Lesson 6 Compliments
In this lesson you study speech formulae of compliments and reacting to them and practice making compliments to each other.
Glossary:
A compliment
To make (smb) a compliment
To compliment smb on smth
To accept / to avoid / to deflect a compliment
Formula – formulas / formulae
Some traditional formulae for a compliment:
What I admire in you is...,
What I find attractive in you is...
I really respect your…
I don’t mind saying/telling you…
If you ask me…
I’ve been meaning to tell you…
Just between you and me…
What can you compliment a person on?
A compliment should be:
Cultural note: For Americans complimenting someone is a way of establishing contact, like talking about the weather for the British. Americans are often very direct and to the point, especially in giving compliments or expressing pleasure or positive emotions. Americans often tell each other how well or attractive they look. However, it is generally considered taboo to compliment someone on a specific body part. “You have great legs” or “You have a great figure” are not appropriate compliments.
Reacting to compliments:
-
Britain
USA
Accepting a compliment
rare (means you agree with the compliment, which is close to boasting)
“Thank you.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that.”
“Thank you; that's a really lovely thing to say.”
“Thanks - that makes me feel really good.”
“Thanks. That means a lot to me.”
“Thanks, you're a kind person.”
Avoiding acceptance:
“I got them at Primark.”
“My mother picked them out.”
“Do you think so?”
“It’s really quite old.”
Deflecting a compliment
“You're just saying that!”
“John, you look great. – Not at all, I look terrible.”
More frequent, though usually ironically.
For women it is customary to modestly deflect a compliment, then give a compliment in return.
Less frequent
Exercise 1.
Work in pairs. One person compliments the other on anything he/she sees fit. The compliments may be funny or silly, but not offensive. The other person responds, using different variants given above. Then switch the roles.
Exercise 2.
Look attentively at your partner on the left. Think of a trait of character or habit you like in him and what to compliment him on.
Do the exercise in a chain. The first person makes a compliment to the person on his left. The latter thanks the former, then makes contact with the person on his left and compliments him. The exercise is continued until all the group mates have exchanged compliments.
In constructing the compliments and answers make use of the expressions given at the beginning of the lesson and in the table.
Exercise 3.
In a chain, pass to each other an object. As you pass it, name a quality which, you think, is common between you and your partner.
Start with “Name, I think we have quality in common”, e.g.:
Peter, I think we have good communication skills in common.
The person receiving the object answers “I agree” or “I will think about it” (if he disagrees). Even if you disagree that you have the said quality, it is still useful to hear what we look like from other people’s point of view.
HOME ASSIGNMENT:
1) Invent one compliment for each of your group mates. When you make your compliments, the recipients should say what they feel when receiving such a compliment. The winner is the author of the best compliments. This can be done in writing on cards which then will be distributed among the addressees.
Get ready for the written Final Test 1 (Lessons 1-6) and Final Class 1 (Lessons 1-6)
Fill in the self-assessment grid.