Story Notes:

Yeah, I went there. I decided to try my hand at an mpreg fic. *sigh* My muse is hyperactive with a short attention span. Banner by Veestone!

Author's Chapter Notes:

Something's wrong, this Bill knows, but he can't figure out what. In the meantime thank goodness for pudding.

“Seriously, that smells gross.” Bill shook his head and wrinkled his nose. Tom shrugged, frowning at the plate of pasta before him.

“But you love pasta.”

“I’m not loving that.” He shook his head again and scooted away from Tom’s offensive smelling food.

“You’re being weird. You’ve been weird lately.” Tom mentioned quietly, twisting the rigatoni into the fork and shoving it into his mouth. Bill watched in horrid fascination before turning away.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Bill watched as Tom pulled the pepper shaker closer and doused his plate with it. That was the final straw. He got up and ran away with his hand over his mouth. Georg watched him leave worriedly; fork paused just before his mouth. He blinked and turned to Tom, finishing his bite.

“What’s with him?”

“I don’t know. He’s been saying he’s been feeling funny lately… I don’t know.” Tom shrugged and went back to eating, glancing out of the corner of his eye as Georg shrugged and left the table to go get some more food. He wondered what was going on with his little brother.

~*~

Bill took a deep breath and released it quickly, relieved to find his stomach had stopped heaving. This was getting to be ridiculous. Picking himself up from the floor, he gingerly made his way to the sink and brushed his teeth, desperate to get the taste of bile out of his mouth. Looking into the mirror he blanched at the dark circles under his eyes and the pale tone of his skin. It had been a long night and earlier that evening he’d gone to bed without dinner, complaining of a massive headache. In the middle of the night he awoke to crippling hunger and rooted around the bus’ fridge for something edible. The only thing that fit the description was a gyro that Tom had bought earlier that day when they stopped briefly in some town.

It didn’t look all that great but smelled heavenly, and Bill fell on it like he’d never eaten before in his life. For one blissful hour he was delightedly, comfortably full until it tried to come back up. Bill had barely made it to the bathroom in time. What was going on? He gave himself one more look in the mirror and turned off the light before exiting the small room.

He looked up and Tom was staring at him, waiting. “Shit Tom, you practically scared me.” He hissed, feeling dizzy briefly as the bus swayed. Tom put his hand on the wall to steady himself, but he didn’t look away.

“I’ve been watching you.” He said simply. Bill was tired and achy, and his stomach was hurting desperately. He did not want to play this game right now.

“You always watch me, remember?” Bill whispered, not wanting to wake someone up while they were having this conversation. “What’s new?”

“If there was something wrong, you’d tell me right?” Tom asked, suddenly unsure. Bill looked at him like he was crazy.

“Who else would I tell?”

“I don’t know.” Tom shrugged, rubbing his hands over his face. “I’m just… you’ve been throwing up a lot.”

“Trust me, I noticed.” Bill shrugged, mirroring his twin. “I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“Maybe you should go to the doctor?”

“No. Look, it’s not a big deal, probably some virus or something.”

“Maybe.” Tom didn’t look convinced and Bill’s heart warmed. He truly worried about him. Bill stepped up to Tom and nuzzled him gently. “I don’t like seeing you sick.” Tom whispered into Bill’s ear.

“I know. It’ll be over soon.”

“Yeah. Do you want some company tonight?” Bill pulled away and looked at his brother.

“We agreed it would be too risky.”

“I… I need to hold you tonight, that’s all.” Tom ran his hand up and down Bill’s arm. The small gesture radiated warmth and comfort to Bill’s roiling stomach and he sighed with pleasure.

“Okay. But not for long.” Bill said, pulling back and looking into Tom’s eyes. His brother agreed, and they climbed into Tom’s bunk, right below his. Bill allowed himself to be cradled, Tom curling around him from behind with effortlessness. Even though Bill was taller, when they lay like this together he always felt dwarfed.  Tom placed small kisses at the nape of his neck, running his hands comfortingly up and down his arm and before Bill realized Tom was rubbing lazy circles on his stomach, lessening the jumping of his muscles with sure strokes. Bill relaxed and in a few seconds he drifted off to sleep, content.

