серия 5

worried about you.

424

00:26:39,453 --> 00:26:41,603

Did you ever buy a lottery ticket?

425

00:26:41,813 --> 00:26:44,725

- What?

- Did you ever buy a lottery ticket?

426

00:26:44,933 --> 00:26:49,051

- A couple of times, maybe. Why?

- I buy them sometimes.

427

00:26:49,253 --> 00:26:52,006

Not that I think

I would ever win...

428

00:26:52,213 --> 00:26:57,003

...but I like to hold it

in my hand and think:

429

00:26:57,213 --> 00:26:58,885

"What if?"

430

00:27:00,013 --> 00:27:05,804

That's why I bought that contraceptive

jelly, I thought, "What if?"

431

00:27:06,013 --> 00:27:09,244

What if I'm walking down the street...

432

00:27:09,453 --> 00:27:14,243

...I march into somebody and we know

we're meant for each other...

433

00:27:14,453 --> 00:27:17,809

...and it's like Barbra Streisand

and Omar Sharif...

434

00:27:18,013 --> 00:27:22,928

...but instead of singing about it,

we go make passionate love.

435

00:27:25,613 --> 00:27:30,926

- Girls have dreams like that.

- But I doubt many buy the spermicide.

436

00:27:31,133 --> 00:27:34,170

It was my lottery ticket.

437

00:27:34,373 --> 00:27:37,922

It's come to that.

My lottery ticket is a tube of jelly.

438

00:27:41,933 --> 00:27:46,404

Remember that time in the dark,

we reached for it...

439

00:27:46,613 --> 00:27:49,810

...and grabbed the Crest.

- And you liked it.

440

00:27:50,013 --> 00:27:51,890

- You said I was...

- Minty.

441

00:27:54,253 --> 00:27:57,928

How did I get to be such a mess

so soon in my life?

442

00:27:58,133 --> 00:28:00,203

You've always been

ahead of your time.

443

00:28:07,133 --> 00:28:10,489

Tomorrow, you'll have to

make a summary statement.

444

00:28:10,693 --> 00:28:12,729

Apologize

for today's behavior.

445

00:28:12,933 --> 00:28:17,051

If you stay contained, respectful,

you'll be okay.

446

00:28:19,933 --> 00:28:22,322

- All right.

- Good night.

447

00:28:23,973 --> 00:28:28,524

- Try to get a good night's sleep.

- I will.

448

00:28:31,373 --> 00:28:32,362

Night.

449

00:28:40,413 --> 00:28:41,892

I'll be okay.

450

00:29:05,333 --> 00:29:07,403

Wrong chambers again, Happy.

451

00:29:07,613 --> 00:29:09,331

Oh, damn.

452

00:29:09,813 --> 00:29:12,691

I don't know why I keep

walking in a door too soon.

453

00:29:12,893 --> 00:29:15,771

One of these days I'm apt to come

in and catch you naked.

454

00:29:15,973 --> 00:29:18,089

And you'd just

ask to see my teeth.

455

00:29:18,293 --> 00:29:19,851

Good catching up with you.

456

00:29:20,053 --> 00:29:21,850

I have penile atrophy, you know?

457

00:29:22,053 --> 00:29:23,645

That's nice.

Good to see you.

458

00:29:23,853 --> 00:29:26,048

All right. See you.

459

00:29:27,533 --> 00:29:28,682

Wait.

460

00:29:28,893 --> 00:29:30,849

- Can I talk to you?

- Sure.

461

00:29:32,973 --> 00:29:35,282

You reported Ally McBeal

to the Bar?

462

00:29:35,493 --> 00:29:37,131

The potato-chip girl?

Pushy.

463

00:29:37,333 --> 00:29:41,804

- Do you think she's unstable?

- She seems to get violent.

464

00:29:42,013 --> 00:29:46,086

Word around here is, she's too

emotional, sues people.

465

00:29:46,293 --> 00:29:50,366

She's a pretty little thing. Maybe

she thinks she can get away with it.

466

00:29:50,573 --> 00:29:52,643

Yeah.

467

00:29:59,053 --> 00:30:02,966

Thanks. My mole says they're still

on the fence.

468

00:30:03,173 --> 00:30:05,641

If you act civilized,

humble, remorseful...

469

00:30:05,853 --> 00:30:08,413

...you'll get a light censure.

Can you?

470

00:30:08,613 --> 00:30:11,844

There's something else I

could say that might be helpful.

