her hand on the tall woman's arm. "Are you all right?"

Lex nodded. "Yeah…just kinda took my breath away for a few minutes…" she gave the young blonde next to her a warning look. "Anyway, there I was, on my knees trying to catch my breath, when I see Rick moving towards the desk again. He got about two steps when he went flying backwards!"

Martha looked back and forth between the two younger women. "How?" she was practically on the edge of her seat.

"Amanda did some sort of karate, or something…" Lex looked at the younger woman for confirmation.

"Kickboxing…actually." The young woman muttered, embarrassed.

The housekeeper's jaw dropped. "You? Kicked him?"

"Nailed him right on the chin," Lex supplied helpfully. Amanda slapped her on the shoulder. "What?"

"I just wanna die…" the small blonde mumbled, covering her face with her hands.

Martha stood up, chuckling. "Don't feel bad, honey…I think it's great that you can defend yourself." She kissed the top of the young woman's head. "Now…" she waited until she got both women's attention, "I think it would be best if you two stayed the night…it's been a long day, and there's no sense in your driving back to town this late."

Amanda looked at Lex, who shrugged her shoulders. "That sounds like a great idea…let me give my grandparents a call so that they won't worry." She stood up. "I'll just use the phone upstairs, if that's okay."

Lex smiled. "Sure…I'll be up in a minute." Her eyes followed the young woman as she left the room.

"Lexie?" Martha was charmed by the smile on the dark woman's face. "Honey?"

"Hmm?" Lex answered. "Oh! Umm…sorry about that." She straightened up in her chair. "What's up?"

Martha stepped over until she was standing next to the younger woman. Absently running her hand through the dark hair, she murmured, "I was so proud of you this evening, Lexie."

The rancher leaned into the contact unconsciously. "Really? I thought you would be disappointed - I almost strangled my brother on the front porch, Martha." She released a heavy sigh. "Dad was right…" she closed her eyes wearily.

"About what, sweetheart?" the housekeeper continued her gentle ministrations.

"He said my temper would cause nothing but trouble…and he was right - first Lou, and now Hubert." She fought back the tears that threatened to fall when she thought about her youngest brother.

"How can you say that?" Martha sat down in the chair next to the anguished woman. "Louis was killed in a boating accident - you weren't even there!"

Lex looked at the housekeeper, tears threatening to spill from her shining blue eyes. "And if I hadn't lost my temper with him, he would have never gone in the first place."

It was the middle of summer, and Lex was angry because she was stuck in the office at the ranch, when she would much rather be down at the creek swimming. It had been over a year since her father had left her in charge of the ranch, and the teenager was getting more and more stressed out every day. Running the ranch, putting up with the snide remarks of her older brother Hubert, and trying to keep one eye on her younger brother Louis, all combined to make the serious young woman a bundle of nerves.

After an especially trying argument with Hubert over the working of the latest herd of cattle, Lex had escaped to the office for some much needed peace and quiet, when an excited Louis rushed into the room.

"Lex! There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" he exclaimed breathlessly. Where Lex and Hubert favored their mother with their dark good looks and blue eyes, Louis took after their father Rawson - short, small frame, dark blonde hair, and dark hazel eyes.

"Not too hard to figure out where I am," she muttered, "I seem to live in this damn office."

"Yeah," Louis agreed sadly. He missed his playful sister, who seemed to have disappeared in the past year or so. "Hey! I've got a great idea! A bunch of us are going to the lake this afternoon - why don't you come with us?"

Lex ran an impatient hand through her hair. "I can't…there's too much to do around here." She looked at her younger brother. "Just who is 'a bunch of us'?"

Louis couldn't meet her eyes. "Uh…well…five guys from school, and Jim's brother Randy, who's gonna drive us out there."

"Randy? The kid that just got out of juvenile detention? No way!" Lex stood up and paced around the desk. "He's what? Sixteen?" she looked at Louis, who was beginning to mirror her angry posture. "I absolutely forbid it!"

"You don't own me, Lex! I wasn't asking your permission - I just wanted to let you know where I'd be." He began to walk backwards towards the door.

"Dammit, Lou…use your head! You need a 'responsible' adult around if you guys are going to the lake…not some kid who just got out of jail!" She was interrupted by a horn honking in the front of the house.

"They're here…I gotta go." Louis started for the door.

"Lou…I won't allow it!" she reached for his arm.

Jerking away from her, he cried, "You're…not…my mother, Lex! I don't need your permission to go anywhere - Hubert already said I could go!" He turned back to face her. "I'll see you tonight." The young man raced out of the office.

Lex started after him, but the phone on the desk stopped her. "What!?" she yelled into the receiver, taking her anger out on a poor helpless salesman who happened to call at the wrong time.

The rancher was still simmering in the office when the phone rang again, several hours later. "Hello?"

A stranger's voice asked, "Lexington Walters?"

'Great, another salesman,' she thought. "Who wants to know?" Lex growled.

A short pause, then a sigh. "This is Richard Saylor…I'm one of the rangers that handles Somerville Lake."