~*~

“It’s not possible that you’re losing weight, is it?”

Bill looked up from his magazine and frowned at David. “What?”

“Are you losing weight? I thought we went over this. You can’t be too skinny.” David sat down at the table across from him and Bill rolled his eyes, going back to the magazine.

“You know I eat David. You’re there half the time I do.” He said, flipping pages. “And what makes you think I’m losing weight?”

“Because that shirt you’re wearing used to be snug. Now it’s almost loose.” David put his hand on the magazine and forced Bill to look up at him. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah…” Bill said slowly, trying to tug the publication back from his manager’s grasp.

“Okay Bill. I’ve been noticing you’ve been kind of rundown lately. I’m just checking to make sure there’s nothing up. We’ve got a lot of things planned this tour, especially since the next one is coming almost back to back.”

“Yes David.” Bill patiently waited until his manager huffed and scooted out of the booth to towards the front of the bus. He didn’t know what to tell the man because he didn’t know what was going on himself. Bill found himself tired almost all the time, after concerts he wanted to curl up and sleep for a week, but then there were signings and pictures and a million other things that kept him from his bed.

And when they finally got on the bus… he couldn’t sleep. The constant rocking used to lull him when he was exhausted, but now it just annoyed him. His body was calling out for a stationary bed, but hotel’s were luxuries that were bestowed only when they had to be. Bill sighed and looked out the window.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing Gustav. You sound like David.” Bill turned to his friend with a rueful smile. The drummer blanched and sat across from him, opening a pudding cup.

“What did I ever do to you? Don’t ever say that.” Gustav smiled and licked the foil top. Bill glanced at the small dessert and perked up considerably.  “What? You’re acting like you’ve never seen pudding before.”

“What flavor is that?” He asked curiously.

“Banana… why?”

“Are there anymore?” Bill’s stomach growled and jumped happily at the thought of banana pudding. He could practically taste it.

“Nope, last one.” Gustav was alarmed at the sudden change in the younger teen’s behavior. “What’s wrong?”

“Ever stumble across something that sounded so good, and then it’s snatched away cruelly?” Bill couldn’t understand why he was feeling this deeply about a pudding cup. “I’m just… I don’t know.” He shook his head, trying to clear it. “Ignore me.”

“I’m sure I won’t have a problem with that.” Gustav frowned at the totally dejected look on Bill’s face and sighed, pushing the pudding cup over towards him.

Bill squeaked. “Are you sure?” He asked, sticking his finger in it and pulling out a dollop, sucking it into his mouth with gusto. Gustav nodded, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, I usually go for chocolate anyway. We have plenty of those.” He watched Bill try to eat the pudding without any utensils. “Why don’t I get you a spoon?”

Bill hummed happily, nodding. “Can you bring me like two of those chocolate pudding cups too?” Gustav laughed.

“Okay, but you’re going to be sick later.”

Quite the contrary. Two days later and he hadn’t thrown up once. Bill figured out pudding stayed down, and he bounced out of the bus at the next rest stop, determined to get more. Tom walked in behind him, desperate for another pack of cigarettes. He grabbed a pack and paid for them as Bill perused the pudding cup selection. When he made it over to his brother Bill was cooing happily as he tried to decide which one get, vanilla or butterscotch.

“I hate butterscotch.” Tom muttered, coming up behind him. Bill looked over his shoulder and smiled, rolling his eyes.

“You hate toffee, remember? Butterscotch is different, and besides, it’s for me not you.” He said, holding the packages out in front of him, still trying to make a decision.

“Get both.” Tom said, opening up his cigarettes and searching his big pockets for a lighter. “Gotta light?”

Bill shook his head. “You know I stopped carrying them.” Tom rolled his eyes. A couple of months ago David told Bill he had to cut back on smoking so he could keep his voice strong, and Bill had agreed, and used this new patch that was one hundred percent guaranteed to work. Tom didn’t think it was going to last. Two weeks into it Bill stopped smoking, especially when Tom read you couldn’t smoke and use the patch at the same time. Bill claimed the cravings stopped, and eventually Tom had to believe it was true since he stopped smelling like cigarettes.

