Raising Kids

1. How will you show your child that you love him?

2. How do you build self-esteem in a toddler?  A pre-teen?  A teen-ager?

3. If your interactions with your child are not 80% positive, the relationship is at risk.  What games will you play with your child?  What activities can you share as he grows up?  How much time can you give to your child?

4. How will you instill values in your child?  Which is more important in this process, your words or your actions?

5. What is your TV policy?  Are there restrictions on hours per day, or channels, or shows?

6. Should the child be given an unconditional allowance, or will all funds be tied to chores, or other tasks?

7. What is your approach to discipline?  How do you set and enforce limits?  After you have answered this question in the abstract, the next section gives some concrete "what if" examples.

8. What will happen to your marriage once children are involved?  And yes, it does change.  Here is a humorous account of our sex life after kids.

What Do You Do When?

For each item below, the number is the approximate age of the child.

1. Your baby spits food out at the table, or tosses food off his plate.  Not out of anger or spite; he thinks it is a funny game.

2. She throws a hard wooden block across the room, in your general direction.

3. He refuses to put his puzzles away. He just doesn't feel like it.

4. She throws a ball across the living room (a forbidden zone) and breaks one of the many knickknacks on your shelf.

5. Once or twice a week he wakes up in the dead of night and calls for you.  He will not go back to sleep unless you sit with him, sometimes as long as an hour.  If you try to leave he cries and screams, or comes running into your room.

6. She strolls over to a friends house without permission or supervision, crossing a street in the process.

7. While grocery shopping, he covertly tosses his favorite candy bar into the basket.  You don't notice until you get home.

8. She asks why people have to die.  She wants to know when you are going to die, and when she is going to die.

9. He refuses to eat many of the meals you serve; especially your vegetable stir fries.  Of course he still wants his snacks and deserts.

10. She has lost all interest in her piano lessons (substitute your favorite instrument).  She avoids practice sessions using every trick in the book.

11. He wants a new bike, but you can't really afford one right now.

12. She wants to wear make-up to school.  Her best friend is wearing make-up.

13. He comes home smelling of cigarettes.  He denies it, but it is unmistakable.  There are none on him, and none in his room.  He must have borrowed some from a friend.

14. She brings home a C in a subject that she is pretty good at.  she should have obtained at least a B, perhaps an A.

15. He wants an after-school or weekend job to make some extra money, but he needs you to drive him to and from work.

16. She is on the high-school debate team, and wins the regional championships.  (It is just as important to reward as to punish; probably moreso.)

17. He has obviously had unprotected sex.  The girl is pregnant.

18. She doesn't want to go to the college you had hoped she would attend, but she still wants and needs your financial support.