Числова_английский

Ceremony of Washing the white Lions on the April first, 1860. Admitted only at the White Gate”. On the appointed Day crowds of people, some in cabs and carriages, some on foot, made their way to the White Gate. But there was no gate at the Tower called the White Gate, nor were there any white lions. And the victims understood that they had been made April Fools. But they left some consolation in thinking what a lot of money in postage and printing charges it cost to the author of the joke.

On this day of national good humour, the television service joins in the fun. Recently they told the story of a building that had been built upside-down by mistake. They showed an example of modern architecture, which actually did look better when it was turned the other way. Many people must have been fooled, and perhaps the architect himself was given food for thought.

Happy New Year

In sixteenth-century France, the start of the new year was observed on April first. It was celebrated in much the same way as it is today with parties and dancing into late hours of the night. Then in 1562, Pope Gregory introduced a new calendar for the Christian world, and the new year fell on January first. There were some people, however, who hadn’t heard or didn’t hear or didn’t believe the change in the date, so they continued to celebrate New Year’s Day on April first. Others played tricks on them and called them “April fools.” They sent them on a “fool’s errand” or tried to make them believe that something false was true. In France today, April first is called “Poisson d’Avril.” French children fool their friends by taping a paper fish to their friends’ backs. When the “young fool” discovers this trick, the prankster yells “Poisson d’Avril!” (April Fish!)

Today Americans play small tricks on friends and strangers alike on the first of April. One common trick on April Fool’s Day or All Fool’s Day, is pointing down to a friend’s shoe and saying, “Your shoelace is untied.” Teachers in the nineteenth century used to say to pupils, “Look! A flock of geese!” and point up. School children might tell a classmate that school has been cancelled. Whatever the trick, if the innocent victim falls for the joke the prankster yells, “April Fool!”

The “fools’ errands” we play on people are practical jokes. Putting salt in the sugar bowl for the next person is not a nice trick to play on a stranger. College students set their clocks an hour behind, so their roommates show up to the wrong class – or not at all. Some practical jokes are kept up the whole day before the victim realizes what day it is.

Most April Fool jokes are in good fun and not meant to harm anyone. The most clever April Fool joke is the one where everyone laughs, especially the person upon whom the joke is played.

Jokes and Games

Here is a statement:

Their is four errors in this sentence.

Can you find them all?

In a Budapest zoo:

Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on

duty.

In a Tokyo Hotel:

It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notice.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from the Russian Orthodox monastery:

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In Bangkok temple:

It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

From a Japanese information booklet about using the hotel air conditioner:

Cooles and Heates: if you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner’s:

Drop your trousers here for the best results.

* * *

Lawyer: Now that we have won, will you tell me confidentially if you stole the money? Client: Well, after hearing you talk in court yesterday I’m beginning to think I didn’t.

“Now, now,” said the doctor. “I took your wife’s appendix out five years ago. I never heard of anyone having a second appendix”.

“Maybe not, Doc,” replied the anxious husband. But did you ever hear of a man having

-Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to walk from here? =That depends a good deal on where you want to get to, said the Cat. -I don’t much care where – said Alice.

=Then it doesn’t matter which way you walk, - said the Cat.

* * *

-You don’t seem to realize on which side your bread is buttered. =What does it matter? I eat both sides.

* * *

-Guest: “Look here! How long must I wait for you to bring me the half-portion of duck I ordered?”

=Waiter: “Till somebody orders the other half. We can’t go out and kill half a duck.”

A farmer was telling a stranger about a remarkable ointment he used on

his cows.

“You can cut off a cow’s tail, rub the ointment on the stump, and a new tail will grow on the cow in five days.”

“That’s nothing,” the stranger said. “In Wisconsin, you can cut off a cow’s tail, rub OUR ointment on the end of the TAIL, and in four days a new cow grows on the end of the old tail.”

26th October

R.D. Smith has one Sewing Machine for sale.

Phone 66598 after 7 p.m. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap. 27th October

R.D. Smith informs us he has received several annoying telephone calls because of an incorrect ad. in yesterday’s paper. It should have read :

R.D. Smith has one sewing machine

for sale. Cheap.

