I mean, please, I am an English teacher. Some things just aren’t acceptable.

Alanna breezed through the door, arms loaded down with clothes and a large jug of what I desperately hoped was wine.

“Hi, Alanna!” Seeing her familiar face made me realize how much I’d missed her today.

“Rhea!” She smiled her sweet Alanna smile at me and rushed forward to empty her arms of stuff, nodding pleasantly at Victoria.

“Alanna, meet Victoria, Lead Huntress of Centaurs.”

“It is an honor to meet you, Mistress.”

“Alanna is my best friend—proof of that lies in the fact that I’d bet my coronet that jug is filled with my favorite red wine.”

As I spoke, Alanna was pouring me a goblet of red magic and placing it on the ledge next to me.

“Any red wine is your favorite red wine.”

“Any dark, dry red wine—I have my standards,” I quipped as I took a quick swallow.

Alanna, always Ms. Manners, was already pouring a second cup for Victoria. “Please join us, Mistress,” she said politely as she handed the wine to the centaur.

Victoria gratefully accepted the cup, and I watched as Alanna began to pick up my dirty clothing—

“Stop!” I screamed and jumped up, spraying water and wine everywhere. “Don’t touch my clothes!”

Alanna dropped the dirty mess as if she’d been burnt, and stood there looking miserable.

I grabbed her hand and led her over to the waterfall area where clean water bubbled into the pool. Pouring a lavish amount of soup on her hands, I ordered, “Wash—really, really well.”

“I forgot,” she said apologetically.

Mumbling to myself about blondes and best friends, I marched my naked body over to the pile of nasty clothes, picked them up and threw them into the blazing hearth that was built into the far wall. Then I jumped back into the pool and repositioned myself on my ledge. I looked up to find Victoria watching me as if I had suddenly sprouted wings or, worse, a penis.

I took another drink from my goblet, which I was pleased to see still had some wine left in it, before I explained.

“Smallpox is very contagious.”

“I knew that. It is why humans should not tend those who are already ill.”

“It’s more than just tending the ill that spreads the disease—the blankets, clothes, cups, anything someone has gotten—” I searched for the right words “—body fluids on, can spread the disease just as surely as if the person were standing there.”

“That I did not know.” Her keen eyes searched mine. “This is something your Goddess has revealed to you?”

“Yes,” I said, glancing sideways at Alanna, who was still scrubbing her hands as she watched me.

She acknowledged my worried look by reiterating, “The Goddess reveals many things to Rhea.”

Victoria looked satisfied with the divine-intervention explanation, and went back to washing her hair while she talked. “It has been said that you are taunting the leader of the Fomorians and drawing them into our trap.”

“Yeah—” I attacked my hair, too “—and it isn’t much fun.”

“I have found that there is only one compensation for dealing with great evil.” She paused and I waited expectantly for her to continue. “It teaches great lessons.”

She spoke with such profound sadness that I suddenly wanted very much to ask what had happened to her—I wondered what horrible lesson evil had taught her.

Instead, I said, “I wonder what lesson it will teach me.”

Into the silence the two knocks on the door seemed to echo.

“What?!” I yelled in my most annoyed-teacher voice.

“Rhea?” My husband sounded uncharacteristically tentative as the door opened a crack. I could see the reflection of the candles glimmer in his eyes as he tried to peer into the room. “May I enter?”

“No!” I screeched. “Victoria doesn’t have a damn thing on!”

He paused, holding the door open a little farther than a crack, and I could hear his amused snort. “I grew up with Victoria. I have seen her bathing many times.”

“I don’t care how many times you’ve seen how many zillions of gorgeous naked centaurs before we were married.” I was still yelling as I jumped out of the pool and sped to towel dry my body while I made shooing motions at him. “From now on you don’t get to see any naked females except me—centaur or not.”

I could hear his laughter, and I could see the door was still cracked open.

“Unless you want me leering at my guards while they bathe!”

The door slammed quickly closed. I continued drying myself, mumbling something about this not being the Playboy Mansion, so we were certainly not bunnies on display.

A noise from the pool made me look, just in time to see Victoria explode in laughter as she surged from the pool and shook water all over the room.

I noticed that Alanna (my supposed best friend) had plopped down on her butt and was joining the centaur in a big belly laugh.

“What’s so damn funny?” I asked as I wrapped my wet hair in a towel, turban style.

“You and ClanFintan!” Victoria said between her ringing laughter.

“What about us?”

“You are jealous!”

“So?”

Alanna was laughing so hard she snorted. I shot her a look and said, “I don’t know what you’re laughing at, Ms. Newlywed.” She tried to sober her expression, but only succeeded in causing her eyes to tear with suppressed laughter.

“Lady Rhea,” Victoria hiccuped as her laughter subsided, “do not be offended. It was just so unusual to see the woman I have heard so many—” she stopped, clearly choosing to discard several offensive words “—tales about showing such obvious affection for her mate.”