'I knew it! They're in some sort of trouble…' she grumbled to herself. "Is this about my brother, Louis? What kind of trouble did he get into?" she asked resignedly.

The man cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Miss Walters, we need you to come down to the lake…there's been an…accident."

Lex jumped to her feet. "What kind of accident? Is my brother…?"

"The boat your brother was riding in capsized when another boat broad-sided it…" the ranger spoke gently, "I'm afraid your brother was killed…" he paused. "Do you have someone that can drive you to the lake? We need a relative to make a positive identification."

"I'll be right there." Lex hung up the phone numbly.

Looking back, Lex realized that was the day she shut herself down - only going through the motions of day to day living, until Hubert brought Linda home. For a short while, Lex allowed herself to feel, until she was handed her heart back to her in pieces. Then it became easier to hide inside a bottle than to face the loneliness. After she sobered up, Lex decided to just quit caring - you couldn't get hurt if you didn't care. She never really mourned the death of Louis, choosing instead to shut off all of her emotions - until a certain green-eyed blonde entered her life.

Martha leaned over and pulled the younger woman into her arms. "Sweetheart, blaming yourself for that does no good…it was an accident, plain and simple. No one was to blame, especially you." The housekeeper kissed the top of the dark head. "Let it go…" she held the rancher closely to her as Lex sobbed, finally releasing all the grief she had held in for so many years.

Amanda stood quietly in the doorway, feeling guilty for witnessing such a private scene. God…I vaguely remember that summer - I had no idea who that boy was that had been killed. Poor Lex. Amanda wasn't very fond of the water, so she and her grandparents rarely went to the lake when she visited in the summer…but she remembered hearing them speak of the tragedy right after it happened. Sparing one final glance in the kitchen, she turned and walked silently back up the stairs, tears of compassion in her eyes.

"Sorry, Martha…I don't know what came over me…" Lex pulled back and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "It's been almost ten years - why did I fall apart now?"

The housekeeper brushed the hair out of the younger woman's eyes. "Baby, you finally gave in to your feelings enough to grieve." No sense in telling her how afraid I've been, wondering what would happen if she ever did open up…my poor little girl. She picked up a napkin from the table and wiped Lex's face with it, like she used to do when the rancher was a child. "Now you go upstairs and get a good night's sleep."

Lex took a deep breath, then gave the older woman a shaky smile. "You're right, as usual. I'm pretty worn out." She leaned over and kissed the graying head. "Thanks."

Martha waved her off. "No need to thank me, child…that's what I'm here for." She stood up, embarrassed.

Smiling to herself, the tall woman stood up as well, then enveloped the stocky woman in a strong hug. "Well, thanks anyway." She felt the small arms give her a squeeze. "I love you, you know." The rancher whispered, just before she released the older woman.

"I love you too…" Martha replied. She stepped back and turned Lex towards the doorway. "Now go on upstairs before Amanda thinks you've run off!" she swatted the smiling young woman on the rear.

"Yes ma'am." Lex hurried from the kitchen and up the stairs.

***

Taking and releasing a deep breath, Lex stood in the darkened doorway of the master bedroom, the only light in the room coming from the low burning fireplace.

"Amanda?" she called out quietly, unable to see if the younger woman was asleep on the bed. A movement near the fireplace caught her eye.

"Over here." Amanda sat up from her curled up position in one of the stuffed chairs.

Lex crossed the room quickly, dropping to her knees at the blonde woman's feet. "You okay?" she asked, placing her hands on the small legs.

Even in the dim light, Amanda could see the rancher's red and puffy eyes. Reaching out with a gentle hand, she brushed the unruly hair from Lex's face. "I'm fine…but you're looking a little rough around the edges - what's say we take a quick shower and go to bed?" she continued to run her hand through the dark hair.

"Mmm…" Lex closed her eyes and absorbed the loving touch. "That's the best offer I've had all day." She gathered her wits about her and stood up. "C'mon…I'll scrub your back." She pulled Amanda up beside her, wrapping both arms around the smaller woman.

Amanda enjoyed the warm security of the strong arms she found herself in. Closing her eyes, she was content to stand and absorb the love that emanated from the older woman. "I could stay here forever," she mumbled, not realizing she had spoken out loud until she felt Lex squeeze her a little tighter.

"I hope so…" Lex murmured in her ear, "because I have no intentions of ever letting you go." She pulled her head back slightly so she could look into Amanda's eyes. "I love you." Leaning down, Lex gently covered the younger woman's lips with her own, placing a soft, re-affirming kiss on slightly parted lips.

Amanda leaned into the kiss, accepting the gentle, almost hesitant touch from the taller woman. Finally breaking off to breathe, she leaned her cheek against the rancher's heaving chest. "Let's go get that shower…" she gave Lex a quick kiss on the chin. "If you're real good," she led the dazed woman towards the bathroom, "I'll practice my massage techniques on you." She swatted Lex on the rear and closed the bathroom door.