471

00:30:12,053 --> 00:30:14,613

- Sometimes she looks snappish.

- Ready?

472

00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:16,644

- Ready.

- Let's go.

473

00:30:23,253 --> 00:30:27,087

Ms. McBeal, if you'd like

to add to yesterday's testimony...

474

00:30:27,293 --> 00:30:31,445

...or if you'd like to make any final

remarks, you may do so now.

475

00:30:41,733 --> 00:30:42,643

Well...

476

00:30:43,493 --> 00:30:45,370

I would like to conclude...

477

00:30:45,573 --> 00:30:48,007

...by saying that I am...

478

00:30:49,453 --> 00:30:52,763

...sorry about the incident

at the supermarket.

479

00:30:52,973 --> 00:30:57,171

I realize I have been under

stress with my new job.

480

00:30:57,853 --> 00:31:00,890

But I would

ask you to trust me...

481

00:31:01,093 --> 00:31:03,846

...and the members of my

firm to ensure...

482

00:31:04,053 --> 00:31:06,613

...no matter what my personal

struggles may be...

483

00:31:06,813 --> 00:31:10,692

...the representation of our clients

will never be compromised.

484

00:31:11,373 --> 00:31:14,968

Would you be willing to undergo

a psychiatric evaluation?

485

00:31:15,173 --> 00:31:16,242

Would you?

486

00:31:16,453 --> 00:31:18,569

A friend wouldn't take a

urine test once...

487

00:31:18,773 --> 00:31:21,890

...because he had no time to study.

Evaluations...

488

00:31:22,093 --> 00:31:24,243

Richard, sit down! Now!

489

00:31:29,293 --> 00:31:33,730

I came here prepared to say

all the right things, and...

490

00:31:33,933 --> 00:31:35,685

And I think that you have.

491

00:31:35,893 --> 00:31:37,042

What is she guilty of?

492

00:31:37,253 --> 00:31:40,086

You don't drag in every

attorney who commits a crime.

493

00:31:40,293 --> 00:31:45,321

Every attorney who appears emotionally

unstable or mentally unfit...

494

00:31:45,533 --> 00:31:47,763

A man acts passionate,

he's impassioned.

495

00:31:47,973 --> 00:31:49,770

A woman, she's emotional.

496

00:31:49,973 --> 00:31:51,088

I'm confused.

497

00:31:51,293 --> 00:31:55,332

Not only was it another woman asking

us to investigate her, it was you!

498

00:31:55,533 --> 00:31:57,603

- And I was wrong.

- Yes, ding-dong!

499

00:31:57,813 --> 00:32:00,373

The bell doesn't unring

quite so loudly.

500

00:32:00,573 --> 00:32:04,486

Twenty minutes ago, a half-naked

Happy Boyle said she was pushy.

501

00:32:04,693 --> 00:32:07,890

"A pretty little thing, she'll learn."

Let's admit it.

502

00:32:08,093 --> 00:32:10,323

She stands most guilty

of being female...

503

00:32:10,533 --> 00:32:14,003

...young, attractive and how dare

she be aggressive.

504

00:32:14,213 --> 00:32:16,044

HAWK: Forgive me.

You're an able judge.

505

00:32:16,253 --> 00:32:19,848

But as character references go,

you don't turn tides.

506

00:32:20,053 --> 00:32:24,444

- You're a bit of a kook yourself.

- Hey! I am on this Board.

507

00:32:24,653 --> 00:32:27,565

You're not sitting today

nor should you be.

508

00:32:27,773 --> 00:32:30,367

Do you mean to sell

yourself as objective?

509

00:32:31,293 --> 00:32:35,332

Twenty minutes from now you'll fondle

Mr. Fish on his favorite futon.

510

00:32:35,533 --> 00:32:37,091

We know the scoop on you.

511

00:32:37,733 --> 00:32:40,008

Go tease your hair and

let us do our business.

512

00:32:40,213 --> 00:32:42,852

All right.

That's enough from everybody.

513

00:32:43,053 --> 00:32:47,012

Judge Cone, thank you. We will

consider your changed position.

514

00:32:47,213 --> 00:32:51,764

Consider that the smallest suspension

will affect her whole career.

515

00:32:52,093 --> 00:32:57,042

Thank you, we get that.

Now, Ms. McBeal...

516

00:32:57,493 --> 00:33:00,132

...is there anyone else

to champion your interests...

