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8 The Borg-Warner - knobs and knockers

The Indy 500 trophy is probably the biggest of them all, at nearly 1.65m and 50kg. It is so huge that you wouldn't even fit it in the boot of your average American family saloon, which is saying something.

It might also be the only trophy in which the winners get their faces etched on to the trophy (I'm prepared to be corrected on that one).

The overall effect is ... drum roll ... uuuuuugly. It's tempting to suggest that someone should knock all the knobbly bits off with a sledgehammer, until you find out that they are the sculpted faces of the winners.

The winners get to take away a little replica, which must be an enormous relief.

9 The America's Cup - breaking tradition

The Auld Mug is commonly referred to as the world's oldest sporting trophy and it represents a competition that has been filled with protest.

But yachting, New Zealand, the world weren't prepared for the sort that occurred in 1997, when a loony with a grudge and a sledgehammer walked into the Royal New Zealand Yacht Squadron and gave the trophy a right smashing.

Famous trophies have been subjected to all sorts of things over the years - some of which cannot be repeated in this family newspaper. But it's doubtful if one has ever been beaten up like this.

Months of painstaking work by the original makers in London - it was crafted in 1848 - put the cup back together again. No wonder America was so reluctant to let anyone else get hold of the America's Cup when it gets looked after like that.

10 The Also Rans

The Lance Todd Memorial Trophy - the man of the match award for English league's Challenge Cup final is named in honour of a former rugby player from Otahuhu who ended up playing for Wigan. Very romantic, but not sure why.

The Tri-Nations Cup: The original in 1996 was so big that even Sean Fitzpatrick had trouble lifting it up. Apparently the makers got the measurements wrong.

Acapulco Tennis Open: A boring silver pear with a tennis ball stuck to it leaves just one question - why?

Hamburg Tennis Open: A big silver whirly thing that looks like a fan. Being German, it probably works.

Croatian Open tennis title: Just can't describe this one but think two-dollar shop meets giant sink waste unit. No, make that one-dollar shop.

By Chris Rattue

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