Interior, ramp

As the number finishes a baldheaded man, (he is the T.V. DIRECTOR) storms

down the ramp that leads from the control box under the Dress Circle.

DIRECTOR: (with over-exaggerated calm) Alright I'm sorry and let's hear

no more about it. If that's your opinion you're probably right. Look, if

you think I'm unsuitable let's have it out in the open, I can't stand

these back-stage politics.

By the end of this speech he is standing in front of JOHN who takes the

scene in his stride.

JOHN: Aren't you tending to black and white this whole situation?

DIRECTOR: Well, quite honestly I wasn't expecting "a musical arranger" to

question my ability... picture-wise.

JOHN: (to the others) I could listen to him for hours.

PAUL: [Heave too]What's all this about a musical arranger?

DIRECTOR: Mr. McCartney Senior!

The BOYS have a giggle at the very idea and at this moment GRANDFATHER

appears from behind the DIRECTOR.

GRANDFATHER: Pauly, they're trying to fob you off wid this musical

charlatan but I've given him the test.

DIRECTOR: (bravely) I'm quite happy to be replaced.

GRANDFATHER: (indicating the director) He's a typical buck-passer.

DIRECTOR: I won an award.

JOHN: A likely story.

DIRECTOR: It's on the wall in my office.

At this moment NORM comes on the stage, confident, cigar in mouth and

serene.

NORM: Hello our lot, everyone happy?

The BOYS, the DIRECTOR, FLOOR MANAGER and GRANDFATHER turn on him and

stare silently.

NORM: All right, all right. If you don't need this lot, I'll lock 'em up

In the dressing room till you do.

DIRECTOR: Please do, I'll not need them for [fifteen minutes] (half an

hour). Thank you.

He glares at GRANDFATHER who glares right back. The DIRECTOR walks away

with the FLOOR MANAGER pacifying him.

DIRECTOR: Give me a bottle of milk and some [Oblivon] (tranquilizers).

Oh, it's a plot, I see it now, it's all a plot.

(FLOOR MANAGER: Tranquilizers... )

They go left towards the backstage.

NORM: (producing key) Now, come on, I've got the key.

He leads the lads off right. RINGO is last as he is putting his drum

sticks down safely.

NORM and the BOYS turn on him.

NORM: Come ahead, Ringo. [Let's have you.]

[JOHN: Come on speedy!]

[PAUL: Ringo!]

[GEORGE: Wake up!]

RINGO glares at him and follows quickly. As the BOYS move off after NORM,

they pass the next act waiting for rehearsal. It is an elegant man in

full tails suit meticulously adjusting his cufflinks. Beside him is a

free-standing sign reading "Leslie Jackson and his ten disappearing

doves." The BOYS pass him and go through the door. GRANDFATHER stops and

looks at the performer with respect.

GRANDFATHER: [I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed your act.] (Leslie

Jackson! I saw your father in the old empire in 1909. If you're as good

as him son, you're all right.) He slaps the man on the back with happy

camaraderie. There is the sound of a dove, a few feathers fall out of the

sleeve of the man's coat and he and GRANDFATHER look down at the floor.

The man glares at GRANDFATHER, takes out a pen from his pocket, crosses

out "10" on his sign, and writes "9" in its place, puts the pen back in

his pocket [and starts towards the centre stage putting on a false

performer's smile as he does.]