“Just because you don’t smoke doesn’t mean you can’t make yourself useful.” He huffed, smiling as he found his Zippo. “I’m going outside.”

“Okay.”

“Just hurry up and pick one.” Tom rolled his eyes and walked outside, lighting up and inhaling the acrid smoke. Part of him mourned the fact that he couldn’t share this with Bill anymore, and the other part was damn proud he managed to kick the habit. But his twin never smoked like Tom did. For him it was mostly nerves. For Tom it was because he was nervous almost all the time. A few minutes passed as he watched their crew joke around and roughhouse, desperate from some breathing room before they had to get back on the road. What was taking Bill so long? He took one more drag and threw the cigarette on the ground, grinding it into nothing with the toe of his sneaker.

He walked back inside and huffed, laughing softly. “Bill, what are you doing?”

“I want pudding.” His twin replied, as if it were obvious. At four at a time Bill was transporting all cartons of butterscotch and vanilla pudding from the shelf to the register. Tom watched him for a moment and shook his head, going to the shelf and helping him gather up the last eight before accompanying him to the cashier. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Where are you going to store it all?” Tom asked, looking down and counting quickly. Twenty four cartons. That’s a lot of fucking pudding. “You really want all this?”

“Yes.” Bill whipped out his credit card and ID, smiling at the man to continue.

“Again, I ask where are you going to put it?”

“The cabinet above the refrigerator. No one uses it.”

“Because it’s fake Bill.”

“Really?” He asked, surprised.

“Yes.” Tom shook his head and leaned on the counter, looking up at his brother as he drummed his fingers against the surface impatiently. “Why are you buying all of this?”

“Because I can keep pudding down.” Tom blinked, rising to turn Bill around so he could see his face.

“Are you still sick?”

“I don’t know. I feel sort of fine. Just tired.” Bill shrugged, turning back to the cashier and accepting back his card and identification, signing the slip and handing it back. “And I haven’t had much of an appetite. Until pudding.”

“Until pudding.” Tom echoed, clearly disturbed. “I don’t think that’s normal Bill.” His twin turned to him in a huff.

“Remember when you decided all you were going to eat were peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?”

“Bill that was a long time ago!”

“That was five years ago.” Tom blushed as the man behind the counter smiled as he bagged the groceries.

“How about we don’t talk about this here?”

“How about we don’t talk about this at all? I want pudding, so sue me. It’s not a crime and it’s my fucking body.” Bill took a deep breath and rubbed his temples. “Look, I didn’t mean to snap.”

“You’re right, it’s your body.” Tom said hesitantly. Bill looked at him and nodded.

“I guess it is.”

Silently they picked up the bags and walked back to the bus. After a while they were finally on their way, but Tom couldn’t sleep. He was in the media room, staring out the window as some nameless town passed around them. He heard the door open but he didn’t turn around, too comfortable in his position to want to move.

“Hey, do you want to be alone?” Tom’s ear twitched as Bill broke the silence softly. He turned to glance backwards and shrugged.

“No, you can join me if you want.” He said as he turned back to the window.

“I do.”

“Then come on.” Bill slid into the booth and scooted around until he was pressed with his shoulder against Tom’s chest, staring up at him as he continued to watch the scenery pass.

“Are you mad at me?” He asked slowly, playing with the zipper on the hoodie Tom had yet to take off. It smelled of smoke and outdoors, and most of all his favorite scent, Tom.

“No. I just worry about you sometimes.” Tom looked down at him and sighed. “You know I worry.”

Bill nodded. “I wish you didn’t.”

“Kind of hard with you for a brother.” He teased, laughing softly as Bill punched him playfully in the stomach. “Seriously though, I don’t care if all you want to eat are peas. I just want you happy.” Tom kissed him on the forehead. Bill sighed and whimpered, squirming around. “What, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want a kiss there.” Bill tugged on the front of Tom’s hoodie.

