Entertainment

Reading 1

Spend some time trying to absorb the language of the theatre and stage contained in this text.

Confessions of a would-be actor

After playing Joseph in a nativity play at the age of five and a half, -1 can still remember the three lines I had - my theatrical career really took off. I was chosen to be the back end ofthe pantomime horse in our school end-of-term Chrismas show. Success there, or rather lack of it - the horse's seams came apart soon after our first entrance - led to my being given the job of stagehand for all future productions. Even scenery falling over in the middle of an Italian light opera and last-minute panic over the missing set for an ancient Greek tragedy failed to persuade our drama teacher that I would be less ofa risk on stage than off. (That, in fact, is not strictly true. I did have a walk-on part once in a French bedroom farce - as an apparently dumb police constable - but to everyone's horror I tried to exit with the wrong character at the end of the wrong scene, stage left instead of stage right.)

On leaving school, I joined an amateur dramatic society, full of enthusiasm but rather short on experience, technique and timing. For some years, I was restricted to bit parts in sketches, satirical revues and one or two slapstick comedies. My finest hour came when I had to stand in for a member of the cast who had been taken ill -1 was the general male understudy - and take the part of the villain in a Victorian melodrama; lots ofoveracting and asides to the audience. I had only a very short rehearsal beforehand and I thought my performance was reasonably competent. The producer, however, suggested that I took up some less public hobby, like pottery or rug-making.

Not deterred, I joined a repertory company as stage and costumes manager, also responsible for props and make-up. And I was their prompter as well. During my time with them I wrote a number ofscripts, most of which were rejected, but one ofwhich was accepted and performed. It turned out to be the most terrible flop. I didn't do much acting there -just one part, if I remember rightly, in the chorus of a musical, a revival of West Side Story. Nobody 'discovered' me. What I had always wanted was to play the hero in something like Romeo and Juliet or to have a leading part in an Oscar Wilde comedy of manners. When I turned fifty, however, I began to accept that it was probably not going to happen.

You can imagine my surprise and delight, then, when some nights ago I learned that I had landed the title role in Shakespeare's classic play Macbeth with the Royal Shakespeare Company. I couldn't believe my luck. Macbeth: that superb monologue before Duncan's murder, the passages with the witches on the heath, that fantastic

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow speech in Act Five, Scene 5. The dress rehearsal, with co-stars Olivier and Glenda Jackson, was a dream. And with the first night to follow — ten curtain calls — bouquets — reviews the next day: 'Smash hit!' 'Don't miss it!' 'A box office winner!' 'Triumph for new Macbeth!' 'A Star is ...'.

And then that horrible ringing sound in my ears ...

159

Entertainment

Practice 1

[1] On the right are some of the ways we classify films. On the left are some film titles. Match each title with the most appropriate kind of film from the column on the right,

[2]In what situation might you say the following? Match each question with one ofthe situations on the right.

5What time does it start? You're leaving the cinema with a friend.

6Where shall we sit? There are three cinemas in town and you don't know

which is showing the film you want to see. 7 Where's the bar? You haven't a clue what to go and see.

8 What did you think of it? It might be a horror film and you wouldn't enjoy that.

[3]Here are some ofthe categories for the annual Academy Award Winners. Each winner gets an Oscar. Look back over the past few years - not just this year - and note down who you would give your awards to for as many as you can ofthe categories below. Ifyou don't know the name ofthe person involved, thenjust give the name ofthe film. Ifyou are working in a group, compare and discuss your notes with a partner.

Best film Best Actor Best Actress

Best Supporting Actor Best Supporting Actress Best Director

Best Original Screenplay (script) Best Screen Adaptation

Best Cinematic Photography

Best Editing

Best Special Effects

Best Original Score (music) Best Costumes / Wardrobe Best Title Sequences / Credits

Best Short (film)

Special Award for Services to the Cinema Industry, the motion picture business, the dream factory, the movie world

160

Entertainment

Game

There are, of course, more aspects to film-making than those listed above. Match each person (1 - 5) with what they would say (a - e).

1 Director

2Producer

3Continuity Girl

4Clapperboard Man

5Cameraman

aCan't you get on with the shooting? This is costing me money.

bScene 24. Take 25!

сYour make-up's thicker and you're wearing a different dress.

dClear the set! This is supposed to be a film studio! Get those damned extras out ofhere! Action! Cut!

eRolling!

Reading 2

Finally in this unit - leaving aside nightclubs and floor shows, variety shows and puppet shows, music-hall and carnivals, fairgrounds and fashion parades, a song about the circus:

The whole thing's fake. The sawdust's like cake.

The tent itself's unsafe, and it tilts.

The singer's songs don't rhyme. The band can't keep in time.

And the chap can never climb on to his stilts.

But the one saving grace in this fifth-rate place -

The only act that's guaranteed to please —

The only reason that I go to this rotten awful show

Is that tiny little girl on the trapeze.

Thejuggler drops the balls. The tightrope walker falls.

And performing fleas are always such a pain.

The fire-eater's bald. And the audience are appalled

As the lion-tamer's mauled yet again.

The clowns aren't funny. It's a total waste of money.

I don't know why they have shows like these.

The only thing worth seeing in the whole performance being

That young twenty-year-old girl on the trapeze.

The ventriloquist moves his lips. The acrobat always trips.

And the conjuror's got no tricks left up his sleeve.

The high-diver's head is like a square loaf of bread.

I wouldn't be seen dead in there, believe me.

If it wasn't for the fact that there's this super little act

That gets me going weak at the knees,

I think you know the reason why I come back every season:

It's that middle-aged girl on the trapeze.

The ringmaster stutters. The comedian mutters.

And the strong-man splutters in despair.

The midget's five foot five; I'm surprised he's still alive

Because the knife-thrower's knives go everywhere!

161

Entertainment

The Russian sword-swallowers have lost all their followers;

So many knives they've borrowed stay below.

And the disappearing rabbits with their rather special habits,

Keep appearing just as rapidly as they go.

So even now, I must confess, the thing I like the best -

I don't know ifthere's anyone who agrees —

I've reallyjust come back for that one three-minute act -

It's that elderly artist on the trapeze.

Practice 2

[1] Write or discuss the answers to these questions.

1 Which clip from a particular film would you never tire of seeing?

2What trailers have you seen recently that really made you want to go and see the film?

3Can you think ofany scenes from films you think should have been cut? Or can you think of any entire film you think should have been banned?

4Which of these features do you, in general, like a film to have:

5What can the cinema offer that the theatre can't - and vice versa?

6Which plays have you seen which you have also seen the film of? How did the two

versions compare?

7Would you let your ten-year-old son go off to Hollywood to be in a film, with or without you there?

[2]Write a favourable review for a play you have seen.

[3]Write an unfavourable review for a film you didn't like.

[4]Write part of a fan letter from a young teenager to an actor or film star.

•Add here any other words that you meet about the theatre, cinema or circus.

162