Phone 66598 after 7 p.m. and ask for

Mrs. Kelly who

loves with him. 28th October

R.D. Smith. We regret an error in R.D. Smith’s classified

advertisement yesterday. It should have

read:

R.D. Smith has one Sewing Machine for

sale.

Cheap. Phone 66598 and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him after 7 p.m.

(The Tanganyika Standard)

* * *

Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark: you know what you are doing, but nobody else does.

Edgar Watson Howe

Actual Headlines from the Newspapers

Include Your Children when Baking Cookies

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Safely Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Teachers Strike Idle Kids

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Times in 10 years

Eye Drops Off Shelf

Clinton Wins on Budget, But More lies Ahead

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Juvenile Court to try Shooting Defendant

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

THE SCIENTISTS AND THE WATCHES

One night a crazy scientist got involved in a rather silly argument with a fellow scientist. They were arguing about whose watch was the better, the Swiss one or the Japanese one. Being scientists, they decided to do an experiment to test the watches. The first part of the test was to see if both were waterproof. (They were both so convinced of the quality of their watches that they were willing to risk ruining them.)

They went into their laboratory looking very serious. They filled the sink with water, put the watches in, waited impatiently for ten minutes and took them out.

They could see there was something wrong with both watches, but being cautious men of science they observed them for a couple of hours before speaking to each other. The tension was unbearable. They silently realized that the Swiss watch was losing sixty minutes an hour and the Japanese one double that.

The scientist with the Japanese watch then slowly raised his head and said, "Both watches are now defective but my watch is right more often than yours, so it's better." The scientist with the Swiss watch left the room without saying a word.

Was the man with the Japanese watch right? If so, how?

1.What were they arguing about at the beginning of the story?

2.Why couldn't they go on with the experiment after they took the watches out of the water?

3.What did they do for a couple of hours?

4.What did they realize the Swiss watch was doing?

5.If the Swiss watch was losing sixty minutes in sixty minutes in sixty minutes, was it

a)going forward?

b)stopped?

c)going backwards?

6.So how often in every 12-hour periods would the Swiss watch show the right time?

a)Once.

b)Twice?

7.How many minutes was the Japanese watch losing every hour?

8.If a watch loses 120 minutes every sixty minutes, is it

a)going forwards?

b)stopped?

c)going backwards?

9.How often in every 12-hour period will the Japanese watch show the correct time?

a)Once.

b)Twice.

10.Was the scientist right when he said, “But my watch is right more often than yours”?

11.Why is this absurd?

From “Challenge to think”

Now you could correct your answers with the following given ones.

1.The two scientists were arguing about whose watch was better.

2.They couldn’t continue the experiment because there was something wrong with both watches.

3.They observed the watches for a couple of hours without speaking.

4.They realize the Swiss watch was losing sixty minutes an hour.

5.(b) if a watch is losing sixty minutes in sixty minutes, it’s stopped.

6.(a) Once in every twelve hours the Swiss watch would show the right time.

7.The Japanese watch was losing 120 minutes every sixty minutes.

8.( c) It is going backwards if it loses 120 minutes every sixty minutes. In other words, every time a clock telling the correct time moved forward an hour, the Japanese clock moved back exactly an hour.

9.The Japanese watch will show the correct time twice in every 12-hour period, i.e.,every six hours.

10.The scientist with the Japanese watch was right when he said, “My watch is right more often than yours.”

11.Neither watch tells the correct time – they only show it. You wouldn’t know they were showing it without a third watch to refer to.

T h a n k s g i v i n g

Thanksgiving is a national holiday in the United States. It falls on the fourth Thursday of November, a different date every year.

Almost every culture in the world has held celebrations of thanks for a plentiful harvest. The American Thanksgiving holiday began as a feast of thanksgiving in the early days of the American colonies almost four hundred years ago.

In 1620, a boat filled with more than one hundred people sailed across the Atlantic Ocean to settle in the New World. This religious group had begun to question the beliefs of the Church of England and they wanted to separate from it. The Pilgrims settled in what is now the state of Massachusetts. Their first winter in the New World was difficult. They had arrived too late to grow many crops; and without fresh food, half the colony died from disease. The following spring, the Iroquois Indians taught them how to grow corn (maize), a new food for the colonists. They showed them other crops to grow in the unfamiliar soil and how to hunt and fish.

