48. Bus journey

Mum had a kidney failure. She had to be hospitalized for a few weeks. My family made the arrangements for me to travel to my parents and help them in this situation. The house had been locked up for three months and needed some good spring-cleaning. Mum needed help while in hospital too. She couldn’t eat much, especially hospital food; she much rather appreciated home-made dishes she was used to.

The bus journey of about eighteen hours seemed short. Buses are like confession places. You meet people for the first time and most probably the last so some open up and talk about things that are on their hearts. My co-passenger shared her family problems and needed someone to listen to her. It just showed to me that everyone is overloaded with things that matter to us. To others they might be of secondary importance but to us they are our whole life. We wake up with them, we carry them to our work, or we might leave them for several hours. But then we pick them up again. We go to bed with our worries that keep us awake or give us nightmares. Worries, if we don’t act upon them, keep our nerves stretched and often make us sick.

While listening to my new acquaintance I forgot about my own burden. As soon as our conversation ended my thoughts went back to what was so important to me: my parents and my own family. How is it all going to work out? Some situations in life are very difficult. Sometimes it seems we are also walking the Via Dolorosa, the Way of Suffering. However, Jesus who understands human predicament and the human soul addressed our problem.

“28 ‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11, NIV)

How our restless souls yearn for peace and refuge in this troublesome world. Jesus calls us to unload our burdens to Him. He promises us rest. In this rough and sometimes aggressive and cruel world there is someone who is gentle and humble at heart. Coming closer to Him we can find rest for our souls. Jesus wants us to carry a different yoke, for we all have to carry something to make us feel useful. His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

Through the Bible God speaks to us. The words written in different contexts and to different people God can use to speak to us personally, for it is His Word. When we are ready to hear Him with our whole hearts, God is ready to speak to us. If we trust Him completely, He fulfills His words and promises in our own lives. I was weary and burdened, I brought my load to God and He gave me rest, peace and strength for what was ahead of me.

49. In the hospital

Mum shared a hospital ward with two other ladies who were in the last stage of cancer. She became a close friend with Slavica, a lady several years younger than her. On my first visit to mum, I realized mum had told them about my coming and it felt as if they waited for me.

Every morning I would try to clean one room at home and cook something mum could eat. She ate very little for the cancer was closing her esophagus, and she was slowly starving. She could handle liquid and blended food better. It was hard to watch mum deteriorating and not be able to stop the process. All I could do were little things to make her comfortable and make her feel loved.

I spent lunchtime and afternoons in the hospital. Mum would eat and I would do little chores for her and her roommates. Mum had a special task for me: to talk about God. Her roommates were eager to listen. Day after day they listened about how God manifested his character through Jesus Christ. We all have an opinion about God that is formed by what someone has told us, what we have observed or experienced. The Bible talks about a merciful God, and Jesus proved this in His life on our planet. Mercy in itself combines forgiveness and compassion, authority and love.

Jesus was approaching Nain with His disciples and a large crowd. At the gate of this small town they met a funeral procession, another large crowed. They joined a widow who lost her son. When Jesus saw the sorrow-struck and desperate widow, His heart was filled with compassion for her. He did something for this widow that no other person on earth could ever do. He called her son to life, and gave him back to his mother; this was just one of Jesus’ miracles of mercy recorded in the Gospels (Luke 7:11-17).

In His stories Jesus portrayed a merciful God. There was a man who had two sons. The younger wanted to leave the father’s house and asked for his inheritance in advance. The father agreed on this uncommon request; this gives an impression of a rebellious and disrespectful young man. The father lets him go to experience the world he is so attracted to. After carelessly spending all his inheritance and ending up as a servant and starving, he started appreciating his own father. He realizes his own fault and is prepared to ask for his father’s kindness to take him back as a servant as that’s all he deserves.

The father treats the returning son not as he deserves but as the father he is, merciful. He reinstated his sonly position and gave him honor. This a ct irritated the older son, but did not stop the father to show his love that was beyond any expectation. In this story, recorded in Luke 15:11-32, the father represents God who is without reservations merciful. Story after story Jesus told, approved of acts of mercy, for He himself is merciful.

All three women intently listened to the many stories about Jesus and wondered about God’s love and claimed His mercy in their own lives.