- •I type a full stop, take a sip of coffee, and turn to the second page of the press release.
- •Extract 2
- •Extract 3
- •I should say something. I should say, “Janice, I don’t fancy Tom. He’s too tall and his breath smells.” But how on earth can I say that?
- •Extract 4
- •I’m absolutely stunned. I’ve never seen anything like this at a press conference. Never!
- •I head toward the back to get another cup of coffee, and find Elly standing by the coffee table. Excellent. I haven’t seen Elly for ages.
- •I’m sorry, but I can’t go and sit back down there. I have to hear about this.
- •Extract 5
- •I stare at him blankly.
- •I have never before worked so hard on an article. Never.
- •I can’t do this. I can’t speak to Luke Brandon. My questions are jotted down on a piece of paper in front of me, but as I stare at them, I’m not reading them.
- •I’ll show Alicia, I think fiercely. I’ll show them all, Luke Brandon included. Show them that I, Rebecca Bloomwood, am not a joke.
- •Extract 6
- •Extract 7
- •It’s basically my idea of heaven.
- •I close my eyes and, after a few seconds, feel a cool, creamy liquid being massaged into my face. It’s the most delicious sensation in the world. I could sit here all day.
- •I almost want to laugh at the incongruity of it. What’s she doing here? What’s Alicia Bitch Long-legs doing here, for God’s sake?
- •Is that me? Oh God, I don’t want to be a leading industry expert. I want to go home and watch reruns of The Simpsons.
- •I look around for support and see Rory gazing blankly at me.
- •I watch in a daze as he picks his way across the cable strewn floor toward the exit, half wishing he would look back.
- •Extract 8
- •Extract 2
- •Extract 3
- •Extract 4
- •Extract 5
- •I’ll just have a really quick look.
- •I mean, what is wrong with these people? Are they complete philistines?
- •Extract 6
- •It’s only as we're approaching a department entitled ‘Gift Wrapping’ that I realize what’s going on. When I said ‘gift’, she must have thought I meant it was an actual–
- •I take the card from her, and as I read, my skin starts to prickle with excitement.
- •Extract 7
- •I stare at him, agog.
- •I can’t tell him I’ve actually got three. And two on hold at Barneys.
- •Extract 2
- •I wish bridesmaids got to say something. It wouldn’t have to be anything very much. Just a quick ‘Yes’ or ‘I do’.
- •I’ve always been a teeny bit awkward around Tarquin. But now I see him with Suze – married to Suze – the awkwardness seems to melt away.
- •Extract 3
- •I glance into the mirror, feeling quite grown-up and proud of myself. For once in my life I’m not rushing. I’m not getting overexcited.
- •I remember that cake. The icing was lurid green and the lawnmower was made out of a painted matchbox. You could still see ‘Swan’ through the green.
- •I have never worn anything less flattering in my life.
- •Extract 4
- •Extract 5
- •Extract 6
- •Extract 7
- •I’ll be a grown-up, go along to the cake studio and break the news to her face to face.
- •I had no idea wedding cakes could be anything like this. I flip through, slightly dazedly, looking at cake after spectacular cake.
- •I can see Alicia’s brain working hard.
- •I can see Robyn and Antoine exchanging looks, and I’m dying to ask them what they think of Alicia. But... It wouldn’t be becoming in a bride-to-be.
- •If I’m really honest, hand on heart – I feel exactly like someone who’s going to have a huge, luxurious wedding at the Plaza.
- •I put the invitation into my bag and snap the clasp shut, feeling slightly sick.
- •I look at him, my attention finally caught.
- •Extract 8
- •I stare at him in utter stupefaction. What does he think he’s doing?
- •I stare at him in horror.
- •I follow his gaze, and see Danny’s brother Randall walking across the floor towards us.
- •Extract 9
- •I stare at her, momentarily halted.
- •I stare at the page, my heart pounding. It’s a typed sheet, headed terms of agreement. I look straight down to the dotted line at the bottom – and there’s my signature.
