Dance on the Edge

Marica Mirilov

A paradox of human life is that we all aim for bliss of happiness, but it’s only in sorrow and pain that we reach deeper spheres of spirituality. Brought to the edge of life with terminal illness the writer’s mother got to know God and developed a relationship with Him that even death couldn’t threaten. People write books to tell their story of healing. They portray Jesus in action of miracle doing.

Dance on the Edge is a true story about a miracle of spiritual healing. It ends with the protagonist’s death that is the reality for many people who fight terminal illnesses. Mum, as the writer refers to her mother Marija Klemm, discovered and claimed God’s promise of eternal life given to all humanity, so she was never dying but enjoyed every day given by God. She danced on the edge. It’s a book that shows in a striking way the understanding of a simple woman, what it means to be a Christian through her beliefs and actions. Mum ‘fell asleep’ content in God’s love and ready to continue the relationship with God throughout eternity.

Dance on the Edge is a story of a family brought together in times of tragedy during illness. The family described is an ordinary family made unique when God manifested His love and involvement in all aspects of their lives. When God was permitted to enter their lives, miracles became a way of living.

DANCE ON THE EDGE

Today on the edge,

Dance!

Don’t wait for another chance.

Embrace life;

Sweet scent of flowers,

Mellow songs of birds,

Bite of a delicious apple,

Softness of the rain,

Golden sunset,

Before tiered eyes are closed,

No feelings, no need,

Before everything turns into void.

Dance,

not solo performance.

Kiss whom you love,

Turn around, give everyone a smile.

The dance belongs to one who danced when

the idea to create you became real,

your life became blessed and a blessing,

your sight moved beyond the edge of a mortal man.

Dance with the Prince of life.

He will take you over the edge

to eternal side.

Table of Contents

Table of Contents 3

1. AN AWFUL DREAM 5

2. A JOURNEY HOME 6

3. FACE TO FACE WITH LIFE 7

4. DRAMA IN THE GRAVEYARD 8

5. IMPERISHABLE 9

6. STRIPPED OF FEMALE DIGNITY 10

7. MAKING EVRYTHING NEW 12

8. HUMAN BEFORE DIVINE 12

9. WRITTEN ON THE GROUND 13

10. SENSING GOD’S LOVE 15

11. WHITE AS VIRIGIN SNOW 16

12. REACHING OUT IN FAITH 17

13. SOUL DRIVEN BODY 18

14. BEYOND MANY MILES 19

15. LOOKING AHEAD 21

16. UNFORGETABLE EVENTS 22

17. “IT WAS MY TURN” 23

18. BROKEN STRENGTH 25

19. HELPED BY AN ANGEL 26

20. WHEN THE CAR SPOKE 27

21. NEVER GIVE UP 28

22. GOD’S CHILDREN 30

23. THE DREAM 31

24. FACE TO FACE WITH DEATH 32

25. “THERE IS A GOD” 33

26. AT THE BAPTISMAL POOL 34

27. “I’M GOING AND YOU DECIDE FOR YOURSELF” 36

28. SUNDAY BREAKFAST SPECIAL 37

29. “I HEARD HIM SING” 38

30. DANCING ON THE EDGE 39

31. UNDER GOD’S CONTROL 41

32. NO REGRETS 42

33. GOD’S BIRTHDAY GIFT 43

34. GARDEN PICNIC 45

35. MYSTERY 46

36. NO LONGER FATHERLESS 47

37. BAPTISM 48

BAPTISM 48

38. LATE FRUITS 49

39. FAMILY OF GOD 50

40. GROWING TOGETHER 52

Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
 52

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
 52

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought! 53

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
 53

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
 53

41. SPA 54

42. MOTHERLY LOVE 55

43. WOMAN TO WOMEN 56

44. CREATED DIFFERENT 57

45. THE BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT 59

46. AT THE EDGE OF THE NEW 60

47. RETURN HOME 61

48. BUS JOURNEY 63

49. IN THE HOSPITAL 64

50. ON THE BRINK OF LOOSING EVERYTHING 65

51. SPIRITUAL REFESHER 66

52. THE LAST SUPPER 68

53. RETURNING WITHOUT A COAT 69

54. MOTHER’S DAY 70

55. THE BEST OF YOUR MUM 72

56. IN THE GARDEN 73

57. I WILL WAIT FOR YOU 74

58. GOD PROVIDED 75

59. CHRISTIANS DIE SINGING 77

60. LAST WORDS 78

61. READY? 79

BE READY 80

“BE READY!” 80

You got ready 81

62. ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE 81

63. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN 82

HAPPINESS WILL FOREVER REIGN 84

1. An awful dream

What an awful dream! I was screaming in my dream and made strange noises that woke my husband up. “Calm down. It’s only a dream,” my husband tried to reassure me.

I couldn’t stop sobbing. I could hardly talk. It was a dream I would never forget; it was 7^th October 1999, my 33^rd birthday, early morning just about the time I was born. In my dream I had received the news that my mother had died. At the time I was living in Northern Ireland. I was supposed to be at her funeral but couldn’t make it on time. She was already buried when I reached our small village, Stari Slatinik, in Eastern Croatia. Approaching the gate of the graveyard and dreading the reality, I fought a power in the form of wind that I couldn’t defeat. And this fight woke me up.

As I was weeping I told my husband I had to call my parents straight away. He tried to calm me down and advised me to wait until later, not to disturb my parents so early. Every minute of waiting was like an hour, I was sure this dream had a special meaning.

“Mum, tell me what’s happening!” I started our conversation. “Happy birthday our daughter. Who told you?” mum tried to control the situation. “Just tell me, and tell me everything.” I insisted.

Just a month and a half prior to this, my husband, 5 and 8 year-old daughters and I had gone on holiday with my parents on the Adriatic coast. I had noticed that mum had lost some weight and couldn’t eat much. Mum was never a good eater and complained that the heat made her rather sick when she wanted to eat. So, we didn’t pay much attention to that.

However, from then on she started losing weight rapidly. The family doctor immediately assessed the situation and at the time I called her she was already undergoing different medical examinations. On 22^nd October 1999 she was on the operating table, diagnosed with malignant stomach cancer.

My older sister Ana, 37 years of age, came home from Serbia, where she had lived for 15 years with her family. She stayed for two weeks to help our parents as mum was recovering from the operation. We agreed that I would go home to help after mum’s second chemotherapy, when the side effects would be traumatic.