517

00:33:00,333 --> 00:33:03,484

...or might you quit

while only slightly behind?

518

00:33:03,693 --> 00:33:05,604

I'd like to be heard.

519

00:33:05,813 --> 00:33:07,690

Splendid.

520

00:33:07,893 --> 00:33:11,169

First, in the spirit

of no surprises...

521

00:33:11,373 --> 00:33:14,126

...it was my bottom she smelled

20 years ago.

522

00:33:14,333 --> 00:33:16,847

We were high school sweethearts.

We're still close.

523

00:33:17,053 --> 00:33:19,613

That might make me

less objective...

524

00:33:19,813 --> 00:33:22,771

...but I know her better than

anyone else.

525

00:33:22,973 --> 00:33:26,761

And I don't care

what kind of club this is.

526

00:33:26,973 --> 00:33:29,089

We're all better off

with her in it.

527

00:33:30,453 --> 00:33:34,765

When I was studying for the Bar, I had

this great professor.

528

00:33:34,973 --> 00:33:36,326

Did she sleep with him?

529

00:33:38,253 --> 00:33:41,768

He said some would see

the law in black and white.

530

00:33:41,973 --> 00:33:46,205

They'd do fine. Some can't tell

the black from white.

531

00:33:46,413 --> 00:33:47,812

They'd flunk.

532

00:33:48,013 --> 00:33:52,848

Then some could tell the black from

the white and see all the grays.

533

00:33:53,053 --> 00:33:55,044

And they'd be doomed forever.

534

00:33:55,253 --> 00:33:59,565

Ally's faced with some of

that doom. She sees grays.

535

00:33:59,773 --> 00:34:02,845

She tries to make sense

of an arena that's messy...

536

00:34:03,053 --> 00:34:05,772

Is there anybody here who

knows what he's talking about?

537

00:34:05,973 --> 00:34:10,683

What I'm talking about is...

she knows, she knows.

538

00:34:10,893 --> 00:34:15,808

Whatever the virtues of balance,

it's just a pleasant form of insanity.

539

00:34:16,013 --> 00:34:19,323

That clears it up.

Anything else?

540

00:34:20,493 --> 00:34:24,691

This is a woman who isn't

afraid to be emotional.

541

00:34:24,893 --> 00:34:28,806

She isn't scared of being weak. She's

tougher than anybody in this room.

542

00:34:29,013 --> 00:34:31,368

She knows the part of

being alive...

543

00:34:31,573 --> 00:34:35,088

...is being willing to get into

the same room with your pain and...

544

00:34:38,173 --> 00:34:42,530

Whatever virus you think she's got, we

should all be so lucky to be infec...

545

00:34:42,733 --> 00:34:44,291

- You all have been.

- Hey!

546

00:34:44,493 --> 00:34:45,482

- Bygones.

- Sit!

547

00:34:50,613 --> 00:34:52,649

All I'll say is...

548

00:34:55,813 --> 00:34:57,007

...I know her.

549

00:34:58,173 --> 00:35:00,368

I know this woman.

550

00:35:00,573 --> 00:35:03,724

There's only one of her.

Trust me.

551

00:35:05,773 --> 00:35:09,766

And if you use your gavel

to even slightly squash...

552

00:35:09,973 --> 00:35:11,850

...what makes her...

553

00:35:15,333 --> 00:35:17,244

You don't know her.

554

00:35:34,853 --> 00:35:39,005

- How long before they decide?

- They said soon, which isn't good.

555

00:35:39,213 --> 00:35:42,808

I never saw your closing arguments,

but you're usually better, right?

556

00:35:43,013 --> 00:35:45,447

I did the best I could, Richard.

557

00:35:46,253 --> 00:35:47,652

Thanks for being here.

558

00:35:47,853 --> 00:35:50,890

Even if they suspend you,

how severe could it be?

559

00:35:51,093 --> 00:35:53,243

- Whipper said any suspension...

- They're back.

560

00:35:53,453 --> 00:35:56,251

- They've called you in.

- Bye.

561

00:36:00,333 --> 00:36:03,325

Without passing judgment

on your emotional state...

562

00:36:03,533 --> 00:36:07,048

...Ms. McBeal, there are two things

we can safely conclude.

563

00:36:07,253 --> 00:36:09,005

One, you have a devoted following.

564

00:36:09,213 --> 00:36:12,842

Two, if we rule against you,

you'd appeal...