In the autumn of 1621, bountiful crops of corn, barley, beans and pumpkins were harvested. The colonists had much to be thankful for, so a feast was planned. They invited the local Indian chief and ninety Indians. The Indians brought deer to roast with the turkeys and other wild game offered by the colonists. The colonists had learned how to cook cranberries and different kinds of corn and squash dishes from the Indians. To this first Thanksgiving, the Indians had even brought popcorn.

In following years, many of the original colonists celebrated the autumn harvest with a feast of thanks. After the United States became an independent country, Congress recommended one yearly day of thanksgiving, for the whole nation to celebrate. George Washington suggested the date November 26 as Thanksgiving Day. Then in 1864, at the end of a long and bloody civil war, Abraham Lincoln asked all Americans to set aside the last Thursday in November as a day of thanksgiving.

Over the river, and through the woods

American children still sing song as they look forward to spending Thanksgiving with grandparents.

It was written around 1860 by Lydia Maria Child.

Over the river, and through the woods,

To grandmother's house we go;

The horse knows the way,

To carry the sleigh,

Through the white and drifted snow.

Over the river, and through the woods -

Oh, how the wind does blow!

It stings the toes,

And bites the nose,

As over the ground we go.

Play this game!

Fingers out

Two players stand facing each other, and each puts his right hand behind his back. Then they count together out loud, "one, two, three." At "three" they put out their right hands, either closed to make a first or with one or more fingers outstretched. They can stretch out one finger or two, three or four fingers, or hold their hand open so that all five fingers are outstretched.

At the moment they put out their hands, each one shouts a number. This number is his guess as to how many fingers will be shown on both hands.

The player who guesses the correct number of fingers or the closest number to it scores a point. The players write down the score, and the winner is the one who has the greatest number of points when it is decided to stop playing the game.

A curious little puzzle

You ask somebody to perform a series of apparently silly little sums, and from them you deduce two very real fact. This is what you fell him to do:

Then you ask him what the answer is, and when he says 415, you tell him that number of his house is 4 and his age is 15. The first figure supplies the number of the house and the last two his age.

If you know your friend's house-number, ask him of her to think of someone else's, and add in flat person's age.

УФЫЕУК

E A S T E R

The word ‘Easter’ comes from ‘Eastre’ or ‘Eostre’, the Anglo-Saxon goddess of the dawn whose spring festival was celebrated in April. Before the arrival of Christianity, people believed that the sun died in winter and was born again in spring; on the day of the spring equinox they would sing and dance as the sun rose in the sky.

Many countries took their name for Easter from the Jewish festival of Passover. The Passover Festival developed partly from the Feast of Unleavened Bread

when Jews would destroy the sour dough which was used like yeast to leaven bread, so that the produce of the year to come would be protected. The first sheaf of the newly cut barley was then presented to the priests as a thanksgiving. This feast became combined with another, called Pesach, when Jews would sacrifice a sheep or goat in the spring to give thanks. As a protection against bad luck, the shepherds’ tent posts were painted with the blood of the creature.

The name ‘Passover’ comes from the time when the Jews escaped the punishment received by the Egyptians for enslaving the Jews by painting sheep’s blood on their door posts during the Pesach festival. Nowadays, during the Passover Festival, Jews remember the day they escaped from slavery, whilst celebrating release from the grips of winter. They worship in the temple and celebrate at home. The day before Passover, homes are cleaned, leavened bread is thrown away and unleavened bread is baked in preparation for the feast.

The first Easter took place during the Passover feast, which is always celebrated at full moon, so to keep Easter Day on a Sunday it was decided that Easter should always be celebrated on the Sunday following the first full moon after the spring equinox (21 March).

EASTER TRADITIONS AND SYMBOLS THE CROSS

Christ was crucified on a cross, so the cross has come to have a special meaning to Christians. It represents Christ’s victory over death. It is a significant Easter symbol.

