It was for that reason he was extremely startled when he felt a hand grab him by the back of his collar, and drag him to his feet.

"You keep that goddamned gun away from her, do you understand me, soldier?" hissed the Staff Sergeant, and the man gulped at the fiery blue gaze.

"B-but, ma'am, it's not loaded!" he protested.

"Do I look like I care?" snarled Kris. "If I ever see you, or anyone else for that matter, come anywhere near Cassidy with a gun, even if it's fucking disassembled, I will kick your sorry ass all the way into next week, is that understood?" she demanded, and the man nodded, running when his feet hit the ground.

Turning to face her daughter, the tall woman crouched down, and placed her hands on the girl's shoulders. "Cassidy," she began, "guns are very dangerous, okay? I don't want to see you around them. If you see someone with a gun, and you don't know them or you're scared, I want you to run away from there as fast as you can, all right?"

The girl nodded - she knew she wasn't supposed to touch guns, but she figured if the adults had them, the least she could do was look at them, safely, as long as she really didn't touch them.

Despite the agreement from the child, Kris wasn't finished yet. In her nightmare, Cassidy had been killed by a gun; she was going to make sure that never happened. "Guns hurt people, very badly. They are not toys, do you understand?"

"Momma," cried Cassidy, squirming in the suddenly firm hold on her arms, "you're hurting me!"

Kris released her hands in an instant. "Oh, Cassidy," she said, tears coming to her eyes as she realized she had been so worried about making sure Cassidy stayed away from guns she didn't notice her grip on the young child becoming stronger. Pulling the girl to her, she hugged her tightly, saying, "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I never meant to hurt you. Momma never, ever wants to hurt you, okay? I promise. God, I'm so sorry," as the tears soaked into the small T-shirt Cassidy wore.

"It's okay, Momma," said the girl, squeezing the woman tightly around the neck, trying to make her feel better, not understanding why she was crying into her shoulder.

Just a few yards away, a pair of worried green eyes narrowed as Ryanne watched the scene unfold. Something was very wrong with her soldier. And she was going to find out what it was. Soon.

* * * * *

"I'm home," Kris called, as she walked through the door. She knew Ryanne had been at the base, since she'd seen Cassidy, but had missed talking to the blonde. The soldier figured the two were home, since it had taken a long while to regain her composure since her encounter with the girl. Nearly an hour had passed before the tall woman felt she was steady enough to leave on her own two feet, having washed all traces of tears from her face.

As the tall soldier went through the house, she entered the kitchen, and saw Ryanne sitting at the table. Any thoughts of giving the woman a kiss faded from Kris' mind when she saw the look on the blonde's face.

"Ryanne? What's wrong?" she asked, concerned.

"Sit down," said Ryanne, tonelessly, and Kris obeyed, swallowing hard. "Kris, Cassidy has marks on her arms, like someone grabbed her." The tall woman hung her head, and said nothing. "You wanna tell me about it?"

"What do you mean?" Kris asked, blue eyes flashing.

"Kris, I saw you," the blonde said. "I saw the way you reacted to that soldier, and I saw what you did to Cassidy."

"What, are you spying on me, now?" the soldier demanded.

"No, I'm just worried about you, honey," explained Ryanne, gently.

"I'm fine," was the terse reply.

"No, you're not. Kris, you haven't been sleeping well, and the nightmares…"

Kris stood up, angrily. "Look, just leave me the hell alone, all right? I said I was fine. Stop bothering me."

"No," said Ryanne, grabbing the woman's arm as she tried to leave. "You left marks on my daughter's arms, and you want to tell me you're fine? I don't think so. Something's wrong, Kris," she continued, her voice softening a little. "Maybe you just need to talk to someone; I can't help you if you won't tell me what's wrong."

"I don't need your goddamn help," spat Kris, her sapphire eyes blazing. "Just stay the fuck away from me, okay? And let go of me."

"Talk to me," pleaded Ryanne, glad Cassidy was outside playing with Wind Dancer, so she didn't have to hear the argument.

"Leave. Me. Alone," growled the soldier, ripping her arm from Ryanne's grip, connecting the back of her hand with the side of the small blonde's face in the process. Ryanne took a few steps back, tasting the metallic flavor of blood in her mouth, as Kris stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind her.

"What's happening to you?" the woman whispered, wandering over to the kitchen sink to rinse out her mouth, as the taillights of Kris' truck vanished into the night.