- •I haven’t said a word about anything to Luke. In The Realistic Bride it says the way to stop your fiance getting bored with wedding details is to feed them to him on a need-to-know basis.
- •I feel a stab of shock.
- •Extract 10
- •I put the phone down and smile at Robyn, who’s wearing a bright pink suit and a headset and carrying a walkie-talkie.
- •In fact, it’s completely true. I’m beyond nervous. Either everything goes to plan and this all works out. Or it doesn’t and it’s a complete disaster. There’s not much I can do about it.
- •I’ve never seen a wedding dress like it. It’s a work of art.
- •Extract 11
- •I reach out and hug her tightly.
- •I can't move. I can't breathe. I need my fairy godmothers, quick.
- •I don’t believe it. It’s Luke.
- •Extract 12
- •I feel a huge spasm of nerves as I see the familiar sign. We’re nearly there.
- •I’m getting married. I’m really getting married.
- •I freeze in terror, one foot inside the car. What’s happened? Who’s found out? What do they know?
- •I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.
- •I feel a spasm of nerves inside. Here it comes. The last bit of my plan. The very last cherry on top of the cake.
- •Extract 2
- •Extract 3
- •Extract 4
- •Extract 5
- •Extract 6
- •Extract 7
- •Extract 8
- •Extract 9
- •Extract 10
- •Extract 11
- •I’m fantastically well-organised, basically. And very self-disciplined. The early bird catches the modeling contracts, after all.
- •Extract 13
- •I am such a deluded moron.
- •Extract 2
- •I draw myself up short with a jolt. “I’m sorry,” I say, and exhale sharply. “You don’t want to hear all this.”
- •Extract 3
- •I bet they do.
- •I was so totally mortified, I never told anyone. Especially not Mum and Dad.
- •Extract 4
- •Extract 5
- •I don’t think so.
- •Extract 6
- •Extract 7
- •I watch in total disbelief as Jack settles comfortably down on the rug. He was supposed to be rescuing me from all this. Not joining in. Slowly I sink down beside him.
- •I stare at her blankly. Since when have Kerry and I ever socialized together?
- •Extract 8
- •I am never visiting a zoo again.
- •Revenge is Sweet (by c. Fremlin)
- •It worked like a dream, exactly as she’d planned.
- •The Way up to Heaven (by r. Dahl)
- •For Services Rendered (by j. Deaver)
- •I can help you and you can help me...
- •I can help you and you can help me...
- •Makeover (by b. Callahan)
- •Interrupting her in mid sob, Monty said, “Hold on there, Steph. Gotta pay our bills. Time for a commercial.”
I put the invitation into my bag and snap the clasp shut, feeling slightly sick.
So this is it. New York it is.
Mum will understand. When I tell her all about it properly, she’ll come round. She has to.
Antoine’s new mandarin and lychee cake is fabulous. But somehow, as I nibble at it, my appetite’s gone.
After I’ve tried several more flavours and am no nearer a decision, Antoine and Robyn exchange looks and suggest I probably need time to think. So with one last sugar rose for my purse, I say goodbye and head to Barneys, where I deal with all my clients perfectly pleasantly, as though nothing’s on my mind.
But all the time I’m thinking about the call I’ve got to make. About how I’m going to break the news to Mum. About how I’m going to explain to Mum.
I won’t say anything as strong as I definitely want to get married in the Plaza. Not initially. I’ll just tell her that it’s there as a possibility, if we both want it. That’s the key phrase. If we both want it.
The truth is, I didn’t present it properly to her before. She’ll probably leap at the chance once I explain it all to her fully. Once I tell her about the enchanted forest and the string orchestra, and the dance band and the thousand-dollar cake. A lovely luxury wedding, all expenses paid! I mean, who wouldn’t leap at it?
But I feel sick with nerves as I climb the stairs to our apartment. I know I’m not being honest with myself. I know what Mum really wants.
I also know that if I make enough fuss, she’ll do anything I ask her.