“Really?” He leaned down and kissed him on the cheek.

“Tomi… not there either.” Bill pouted, causing Tom to laugh. He groaned as his twin kissed his nose and then his chin. “Nope, you’re way off base.”

“Really?” Tom pretended to have to think. “If not there, then were?” Bill rolled his eyes and scooted up, pressing his mouth against Tom’s gently. “There?”

“There.” Bill confirmed.

“Oh.” Tom allowed himself to be pulled forward, and he cupped Bill’s cheek as he kissed him firmly, licking Bill’s lips briefly before gaining entrance. They stayed that way for a few minutes, making out until Bill was happily breathless. “Better?” The smug tone in Tom’s voice made Bill chuckle.

“You’re always so good at that.” He admitted, closing his eyes and leaning his head against his brother’s chest. He could hear the rumble as he laughed silently.

“Trust me, you’re no slouch either.” Tom shifted in his seat, dismayed that a little kissing made him hard as a rock, but with Bill it didn’t take much. “God, I wish we were in a hotel…” He mumbled into Bill’s hair.

“Well, hate to disappoint you, but I’m too tired anyway.” Bill looked up at his brother apologetically. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t be.” Tom murmured, looking at the dark circles under his brother’s eyes. Over the past couple of weeks he could recall seeing Bill yawn at odd intervals, practically used up after a short interview and utterly exhausted after shows. It was a little worrying. He leaned down and kissed him again, this time with the intent to comfort. Bill sighed against his lips and wrapped his arms around Tom’s neck, pulling him closer. Even when they were children when Bill got sleepy he suddenly needed Tom around before he could drop off. “Why don’t you go back to your bunk?”

“Because I’m more comfortable here than in my bunk.”

“How’s your stomach?” Tom asked after a while.

“Quiet for once.” Bill was dropping off; Tom’s voice a lullaby to fall asleep to.

“Good. Bill, go to bed. You’ll regret it tomorrow.” He didn’t respond, just tightened his grip. Tom sighed, rubbing his hands up and down the side of Bill’s stomach, wondering what had his brother so exhausted. He listened as his twin’s breathing slowed and evened, and the hold Bill had on Tom’s neck loosened but still didn’t release him. Smiling to himself Tom closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep, which was quite normal with his security blanket in his arms.

Author's Chapter Notes:

It's not just a river in Egypt.

Bill spat into the toilet and frowned, flushing it quickly and wiping his mouth again. This was getting to be ridiculous. He rested his head against the door of the stall and sighed, willing his stomach to calm down again. Not even the idea of pudding could get it to relax, and he ended up bent over the toilet again, heaving although he seriously doubted if he had anything left.  When the latest bout of dry heaves finally ended, he moaned miserably, feeling sorry for himself.

“Bill?” He jerked and wiped his mouth again, throwing the piece of tissue in the bowl and flushing.

“Yeah?” Bill croaked, clearing his throat and making a face at the taste of bile. Honestly he should be getting used to it.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, Georg. What’s up?”

“Come out of the stall, that’s what up.” Bill sighed and rubbed his face, not caring that he was smearing his make up. He unlocked the door and stepped out, glancing briefly at his band mate before going to the sinks. “What’s been going on with you lately?”

“Don’t know.”

“Bill…” Georg hated seeing anyone he loved sick, and Bill was no exception. He knew unless he was forced he would continue to ignore whatever was going on until… until Georg didn’t know what would happen.  “When are you going to the doctor?”

Bill groaned and turned on the faucet, splashing cold water on his face and sputtering against the dripping water as he looked around for paper towels. “Damn it!” He said, feeling the empty holder. “What in the hell kind of bathroom is this, with no fucking paper towels?”

“Calm down, hold on.” Georg pushed off from the wall and went into a stall and brought Bill some toilet paper; grinning as he swiped at his face impatiently. “Better?”