THE LAMB

Jesus was known as the Lamb of God. At one time, the Jews sacrificed a lamb during a Passover festival, and early Christians adopted this as a sign of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. Lamb is now a traditional Easter meal, and cookies and cakes are often made in the shape of a lamb for Easter.

EGGS

Of course, eggs represent new life. Long ago, some people believed that the earth was hatched from a gigantic egg! Eggs have been exchanged for centuries. Ancient Egyptians dyed eggs and gave them to friends as gifts. In England, friends wrote messages on colored eggs. The practice of coloring and exchanging eggs has been carried on in many parts of the world today.

EASTER RABBITS

In America and around the world, many children believe that the Easter bunny brings Easter eggs and hides them for finding on Easter morning. Where did this tradition begin? There are many different legends, but here is a popular one.

Long ago in Germany there lived an old, loving woman who adored children. Each year she would give children gifts to celebrate spring. One year she had nothing to give because she had grown very poor due to a great famine in the land. All she had were some eggs. She did not want to disappoint the children, so quickly before they arrived for their gifts, she colored the eggs and hid them in the grass. When the children arrived, she told them to run out into the lawn to find their gifts hiding there. Of course, the children ran into the yard in search of their surprise. Just as one of the children uncovered the eggs, a large rabbit hopped away. So the children thought that the rabbit had left the eggs for them! And ever since, children have searched for the eggs left by the Easter rabbit on Easter morning.

It is also true that in ancient Egypt the rabbit symbolized the moon. It also symbolized new life and birth. Because Easter’s date is determined by the moon, and

Easter occurs in the springtime, it was natural that the rabbit continued to be one of the symbols of Easter.

Games

Use the letters in the word “EASTER” to make as many different words as

possible.

1.___________ 2.___________ 3.___________

4._______________

Use the following code to learn the secret. Write the letters on the correct

lines.

Are you ready to hunt for Easter eggs?

REFERENCES

1.Archaeologists Are Detectives Who Dig in the Dirt, by Jeremy A. Sabloff, Newsday, 4, 1990.

2.Archaeology (Сборник текстов на английском языке), Из-во ‘Наука’, М.1985.

3.“Columbus in the capital”. Quincentenary Edition, Washington, 1992.

4.Current Anthropology, The University of Chicago Press, Vol.24, No 2, 1983.

5.Early Britain, by S.D.Zaitseva, M. 1981.

6.Encyclopaedia Britannica. Chicago, London, Torronto.

7.“National Geographic”, July 1994, January 1996.

8.Popular Phrases. Из-во ‘Просвещение’, Л. 1971.

9.Study UK. Issue 2:5, 1994.

10.The Civilization of the Renaissance in Italy, Jacob Burckhardt,

London, 1945.

11.The History of the USSR, by Alexeyev, M. 1975.

12.The Language Book, by Franklin Folsom.

13.“The Lay of the Warfare Waged by Igor”, preface to the book by D.Likhachev, Progress Publishers, 1981.

14.The Mycenaeans, by Lord William Taylour. Thames and Hudson Ltd. London, 1983.

15.Polybius and Rome’s Eastern Policy, by F.W.Walbank. London,

1963.

16.TOEFL, by M.A.Pyle, M.E.Munoz. Cliff Notes, Lincoln, Nebraska, 1982.

17.Treasures from Ukrainian Barrows, by A.Leskov. Из-во ‘Аврора’, Л., 1972.

18.What is Democracy? Us Informational Agency. October, 1991.

19.Е.А. Бонди, Учебник английского языка для студентов-историков. МГУ, 1977.

20.Книга для чтения по педагогике на английском языке. Из-во ‘Просвещение’, М. 1975.

21.Сборник текстов на английском языке. Из-во ‘Просвещение’,

М. 1979.

22.М.А. Шерешевская, Н.М.Эльянова, Учебник английского языка для филологов и историков. Ч.1.

ЛГУ, 1973.

23.American booklets /North Carolina Indians/. 1989.

24.English booklet /Sweat of the Sun - Gold of Peru/. 1990.

24.Periodicals: Moscow News, 1981, 1985.

English, 1994, 1995.

Herald Tribune, 1974.

Reader’s Digest, New York,

N.Y. 1976, 1978.

The Times, 1987.