565

00:36:13,053 --> 00:36:17,968

...and we'd be see you and hear

you and all of these people again.

566

00:36:18,573 --> 00:36:21,451

As deterrents go, I can think

of none more effective.

567

00:36:23,013 --> 00:36:27,643

By unanimous vote, three to zero,

we choose not to suspend you.

568

00:36:27,853 --> 00:36:29,002

May God help us all.

569

00:36:38,093 --> 00:36:41,449

He lives in my neighborhood

570

00:36:41,693 --> 00:36:45,049

When he walks by

He looks so good

571

00:36:45,693 --> 00:36:48,810

RICHARD: What?

- I think my testimony swayed them.

572

00:36:49,013 --> 00:36:50,810

I agree, but we won anyway.

573

00:36:51,013 --> 00:36:54,244

That was real teamwork.

We even rode the Whip!

574

00:36:55,773 --> 00:36:59,732

I'm still sorry I helped cause

it all. Will you forgive me?

575

00:36:59,933 --> 00:37:01,844

Bygones.

576

00:37:04,733 --> 00:37:08,521

- I feel like snacking on a twin.

- Hey, me too.

577

00:37:08,733 --> 00:37:12,089

- Whip, Elaine, double-team me.

- You got it.

578

00:37:12,293 --> 00:37:13,521

- Elaine.

- Absolutely.

579

00:37:13,733 --> 00:37:15,689

Oh, my goodness.

580

00:37:15,893 --> 00:37:19,203

I'm going to meet you at home.

I'm zonked.

581

00:37:19,413 --> 00:37:21,005

- What?

- We have to celebrate.

582

00:37:23,133 --> 00:37:25,203

You have that

whole tube to use up.

583

00:37:25,413 --> 00:37:27,051

- Shut up.

- Okay.

584

00:37:28,093 --> 00:37:30,846

- Congratulations.

- Thanks.

585

00:37:34,013 --> 00:37:40,009

- And, thank you.

- I don't know that what I said helped.

586

00:37:40,933 --> 00:37:42,924

It didn't. Trust me.

587

00:37:49,693 --> 00:37:51,046

- Well.

- Well.

588

00:37:56,613 --> 00:37:59,730

I better make sure

those twins don't get my wife.

589

00:38:00,253 --> 00:38:01,652

Yeah.

590

00:38:02,373 --> 00:38:04,648

- I'll be back.

- Oh, yeah.

591

00:38:30,773 --> 00:38:33,207

Hey, Dad.

592

00:38:33,413 --> 00:38:35,973

I'm great. How are you?

593

00:38:36,173 --> 00:38:37,845

How's Mom?

594

00:38:39,533 --> 00:38:42,525

Yeah, yeah, I guess

it is kind of late...

595

00:38:42,733 --> 00:38:46,328

...but I was leaving my office and

I thought I'd call and say, "Hey!"

596

00:38:46,533 --> 00:38:51,049

No, everything's fine.

Kind of a tough week, but...

597

00:38:51,373 --> 00:38:52,965

Yeah.

598

00:38:53,173 --> 00:38:55,050

Normal.

599

00:38:57,373 --> 00:38:59,682

Anyway, I just...

That was all.

600

00:38:59,893 --> 00:39:02,532

I just called to say, "Hey!"

601

00:39:02,733 --> 00:39:08,046

Yeah, we do.

Maybe I can make it over next week.

602

00:39:09,493 --> 00:39:12,326

Yeah.

603

00:39:13,013 --> 00:39:17,723

Anyway, I'll let you get back to bed.

Okay.

604

00:39:17,933 --> 00:39:19,446

Love you.

605

00:39:20,533 --> 00:39:21,648

Bye.

606

00:39:22,933 --> 00:39:24,446

Dad?

607

00:39:24,653 --> 00:39:26,052

[RECEIVER CLICKS]

608

00:40:06,173 --> 00:40:07,925

ALLY:

I know I've got it great, really.

609

00:40:08,133 --> 00:40:11,125

Good job. Good friends.

Loving family.

610

00:40:11,333 --> 00:40:15,292

Total freedom

and long bubble baths.

611

00:40:16,333 --> 00:40:18,642

What else could there be?

612

00:41:25,213 --> 00:41:26,248

OLD LADY:

You stinker!

613

00:41:27,613 --> 00:41:28,602

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614

00:41:28,773 --> 00:41:29,762

[ENGLISH SDH]