“Yeah.” He confessed as he threw the soggy tissue away and went to walk out of the bathroom. Georg stopped him, pushing him back and looking him in the eye.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I did. I said it was better.” Bill wouldn’t look at Georg because he knew the real question.

“Yeah, try again.” He said, trying to be as stern as possible. Bill looked at him and cracked up, and he couldn’t help but follow. “Fine, I don’t do the whole ‘concerned parent’ thing well, but I am concerned. When are you going to the doctor?”

“I’m not Georg. We don’t have time.” Bill did not want to have this conversation right now, or ever really.

“Bullshit Bill. If something’s wrong with any of us David said he’d take care of it. You’ve just got to tell him that you’re not feeling good and he’ll put the brakes on and we’ll have you at the doctor in no time.”

“You know I don’t like doctors.”

“Is what you’re doing helping any?” Bill opened his mouth to retort but he had no recourse. “I’m serious Bill, you’ve been tired all the time and you’re eating weird. First pudding and now French fries with butter?” He blanched.

“Hey, it’s better than you think.” Bill said defensively, wondering what the odds of him getting any French fries before arriving at the hotel. They had just finished playing to a packed arena in Lisbon, and he was looking forward to the two days they were getting off. All he had to do was make it to the hotel.

“Yeah, I’ll take your word for it. Seriously Bill, you’ve got to do something, it’s not normal.”

“I know it’s not normal.” He said lowly. “How about this, I’ll look up my symptoms online, and if they come back really serious I’ll go to the doctor, okay?”

“Will you tell me what they are?” Georg asked, frowning. Bill’s definition of ‘serious’ was very different from most sane people.

“Maybe. If it’s serious enough.”

“Bill…”

“Georg…” He smiled and shrugged. “What do you want from me?”

“For you to feel better.” Georg said seriously. Bill sighed and smiled.

“Thanks Georg.”

“Yeah, whatever. We can’t have our lead singer sick, can we? Then Gustav and I will have to go to interviews and no one wants that.” He rolled his eyes and opened the bathroom door. Bill laughed and followed him out, surprised to find Tom leaning against the opposite wall.

“What was wrong?” He asked, leaning forward as he uncrossed his arms and came closer. “You’re make up is smudged.”

“He was telling me about the end of Titanic, and got all teary.” Georg said smoothly, brushing past the questing blond. Tom rolled his eyes.

“Not again.”

Bill pouted and shrugged. “It’s a sad movie.”

“Yes, it is a very sad movie.” Tom rolled his eyes again and smiled. “Come on, Saki is at the van.” Bill followed him, briefly catching Georg’s eyes and falling into step beside him as Tom walked ahead.

“Thanks.” He whispered, and Georg shrugged.

“Yeah, I thought you might need a bit of protection from Tom in Overprotective Mode.” Bill laughed.

“You have no idea. What are you guys up to tonight?”

“We’re hitting the clubs.” Georg whooped and immediately apologized as Bill winced. “Sorry, got excited there. I need some action, and while everyone is highly attractive, I want someone of the female persuasion to stare at for a while.”

“Is… Tom going with you guys?” Bill asked hesitantly, pulling out his sharpie and getting ready for the onslaught at the exit.

“He said he might.” He shrugged, searching his pockets. “Do you have another marker?”

“Of course.” Bill pulled out his extra from his back pocket and sighed again. “Georg?”

“Hmm?”

“Would you mind if I asked Tom to stay in with me tonight?” Georg looked up and nodded at Saki as he ushered them closer towards the door. Gustav and Tom were already waiting, talking animatedly about the night coming up.

“Well, I guess not. I mean, he’s really looking forward to it though. I’ll tell him you’re sick and he’ll stay, I'm sure.”

“No!” Gustav and Tom looked over at him and he blushed, hastily shaking his head. “No, I don’t want you to do that. You know what, it’s okay. I was just being silly for a second. You know how I get sometimes.”

“It’s okay Bill, because you are sick…” Georg held his hands up at the look he was receiving and grinned. “Fine, not another peep.”

“Thank you.” Saki motioned to two other men in their security team and the doors were opened. Let the brouhaha begin...