I close the door behind me and take a deep breath. Two seconds later, the doorbell rings and I jump with fright. God, I’m on edge at the moment.
‘Hi,’ I say, opening the door. ‘Oh, Danny, it’s you. Listen, I need to make quite an important phone call. So if you wouldn’t mind–’
‘OK, I have to ask you a favour,’ he says, coming into the apartment and completely ignoring what I’ve just said.
‘What is it?’
‘Randall’s been giving me some pressure. He’s like, where exactly do you sell your clothes? Who exactly are your customers? Do you have a business plan? So I’m like, of course I have a business plan, Randall. I’m planning to buy up Coca-Cola next year, what do you think?’
‘Danny–’
‘So then he starts saying if I don’t have any genuine client base I should give up and he’s not going to subsidize me any more. He used the word subsidize! Can you believe it?’
‘Well,’ I say distractedly. ‘He does pay your rent. And he bought you all those rolls of pink suede you wanted...’
‘OK,’ says Danny after a pause. ‘OK. So the pink suede was a mistake. But Jesus! He just wouldn’t leave it alone. I told him about your dress – but he was like, Daniel, you can’t base a commercial enterprise on one customer who lives downstairs.’ Danny chews the skin on his thumb nervously. ‘So I told him I just had a big order from a department store.’
‘Really? Which one?’
‘Barneys.’
I look at him, my attention finally caught.
‘Barneys? Danny, why did you say Barneys?’
‘So you can back me up! If he asks you, you stock me, OK? And all your clients are falling over themselves to buy my stuff, you’ve never known anything like it in the history of the store.’
‘You’re mad. He’ll never fall for it. And what will you say when he wants some money?’
‘I’ll have money by then!’
‘What if he checks up? What if he goes to Barneys to look?’
‘He won’t check up,’ says Danny scornfully. ‘He only has time to talk to me once a month, let alone make unscheduled visits to Barneys. But if he meets you on the stairs, go along with my story. That’s all I’m asking.’
‘Well... all right,’ I say at last.
Honestly. As if I haven’t got enough to worry about already.
‘Danny, I really must make this call...’ I say helplessly.
‘So did you find somewhere else to live yet?’ he says, flopping down into an armchair.
‘We haven’t had time.’
‘You haven’t even thought about it?’
‘Elinor wants us to move to her building and I’ve said no. That’s as far as we’ve got.’
‘Really?’ Danny stares at me. ‘But don’t you want to stay in the Village?’
‘Of course I do! There’s no way I’m moving there.’
‘So what are you going to do?’
‘I... don’t know! I’ve just got too many other things to think about at the moment. Speaking of which–’
‘Pre-wedding stress,’ says Danny knowingly. ‘The solution is a double Martini.’ He opens up the cocktail cabinet and a sheaf of wedding-list brochures falls out onto the floor.
‘Hey!’ he says reproachfully, picking them up. ‘Did you register without me? I cannot believe that! I have been dying to register my entire life! Did you ask for a cappuccino maker?’
‘Er… yes. I tnink so–’
‘Big mistake. They’re never as good as the real thing. Listen if you ever want me to take delivery of any presents, you know I’m right upstairs...’
‘Yeah right.’ I give him a look. ‘After Christmas.’
Christmas is still a slightly sore point with me. I thought I’d be really clever and order a load of presents off the Internet. But they never arrived, so I spent Christmas Eve rushing round the shops buying replacements. Then on Christmas morning we went upstairs to have a drink with Danny and Randall – to find Danny sitting in the silk robe I’d bought for Elinor, eating the chocolates that were meant for Samantha at work.
‘Hey, what was I supposed to think?’ he says defensively. ‘It was Christmas, they were gift-wrapped... it was like, yes Daniel, there is a Santa Claus–’He reaches for the Martini bottle and sloshes some into the cocktail shaker. ‘Strong? Extra strong?’
‘Danny, I really have to make this phone call. I’ll be back in a minute.’