I had no idea wedding cakes could be anything like this. I flip through, slightly dazedly, looking at cake after spectacular cake.

‘If you do not want the traditional tiers, I can make for you a cake to represent something you love. A favourite painting... or a sculpture...’ He looks at me again. ‘A Louis Vuitton trunk, perhaps...’

A Louis Vuitton trunk wedding cake! How cool would that be?

‘Antoine? If you could just come here a moment?’ Robyn pokes her head out of a small meeting room to the right – and although she’s smiling, she sounds pretty harassed.

‘Excuse me, Miss Bloomwood,’ says Antoine apolo­getically. ‘Davina. Some cake for Miss Bloomwood to taste.’

A smiling assistant disappears through a pair of double doors – then returns with a glass of champagne, a china plate holding two slices of cake and a sugar lily. She hands me a fork and says, ‘This one is passionfruit – mango, strawberry and tangerine mousseline, and this is caramel creme with pistachio and mocha truffle. Enjoy!’

Wow. Each slice is a light sponge, with three different pastel-coloured fillings. I don’t know where to start!

OK... let’s go for mocha truffle.

I put a piece in my mouth and nearly swoon. Now this is what wedding cakes should all be like. Why don’t we have these in England?

I take a few sips of cnampagne, and nibble the sugar lily, which is all yummy and lemony – then take a second piece and munch blissfully, watching a girl nearby as she painstakingly makes a spray of lilies of the valley.

You know, maybe I should get Suze a nice cake for her baby’s christening. I mean, I’ll get a present as well – but I could always buy a cake as a little extra.

‘Do you know how much these cakes are?’ I ask the girl as I polish off the second slice.

‘Well... it really varies,’ she says, looking up. ‘But I guess they start at about a thousand dollars.’

I nearly choke on my champagne. A thousand dollars? They start at a thousand dollars?

For a cake?

I mean, how much have I eaten, just now? That must have been at least fifty dollars’ worth of cake on my plate!

‘Would you like another slice?’ says the girl, and glances at the meeting room. ‘It looks like Antoine is still held up.’

‘Ooh well... why not! And could I try one of those sugar tulips? You know. Just for research purposes.’

‘Sure,’ says the girl pleasantly. ‘Whatever you like.’

She gives me a tulip and a spray of tiny white flowers, and I crunch through them happily, washing them down with champagne.

Then I look idly around, and spy a huge, elaborate flower, yellow and white with minute drops of dew. Wow. That looks yummy. I reach over a display of sugar hearts, pick it up, and it’s almost in my mouth when I hear a yell.

‘Stooooop!’ A guy in whites is pounding across the studio towards me. ‘Don’t eat the jonquil!’

‘Oops!’ I say, stopping just in time. ‘Sorry. I didn’t realize. Is it very special?’

‘It took me three hours to make,’ he says, taking it gently from my hand. ‘No harm done, though.’ He smiles at me, but I notice there’s sweat on his forehead.

Hmm. Maybe I should just stick to the champagne from now on. I take another sip, and am looking around for the bottle, when raised voices start coming from the side room where Robyn and Antoine are closeted.

‘I deed not do this deliberately! Mademoiselle, I do not have a vendetta!’

‘You do! You bloody hate me, don’t you?’ comes a muffled voice.

I can hear Robyn saying something soothing which I can’t make out.

‘It’s just one thing after another!’ The girl’s voice is raised now – and as I hear it clearly, I freeze, glass halfway to my mouth.

I don’t believe it.

It can’t be.

‘This bloody wedding is jinxed!’ she’s exclaiming. ‘Right from the word go, everything’s gone wrong.’

The door swings open and now I can hear her properly.

It is. It’s Alicia.

I feel my whole body stiffen.

‘First the Plaza couldn’t fit us in! Now this fiasco with the cake! And do you know what I just heard?’

‘What?’ says Robyn fearfully.

‘My maid of honour dyed her hair red! She won’t match the others! Of all the bloody inconsiderate, selfish...’

The door is flung open and out stalks Alicia, her stilettos echoing like gunfire on the wooden floor. When she sees me, she stops dead and I look at her, my heart thumping hard.

‘Hi, Alicia,’ I say, forcing myself to sound relaxed. ‘Sorry to hear about your cake. That was delicious, by the way, Antoine.’

‘What?’ says Alicia blankly. Her eyes flash to my engagement ring, to my face, back to my ring, to my shoes, to my bag – taking in my skirt on the way – and finally back to my ring. It’s like the Manhattan Once-over in a hall of mirrors.

‘You're getting married?’ she says at last. ‘To Luke?’

‘Yes.’ I glance nonchalantly at the diamond on my left hand, then smile innocently up at her.

I’m starting to relax now. I’m starting to enjoy this.

(Also, I just gave Alicia the Manhattan Once-over myself. And my ring is a teeny bit bigger than hers. Not that I’m comparing or anything.)

‘How come you didn’t say?’

You didn’t ask, I want to reply, but instead I just give a little shrug.

‘So where are you getting married?’ Alicia’s old supercilious expression is returning and I can see her preparing to pounce.

‘Well... as it happens...’ I clear my throat.

OK, this is the moment. This is the time to make the big announcement. To tell Robyn I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to get married in Oxshott.

‘Actually...’

I take a deep breath. Come on. It’s like Elastoplast. The quicker I do it, the quicker it’ll be over. Just say it.

And I really am on the brink of it – when I make the fatal mistake of glancing up. Alicia’s looking as patronizing and smug as she ever did towards me. Years of feeling stupid and small well up in me like a volcano – and I just can’t help it, I hear my voice saying, ‘Actually, we’re getting married at the Plaza.’

Alicia’s face snaps in shock, like an elastic band.

‘The Plaza? Really?’

‘It should be rather lovely,’ I add casually. ‘Such a beautiful venue, the Plaza. Is that where you’re getting married?’

‘No,’ says Alicia, her chin rather tight. ‘They couldn’t fit us in at such short notice. When did you book?’

‘Oh... a week or two ago,’ I say, and give a vague shrug.

Yes! Yes! Her expression!

‘It’s going to be wonderful,’ puts in Robyn enthusi­astically. ‘I spoke to the designer this morning, by the way. He’s ordered two hundred birch trees, and they’re going to send over some samples of pine needles…’