~*~

Bill looked up and smiled. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Tom smiled back and closed the door behind him. He hated when he was across the hall, because a connecting door was so convienent. “What are you up to tonight?”

“I’m going to sleep soon.” Bill yawned as if to illustrate the fact. “You have fun.” He said; holding out his arms as Tom sat next to him on the bed.  Bill laughed as Tom pulled him into his lap and buried his nose in Bill’s neck.

“Are you okay?” It was muffled, but Bill understood him.

“Just tired…”

“Okay. Do you want me to stay here?” Bill shook his head, running his hands along Tom’s cheeks. “You know I will, right?”

“Of course.” He said seriously, leaning in and kissing him briefly. “But you know what we said.”

“Yeah…” Tom looked away as he rubbed his hands up and down Bill’s sides. “Yeah, I know.”

“Okay, good. Now go, before I change my mind.” He turned Tom’s face back towards his and kissed him again.

“I won’t be gone long. I think I’m kind of tired myself.” Bill looked at his twin suspiciously as he was gently placed on the bed.

“…Really.”

“You never know.” Tom said over his shoulder as he waved, leaving without another look back. Bill laughed, but then the door clicked and he was no longer in a good mood. Leaning back, he stared at the ceiling, wondering why all of a sudden he couldn’t sleep. Before he could stand up and get dressed there was a knock at his door and Bill looked over at it, frowning. Tom didn’t knock, and neither did Gustav if he knew Bill was awake.

“Come in!” He yelled, hoping it was loud enough for the person on the other side to hear. The door opened and Georg stuck his head in, dressed to go out. “Hey.”

“Hey. Did you do it?” Bill frowned.

“What?”

“Did you look up your symptoms?”

“Oh…” Bill winced and shook his head. “No, and I left my laptop on the bus. And no, I’m not going to go get it.” He said. Georg smiled and stepped further into the room with his laptop bag slung over his shoulder. “Are you taking that to the club?” Bill asked pointedly, caught between wanting to laugh and being irritated.

“Yeah, because that’s what I love to do, check my email while some chick whispers in my ear.” He pulled it off and sat it on the chair. “You promised Bill.”

“Did I?” He pouted, picking at the comforter beneath him.

“Yes you did. Besides, that pout only works on Tom and the rest of the world.” Georg laughed and left, leaving Bill to huff yet again. He rolled over and stared at the offending bag, wondering why he didn’t just get up and get it over with. Georg could be such a nag when he felt he had cause… Besides, it would be nice to put a name to what he was feeling.

“Fine…” He said to the air, rolling up to a standing position and stretching. He would go ahead and do it now, before Charlie’s Angels came on and he fell asleep to it. Bill set up the laptop quickly, and went to a widely used medical website. He brushed his teeth and brushed out his hair again before sitting before it, curling his legs up and placing the machine on his legs. Okay, what’s wrong… “I cannot need to go to the bathroom again.” He rolled his eyes and moved the computer out of the way as he dashed to the bathroom. When Bill came back that was the first thing that he typed into the little box.

“Nausea… vomiting… sensitivity to smells… headaches… frequent urination…” Bill spoke aloud as he typed. “Is that it?” He groaned and rubbed his stomach until an unexpected bout of nausea passed. “Ugh, isn’t that enough?” He pressed enter and waited for the site to do the rest. He clicked on the results and an eyebrow rose.

Then both.

The shaky laugh came out by itself as he stared at the screen. This could not be real. Something had to have been crossed; he must have gotten someone else’s result. But he knew that’s not how websites worked. A headache came out of the woodwork and he closed the laptop, pushing it out of his lap and curling up on the bed. He laughed again and shook his head; he must be crazy to even give it a moment’s thought. It was a mistake, a stupid mistake.

Bill closed his eyes and debated about getting under the covers when someone knocked on his door yet again. “Yeah?!” He asked, trying not to sound as irritated as he felt.

“Room Service!” His stomach growled and he practically bounced to the door.

“Hi! I forgot I ordered anything!” Bill smiled as he opened the door, stepping out of the way so the cart could make it through.