* * * * *

"Just go in there, and apologize for being an ass," Kris coached herself. Damn, how many times have I had this conversation with myself? I've been screwing up too often. With a shaking breath, she stepped out of her truck, four hours after speeding away in a cloud of dust. "If she'll ever forgive me - dear God, I hit her!"

Upon entering the house, she followed the voices she heard, and stood hidden behind the wall next to the living room.

"…and then the mood swings, and now this," Ryanne was saying, as she laid on the couch next to her friend Barry, and adjusted the ice pack on her swollen lip.

The man sighed. "I don't know, RC," he admitted. "You say you don't know what's bothering her?" Ryanne shook her head. "Well, maybe she'll come around. Just give her a little time." Although the only thing Barry wanted to do was beat the crap out of the tall woman for striking his friend, he tried to be supportive, knowing how caring his best friend was.

"I'm just scared, Bear," confessed the woman.

That did it. Kris felt the tears well up in her eyes before she could stop them. The words were like a blow in the chest - Ryanne was afraid of her! What was worse, was she had every right to be.

Stepping into view, she raised an eyebrow at Barry as he stood in such a way so as to protect Ryanne from the tall soldier.

"I know you could throw me across this room in the blink of an eye," he said, "but better me than her."

"Barry," sighed Ryanne, moving him aside as she sat up, knowing the statement hurt Kris by the tensing in her jaw.

Kris bit her lip to keep the tears at bay so she could speak. "I'm sorry, Ryanne," she began, her facade crumbling as clear droplets of pain made their way, unbidden, down her chiseled cheek. "I swear, I never meant to hurt you or Cassidy. I love you, sweetheart, and I am so sorry for the things I said. I didn't mean it - I know you just want to help me. I don't even know what's wrong with me," she admitted.

"I'll talk to Mark tomorrow and have him recommend someone, so I can get some help, okay? I'll stay away from Cassidy, if you want… or, I'll sleep on the couch until this is over… or…"

Aware that the woman was rambling, Ryanne opened her arms, and said, lovingly, "Come 'ere."

The soldier needed no further encouragement, as she flew to the woman's side, kneeling in front of her and sobbing into her lap. Glancing up with bloodshot eyes, she traced the light bruise that was a painful reminder of her anger.

"God, I did that to you," she whispered, as her fingers touched the welt. "Why… how can you forgive me? I don't think I'll ever forgive myself. Ryanne, you have every right to be afraid of me…" Kris said, quietly.

Green eyes widened. "Oh, honey, I'm not afraid of you," she corrected. "I'm afraid for you. I don't know what's wrong; all I know is that you're hurting, and there's nothing I can do to help. That scares me," the blonde said, tugging the woman up onto the couch next to her, cradling the dark head on her shoulder as she wrapped her arms securely around the tall woman.

Kris sighed, and gently kissed the soft lips before her, pulling back lest she take a chance of aggravating the dark weal.

"Thanks for coming down, Barry," said Ryanne, upon remembering they weren't alone, and the man nodded.

"Not a problem," he assured his friend. "And you," he continued, pointing an accusing finger at Kris, "if you ever hit her again…"

Kris hung her head. "I won't," she whispered. "So help me God, I'll never do that again." Ryanne saw the tears, and gently squeezed her arm, telling the tall woman she'd forgiven her. "But, thank you, Barry, for being here for her when I wasn't."

The man sighed. "I know you love her, Kris. Just don't either of you forget it, okay?" When the women nodded, he grinned, and kissed Ryanne's cheek before he left.

"I'm so sorry, baby," said the soldier, hugging Ryanne tightly.

"I know, honey. We'll get through this together, okay?" she asked, and Kris agreed. As the two walked down the hall, Kris glanced wistfully at Cassidy's empty bedroom, Ryanne having sent her to stay with the Captain for a few days, until she was sure the girl could be in the house without witnessing an argument. "She's already forgiven you, Kris, and so have I. Come on, let's get some rest.

"And this time," she said, climbing under the blankets, "you wake me if you have a nightmare, so we can talk about it, okay? I think it'll help." With a heavy sigh, the solder nodded, and scooted closer to the small blonde, wrapping her arms around her as she tried to go to sleep.

~ Sergeant of the Heart ~

by C. E. Gray

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Disclaimer: This is an Uber story, so the characters are mine, and the plot. If you wanna borrow anything, ask first. J All work is copyrighted once you submit it on the internet, but for argument's sake, this work is Copyrighted © by C. E. Gray, 2001