VI. Preventing Intercultural Incompetence

1. Deal with communication apprehension, fear of communicating (James McCroskey): For this purpose: (a) develop competent communication plans; (b) plan specific moves to combat your anxiety; (c) plan for contingencies; (d) at any time get ready to use several moves and several scenarios. Deeply entrenched CA is a psychological problem.

2. Overcome shyness and loneliness.

Richard Daly (Michael’s Sound Bite 8-3): Overcoming shyness: (a) figure out what causes shyness and practice mental mantras that will help you in these situations; (b) build your confidence by stating what you know well, learn more things every day; (c) learn to look and act approachable; (d) set clear SMART goals for yourself; (e) make new friends; (f) try and do things you had never done before; (g) do not compare yourself to others; (h) follow the rules but do not overdo it (From http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Shyness)

Deeply entrenched shyness is a psychological problem.

(Michael’s Sound Bite 8-4): Overcoming loneliness: (a) study in groups; (b) take walks with someone; (c) find a new special someone; (d) focus on tasks instead of people, don’t get anchored to people who can’t always be with you; (e) start a project with someone. http://www.2knowmyself.com/loneliness/overcoming_loneliness

Deeply entrenched loneliness is a psychological problem.

DISCUSSION STARTER 6: In what ways, if any, has shyness affected your communication? Your relationships? Has shyness ever led you to become lonely? What communication plans might help you overcome shyness and alleviate loneliness?

3. Overcoming defensiveness

Defensiveness refers to providing incompetent messages in response to suggestions, criticism and perceived slights. James Alexander: Defensiveness comes in four types: (a) dogmatic messages (I am always right); (b) superiority messages (I have special knowledge, ability and status, higher than my interlocutor); (c) indifference messages (suggestion is irrelevant, uninteresting, unimportant); (d) control messages (squelching criticism by controlling the individual or the context.

Defensiveness is instinctive. Therefore: (a) practice preventive anger management strategies (encounter avoidance or restructuring); (b) use reappraisal and the Jefferson strategy; (c) check perceptions; (d) use rhetorical, not conventional or expressive messages.

Deeply entrenched defensiveness is a psychological problem.

DISCUSSION STARTER 7: Recall a situation in which you were offered a suggestion, advice, or criticism and you reacted defensively. What caused your reaction? What were the outcomes of your defensive communication? How could you haveprevented a defensiveresponse?

4. Overcoming verbal aggression

Dominic Infante: Verbal aggression is the tendency to attack others’ self-concepts rather than their positions in conversation. Verbally aggressive people: (a) denigrate other people’s character, abilities or physical appearance; (b) use profanities; (c) express aggression through behaviors, such as mocking, making rude gestures, or assaulting.

Aggression stems from several factors: (a) is a temporary mental state due to stress, exhaustion, frustration or anger; (b) helps us achieve short-term goals; (c) appears effective in retrospect and analysis of other people’s behavior.

Therefore, to combat aggression you must address root causes: (a) is it stress from the job, a troubled relationship or a family conflict? (b) is it related to chronic hostility?

Dominic Infante: Tips for handling aggression: (a) avoid teasing, baiting or insulting; (b) minimize contact with the aggressive person; (c) remain polite, express empathy, do not attack; (d) end the interaction.

Often-occurring and abusive verbal aggression may present a psychological and/or a legal problem.

DISCUSSION STARTER 8: Think of encounters you’ve had with verbally aggressive people. How have you handled them? Did your approach work? What alternatives might have produced better results?