“You still want it sir?” The man asked, revealing his meal from underneath the domed lid. Bill smiled down at the mound of fries and sauce bowl full of melted butter beside it.

“Oh yes.” He breathed, trying not to dance around. The man chuckled and wheeled the tray to the small table near the balcony, arranging the plate with cutlery with a flourish. Bill did dance then, pulling out a ten euro bank note from his pocket and handing it to the man. If he’d had a hundred on him he probably would have given it to him. The man nodded and thanked him as he quickly exited. Bill dumped the butter on the fries and was happily chewing when he stopped and looked at what he was eating. The website that had obviously given him the wrong result mentioned something about cravings for strange food.

He looked over at the bed and frowned. The laptop was where he left it. Stuffing a few more fries into his mouth Bill went back and picked it up, opening the machine and daring it to say the same thing. He brought it over to the table and read while he ate, hair standing up on the back of his neck. This was crazy and it couldn’t be right and… did he have to go to the bathroom again? Bill wiped his mouth on the napkin and ran into the bathroom.

When he got out he ran to his bag and pulled out his phone, dialing Saki’s number. It rang twice, and Bill had to swallow quickly because he’d stuffed more fries into his mouth while he was waiting. “Saki, I need to go to a drugstore. No, nothing’s wrong. I just need more makeup remover. No, I want to get it myself. Okay, I’ll be ready.” He hung up the phone and nodded to the laptop. “This is dumb as hell, and I’m just doing this to prove you wrong.” Bill told the computer. He felt inexplicably better because for some reason as he glared at the machine he imagined it looked somewhat offended.

~*~

“I’m sure.” Tom smiled at the blonde, taking another swallow of his drink. She laughed prettily and Georg punched him in the shoulder. He hissed, because it was like being hit with a brick. Gustav, sitting across from him, looked sympathetic. Georg always got friendly and punchy when he was getting close to drunk.

“Man, I am looking forward to these days off.” Gustav rumbled, slouching in the booth and staring at the ceiling. The redhead next to him draped herself across his midsection, pulling him in a scorching kiss. When they pulled apart Georg and Tom were clapping, and Gustav was breathing heavily. “I’m looking forward to seeing you naked too.” He said.

“I had no idea you were like this.” She said, biting her lip and blushing. Georg crowed.

“Tell her Gustav, still waters run deep.” The whole table laughed as the drummer flipped him off before being happily pulled into another round of kisses. Georg had his own blonde nuzzling against him; his current distraction was a lot quieter than either of theirs.

Tom turned back to his ‘date’ and smiled. “So…” He looked down at her drink. “You’re looking a bit empty. What’ll you have?”

“Whatever you’re drinking.” She chirped and only the gin in his stomach allowed him not to roll his eyes.

‘That’s original…’ “Okay, no problem.” Tom caught the eye of a waitress and raised his glass, pointing at it and signaling for two. She nodded and he turned back to the giggling girl next to him. “So, what brings you here to Lisbon?” He asked.

“Followed you guys from home. I live in Berlin.” She leaned in close, rubbing her nose against his. Tom knew it was supposed to be cute, but he could only think of Bill as she did it. That wasn’t good, they agreed.

“Nice to have some home fans in the crowd.” He smiled. She really was pretty, even if he didn’t remember her name.

“Anna, do you have my purse?” His blonde frowned and pulled away, glaring at her friend that was currently sitting on Gustav’s lap.

“It’s on your shoulder.” She said, turning back to Tom.

“So, Anna, did you like the show?” He asked, cheering his good luck. She nodded, leaning in close again.

“I always like your shows.”

“My show?”

“Yes, you’re the only one I watch up there.” Anna whispered, and Tom watched her tongue dart out from between her impossibly pouty lips and decided to go for it. They had agreed it was better this way. He pressed his lips to hers, and found her quite talented, pulling Anna closer as she pressed her hands against his shoulders. When they pulled apart he knew she was gone, and he sighed, wondering why he felt so off. ‘More off than normal’ he corrected in his head.

