Chapter Forty-one

Jessie knew she was insane to be out in this weather, but she didn't want to spend the night alone. She crept through the deserted town, trying desperately to see through the snow. She had driven in enough snowstorms to know to look through the snow to the road or you would become hypnotized by the flakes as they surround your car, but she had never driven in a blizzard.

She passed the lodge at the edge of town, the parking lot full. Most of the guests were staying over another night since the roads heading back to the city were already closed. She slowed to a crawl as she approached the forest road that would take her to Annie's. Her four-wheel drive held as she made the corner, but the road was completely covered in snow and she tried to stay in the middle for fear of skidding off the side and getting stuck. She nearly took out Annie's mailbox as she turned into the driveway, her rear fender missing it by inches, and she pumped the brakes, coming to a standstill next to the house. She released the death grip she had on the steering wheel, and let out a relieved breath. She grabbed the overnight bag from the backseat, slammed the door and ran up the steps. Annie had the door open before she could knock and she hurried past her into the warm house.

"Jessie, thank God," Annie said. "You shouldn't have been driving in that. The radio says the roads are a mess."

"Well, they're not lying," she said as she took off her parka.

Annie took it from her and hung it on the coat rack by the door. "Sit by the fire. I'll bring you a glass of wine."

Jessie nodded and stood with her back to the fire, her hands held out behind her. She squeezed her eyes shut. She was so worried about Chris. Was she still battling the blizzard on the trails or had she found shelter? She didn't want to think about the possibility of no shelter. It would be below zero by morning, not to mention the wind chill.

"I'm glad you're here, Jessie, but I was worried about you driving in this. Why didn't you just go over to Chris's? I'm sure she wouldn't have minded you staying with her."

"Chris is out on the mountain, Annie," Jessie said.

"What? In this? Oh, no," she said. "Did someone get hurt?"

"Two skiers got separated at the Nevada Trail. One of them made it back. Chris and Bobby went out to look for the other one," she stated, her voice flat.

"Surely, the storm... they knew it would hit," Annie said. "They can't possibly try to ski in this."

Jessie heard the worry in her voice, but she had no words of comfort.

"Roger lost radio contact. It was too much static. He said he would call as soon as he knew something," she said quietly, feeling her voice catch.

"Oh, no." Annie sank down on the sofa. "Jessie, we mustn't think the worst. Chris is trained, she knows the mountain. She'll know what to do," Annie said firmly, but in a tone edged with worry.

Jessie met her eyes. "Do you think so?"

"Yes." She offered a small smile. "In case you haven't noticed, Chris can be very stubborn. She won't let this storm get the best of her."

"I hope you're right, Annie." She looked at her watch. An hour and a half since she'd left Roger. "I'm going to call in, though. Just in case he has some news."

Jessie walked to the phone and Annie watched her, surprised at her obvious worry for Chris, a woman she had only known a short time.

"It's Jessie. Anything new?" she asked.

Annie could tell by the drop of Jessie's shoulders that there was no news.

"What do you mean?" A pause. "There's static on the line, Roger. Let me give you my cell number. You promise you'll call the second you know something?"

Annie listened as Jessie rattled off her number, then waited as Roger spoke.

"I know, Roger, but I'm nearly out of my mind here. I don't know what she's told you... good, then you understand my feelings."

Annie watched Jessie hang up the phone, then down her glass of wine in one swallow.

"What is it?" she asked.

"There's no radio feedback at all. She's not even trying to acknowledge their transmission," she said quietly. She was on the verge of tears and she walked rapidly into the kitchen and refilled her wineglass. Oh, her sweet Chris, please let her be okay.

"Jessie, that doesn't mean anything's happened to them," Annie said from behind her. "The radio could have frozen up, the storm could block the transmission, anything."

"I know," she said softly. God, she didn't want to cry in from of Annie. How would she explain tears to Annie?

"I didn't realize Chris meant so much to you," she said.

Jessie turned around and met her questioning eyes. "We've become close," she said simply. She felt a tear slide down her cheek, and she finally gave in to them. "I've just found her. I can't possibly lose her now," she cried.

Annie wrapped her arms around the crying Jessie, soothing her, not having any idea of what Jessie was talking about.

"Shhh, it'll be okay. Come, let's sit by the fire. Then you can tell me what's got you so upset."

Jessie followed numbly behind Annie and sat at the edge of the sofa. She stared into the fire, wiping the remaining tears away. Oh, she longed for Chris to be here, to comfort her.

"Jessie?"

She turned her eyes to Annie, wondering what her reaction would be? Would she be upset? Startled? Disappointed?

"Chris is very important to me, Annie," she said quietly. "We're..." What? Lovers? Of course. But they were more than just that.

"You've become good friends, Jessie. I had hoped you would," Annie said.

"We're more than friends, Annie. Chris and I... are lovers," she confessed. At Annie's shocked expression, she continued quickly. "I know you don't understand, and this is probably a complete shock to you, but Chris and I... well, we have this connection between us. It was there from the beginning. And I've never needed anyone like I need her. I've never had anyone in my life, Annie, but I need Chris in my life." She felt tears form again and pushed them away. "And I can't lose her now."

Annie nodded, for once at a complete loss for words. To say that Jessie's words had shocked her would be an understatement. She knew there was a familiarity between them, but still, she didn't think there had been enough time for them to explore this type of a relationship.

"Please say something."

"I know that Chris is a lesbian. She told me awhile ago. It just never occurred to me that you were, I guess. Or is this just because of Chris?" she asked hesitantly.

Jessie shook her head. "It's not just Chris, Annie. I've never had a lover before, I've just had sex partners. But always women."

Annie took a deep breath. "Because of Jack?"

Jessie shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know. I just have no attraction to men. But Chris broke down all my barriers, made me feel something, made me want something. She's given me hope that I might have love in my life."

"You're in love with her?" Annie asked quietly, not really understanding.

"I don't know what it feels like to be in love, Annie. I only know I hurt inside thinking she might not come back to me," she whispered.

Annie reached over and took her daughter's hand and held it gently.

"I don't know why I'm surprised. Chris has a way about her, she's such a charmer. And I've not been completely blind to the looks that pass between you two sometimes." She squeezed Jessie's hand. "I'm not too old to appreciate a good romance. So tell me, it was the other night when you had dinner here?"

Jessie blushed and Annie laughed.

"Roger couldn't find Chris the next morning. That's because she was with you?"

"Yes."

Annie smiled at Jessie's obvious embarrassment. She couldn't wait to get Chris alone. Oh, the teasing would be merciless.