Chapter Fourteen

They hurried down the mountain, trying to beat the rain that was threatening. They had taken time for coffee and a quick breakfast of two muffins that Chris had stuffed in her pack, which were flattened nearly beyond recognition. Neither mentioned the incident of the previous night, nor the mostly sleepless night both of them had endured.

The air was cool and damp, just enough to prevent them from shedding their sweatshirts. By the time they reached the trailhead, it was starting to sprinkle and thunder rumbled overhead. They both tossed their packs in the Jeep, which was still uncovered. Chris had removed the top for the summer and she turned the heater on now as she drove quickly to the cabins.

"I don't guess I could talk you into coming to my place first?" Chris asked. "I could use some help with the top and I don't think I'm going to beat the rain."

"Of course. I don't mind getting wet, McKenna. Why should you have all the fun?"

The canvas top was stored under her bed and Chris ran to get it as the rain fell harder. They were soaked by the time the Jeep was covered and the windows zipped up.

"Come on inside. We'll wait it out," Chris offered.

She found towels for both of them, then left Jessie on the sofa with Dillon perched importantly in her lap. Chris took a quick shower, then changed into dry clothes. Jessie and Dillon were still on the sofa when she returned.

"He likes me," Jessie stated as she pointed to the curled up cat in her lap.

"Well, don't get a big head or anything. That's his favorite position."

"And I thought it was my charming personality he was attracted to."

Chris smiled at the two of them, watching a relaxed Jessie as she petted the cat.

"Listen, if you want to take a shower, I can probably find some clothes to fit you. We're about the same size," Chris offered.

"That's okay. I can wait."

Chris shrugged, then opened the refrigerator and peered inside.

"I'd offer to fix you lunch, but it's kinda bare," she apologized.

Jessie startled her as she leaned over her shoulder.

"Beer, salsa, milk, more beer and... cheese?" Jessie teased. "Oh, and an apple. Like I said, you don't cook much, do you?"

"I can open a can of soup and I can do cereal," Chris stated.

"Do cereal? That's really not cooking, McKenna." Jessie reached inside and pulled out two beers. "This will do."

They sat quietly at the table, listening to the rain. Chris wondered when they would broach the subject of last night or if they ever would. Jessie's eyes were veiled, her words guarded. Perhaps she regretted the few minutes of abandon the previous evening. Or maybe she was simply regretting the conversation about her childhood.

"You know, McKenna, I really didn't know how to act this morning," Jessie finally said.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I'm talking about," she stated. "And I'm not only talking about the episode out there in the moonlight. That was... nice. But there's not a single person in my life that knows about my childhood, except several therapists scattered in San Francisco and New York. Actually, there's not really all that many people in my life, period," she admitted. In fact, there wasn't anyone.

"What do you mean?" Chris asked again.

Jessie turned cool, dark eyes on her. Eyes totally devoid of emotion.

"I have a problem establishing relationships, or so I've been told. I'm not exactly a nice person, McKenna," she said.

"You're not? I think you're nice," Chris said.

"But you don't really know me, do you?"

Jessie stood up and walked to the window, her back to Chris. No need to prolong this, she thought. Tell her what a bitch you are. Get it over with. Tell her how close you came to using her last night. There was no need to hang around here, pretending to vacation. She came to Sierra City to find Annie, to talk to her. No other reason than that.

But when she turned around, she collided with clear blue eyes that were filled with trust and understanding. Chris looked back at her, waiting.

"I... I use people, McKenna. For whatever I need. Professionally, personally." She shrugged. "For sex."

"And are you warning me or are you confessing?" Chris asked calmly.

"Look, McKenna, I'm just saying that I'm a taker. Not a giver. And for some crazy reason, I don't want to do that to you."

"Why?"

"Because that's just who I am, what I am. I don't know why."

"No. Why don't you want to do that to me? If you just use people for what you need then discard them, why are you warning me?"

Why indeed? Jessie turned back to the window, wrapping her arms across her chest. Because for the first time in so many years, she actually found someone she liked. And that scared her.

"Jessie, if you're upset about what happened last night, let's talk about it. I don't know about you, but it certainly wasn't something I planned."

"Wasn't it? Then why did you invite me along?"

Chris shrugged. "I like you."

Jessie groaned. No. She didn't want Chris to like her. God, nobody liked her. Why in the world would this woman be different?

"McKenna, if you knew me, trust me, you wouldn't like me."

"Why are you so hard on yourself?"

"Because, goddammit, I'm a bitch, that's why. I told you, I use people. And I'll use you, too. Because that's just the way I am."

Chris looked at the woman before her, the woman who was trying so hard not to be liked. Jessie Stone was an attractive woman. She was also a successful writer. Why then, was this woman standing with her arms wrapped around herself, so completely insecure and unsure of herself?

Chris walked over to her and unwrapped her arms, lightly grasping both of Jessie's hands.

"I'm sorry, but I just don't see it."

"McKenna..."

"No. I think you've led yourself to believe this and others have told you this so you assume it's true. But underneath all of that, I think you're a very nice, charming person. If you'll let yourself be, anyway."

Jessie wanted to laugh. What the hell did Chris know about it? They were practically strangers.