“Why don’t we go up to my hotel room so we can talk?” Tom asked, brushing a finger along the side of her face and down her neck. Her shiver was different from Bill’s. Not as satisfying.

“Sure…” Anna breathed, looking over at her friends. “They’ll be fine, right?”

“It looks like we might all end up in the same place anyway.” He reassured, pulling her out of the booth without another look back. It was time to harden his heart a little.

~*~

“Is there a problem?”

Bill pouted from behind his large designer sunglasses and crossed his arms. There was a reason why Saki never spoke much. It was because everyone always stopped to watch the mountain of a man speak. It was subconscious and no one was immune. Well, except Gustav. Gustav did whatever he wanted, when he wanted. “I can go in alone.”

“It’s almost midnight.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“It’s almost midnight.”

“I can do my own shopping.” Bill smiled and cocked his head, hoping to melt the larger man slightly. Saki looked down at him and frowned, thinking for a moment.

“It’s almost midnight.” Bill wanted to scream.

“Fine, but can you not follow me around the store? Just… stand by the door or something? I want some privacy.”

“Fine.” Saki moved away from the door and Bill got out, looking around the practically deserted parking lot. Actually there was no one there but one car, and from the looks of it the lone person working the store was the owner. Bill sighed as they went from outside to in, blanching at the taste of conditioned air as Saki remained at the door as he asked, nodding severely at the woman behind the counter.

Bill walked down the aisles, picking up some makeup remover, grabbing some extra nail polish remover while he was at it. He looked over the shelves to the home pregnancy tests, trying to work up the courage to go over there. His head hurt just thinking about it, so he ducked his head and continued like he was browsing. The candy aisle lifted his spirits, and he absently grabbed four snickers bars before finally making it over to what he came for.

His eyes widened as he realized there were so many. Which one to get? He glanced up and saw Saki looking back at him. Bill knew he was blushing, but he wasn’t going to come away empty handed. How many different ways can a person find out their pregnant? One came with its own timer, another turned colors and still more made music. Music. He smiled and picked one up, frowning as he read the song. William Tell Overture? No thank you… Bill put it back on the shelf and moved on, stopping in front of a plain box. Plus if you’re pregnant, minus if you’re not. Simple and to the point.

He needed simple right about now.

Picking it up, Bill stuffed it in the middle of all his purchases and went to the cashier, leaning on the counter in a way so Saki couldn’t see his purchases. The woman smiled briefly at him and started ringing him up, and he wondered for the umpteenth time how could he actually entertain these thoughts. “For the girlfriend?”

He blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

“For the girlfriend?” The woman lifted the box and smiled. “You’re a bit young, aren’t you?”

“No, you’re just old.” He snapped, snatching the box out of her hand and slamming it into the bag. The woman glared at him and they didn’t exchange any more pleasantries as he paid for his purchase, glad to be out of there. Bill didn’t talk again until he thanked Saki as he climbed out of the car, and clutched his bag to his chest until he made it back to his room.

He threw the bag on the bed as if it had burned him, and laughed at himself and the whole stupid situation. This was crazy. Bill shook his head and went to pick up his remote, but then he remembered the snickers inside the bag and he really wanted one. Or two. Hell, maybe even all four. He rummaged around the bag and stopped as his hand hit the box.

Bill pulled it out and looked at it, reading the directions absently as he opened the snickers. What could it hurt? He’d get a laugh and it would quiet the unsettled feeling in his stomach, no matter how crazy this all was. And it was.

Crazy.

He smiled and shrugged, taking a huge bite of the candy bar and walking to the bathroom. Five minutes later if anyone else had been in the room they would have heard a surprised wail. “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!”

Author's Chapter Notes:

Because everyone knows if you don't believe it, that makes it not true.

Bill stared up at the ceiling from the bathroom floor and sighed. It was a fucking plus. He had spent the past two hours lying on the tiled floor alternating between laughing his head off and staring at the offending stick in confusion. The box offered nothing beyond what he already knew. Plus meant pregnant, minus meant not.