I can't move. I can't breathe. I need my fairy god­mothers, quick.

Laurel shoots me a horrified look.

Christina puts down her champagne glass.

‘Code red. Code red,’ I hear Robyn’s voice crackling from the bouquet. ‘Urgent. Code red.’

Now Alicia’s walking around the dance floor, taking her time, relishing the attention.

‘The truth is,’ she says pleasantly, ‘this is all a bit of a sham. Isn’t it, Becky?’

My eye flickers behind her. Two burly minders in DJs are approaching the dance floor. But they’re not going to get there in time. It’s all going to be ruined.

‘It all looks so lovely. It all looks so romantic.’ Her voice suddenly hardens. ‘But what people might like to know is that this so-called perfect Plaza wedding is actually a complete and utter... arrrgh!’ Her voice rises to a scream. ‘Put me down!’

I don’t believe it. It’s Luke.

He’s calmly walked up to her and hoisted her up onto his shoulder. And now he’s carrying her out, like a naughty toddler.

‘Put me down!’ she cries. ‘Someone bloody well help me!’

But the guests are starting to laugh. She kicks Luke with her pointy boots, and he raises his eyebrows, but doesn’t stop striding.

‘It’s a fake!’ she shrieks as they reach the door. ‘It’s a fake! They’re not really–’

The door slams, cutting her off, and there's a silent, shocked moment. No-one moves, not even Robyn. Then, slowly, the door opens again, and Luke re­appears, brushing his hands.

‘I don’t like gatecrashers,’ he says dryly.

‘Bravo,’ shouts a woman I don’t recognize. Luke gives a little bow, and there’s a huge, relieved laugh, and soon the whole room is applauding.

My heart is thumping so hard I’m not sure I can keep standing. As Luke rejoins me, I reach for his hand and he squeezes mine tightly. I just want to go now. I want to get away.

There’s an interested babble around the room, and, thank God, I can hear people murmuring things like ‘deranged’ and ‘must be jealous’. A woman in head-to-toe Prada is even saying brightly, ‘You know, exactly the same thing happened at our wedding–’

Oh God, and now here come Elinor and Robyn, side by side like the two queens in Alice in Wonderland.

‘I’m so sorry!’ says Robyn as soon as she gets near. ‘Don’t let it upset you, sweetheart. She’s just a sad girl with a grudge.’

‘Who was that?’ says Elinor, with a frown. ‘Did you know her?’

‘A disgruntled ex-client,’ says Robyn. ‘Some of these girls become very bitter. I’ve no idea what happens to them! One minute they’re sweet young things, the next minute they’re throwing lawsuits around! Don’t worry, Becky. We’ll do the exit again. Attention, orchestra,’ she says urgently. ‘Reprise “Some Day”, at the signal. Lighting crew, stand by with emergency rose petals.’

‘You have emergency rose petals?’ I say in disbelief. Sweetheart, I have every eventuality covered.’ She twinkles at me. ‘This is why you hire a wedding planner!’

‘Robyn,’ I say honestly. ‘I think you’re worth every penny.’ I put an arm round her and give her a kiss. ‘Bye. And bye again, Elinor.’

The music swells through the air again, we start processing again, and more rose petals start cascading from the ceiling. I really have to hand it to Robyn. People are crowding around and applauding – and is it my imagination, or do they look a bit friendlier, following the Alicia incident? At the end of the line I spot Erin leaning eagerly forward, and I toss my bouquet into her outstretched hands.

And then we’re out.

The heavy double doors close behind us and we’re in the silent, plushy corridor, empty but for the two bouncers, who stare studiously ahead.

‘We did it,’ I say, half-laughing in relief; in exhilar­ation. ‘Luke, we did it!’

‘So I gather,’ says Luke, nodding. ‘Well done us. Now, do you mind telling me what is going on?’