The Loan / The Burglar

1) “That’s not so hard, George,” said his father. “Write to him and say you need the $1000 at once.”

2)Among my best friends are Joe and his wife Alice, who live in a nice little house near Manchester.

3) “You mean the $500,” George interrupted.

4)The friend proved to be untrustworthy, and as George thought he would lose the $500, he asked his father for advice.

5)The donor neglected to send his name, and all day the couple’s question was, “Wonder who it is?”

6) “No, I don’t! Say a thousand pounds and he will write back he only owes you $500.”

7)There was a note from the burglar propped up on the pillow in the bedroom saying, “Now you know.”

8)When, as a newly married couple, they had just returned from their honeymoon, they got a pleasant surprise in the post one morning - two tickets for the best show in town.

9)George Smith had lent a friend $500 but he had nothing in writing confirming the loan.

10)They enjoyed the show; when they reached home they found that their house had been broken into and that all their wedding presents had been taken.

11) “Then you’ll have it in writing.”

b)Read the story sentence by sentence and find logical mistakes.

John Adams is an amateur detective who spends all his time trying to solve crimes. Yesterday at about nine o’clock in the afternoon he saw his brother Joe walk up to a red car, get into it and ride off at a steady trot. Three days later at exactly the same time he thought he saw the same thing. He couldn’t be absolutely sure as it was already getting dark and the woman was holding an umbrella over her face to protect her from the fog. Later that day when Adams had observed several other suspicious people he walked to the next village and handed his report to the head waiter at New Scotland Yard.

Unit 13. “Take the Witness!” (by Robert Charles Benchley)

I 1.Below are some extracts from court cases. In all but one of them a silly question is asked. Which one?

a) “And the youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?”

b) “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”

“No.”

“Did you check for blood pressure?”

“No.”

“Did you check for breathing?”

“No.”

“How can you be so sure, doctor?”

“Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”

“But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?”

“It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.”

c) “Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?”

d) “You say the stairs went down to the basement?”

“Yes.”

“Did they also go up?”

e) “What were you doing at the time of the murder?’

“I was watching the football on TV.”

“Were you alone?”

“Yes, I was.”

“Who won the match?”

“Manchester United.”

f) “Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?”

g) “Were you present when your picture was taken?”

2.Which one did you find the most amusing?

3.The words and phrases in the box are all connected to the theme of law. Put the words under one of the headings below.

Crimes punishments people legal processes

Sue libel suspended sentence jury the accused contempt of court judge counsel arson award damages community service manslaughter weigh up the evidence fraud speeding witness return a verdict cross examine solitary confinement

4.Use words and phrases from the table to complete these sentences.

a)What’s the difference between the two? Well, slander is when you say something about someone which isn’t true. _ is when you publish it, and that’s when people generally take action.

b)If a person is on trial for murder the press can’t refer to them as ‘the murderer.’ They have to say ‘_’.

c)You’re guilty of _ when you didn’t kill the victim deliberately.

d)You _ someone if you want to claim money from them because they have harmed you in some way.

e)The jury has to listen to the case, _ and then _.

f)A _ means that you don’t actually have to go to prison unless you commit another crime.

g)‘_’ is a more formal term for a legal adviser.

h)_ can be anything from teaching kids to play football to cutting grass. Obviously, it’s not paid.

5.Put the crimes below in the order of seriousness. Decide on the punishment you think a person guilty of each crime should get.

mugging swearing in public kidnapping drink driving graffiti creating and releasing computer viruses trespassing dropping litter

6.Look at the expressions in the box below. Which means…

a)suspected of having committed a crime?

b)she doesn’t follow rules?

c)we are all equal in the eyes of the law?

d)take revenge without using the legal system?

e)bossing people around?

f)What I say must be respected?

g)illegal?

h)obeying and respecting the law?

i)legally?

a law unto herself laying down the law against the law take the law into my own hands no-one is above the law by law in trouble with the law law-abiding my word is law

7.Complete the sentences with the expressions above.

a)After years as a _ citizen, John decided to rob a bank and flee the country.

b)Policeman: You were doing 160 kilometres per hour.

Prince: Yes, but do you know who I am?

Policeman: Yes, but _.

c)There was a constable here earlier. I think Mark’s _ again!

d)I was tempted to _ and wring his neck.

e)’Do this! Do that! Be back by 10!’ My father was always _.

f)You can never tell what Ruth’s going to do. She’s _.

g)I’m the boss and _.

h)Most Europeans are required _ to carry ID cards.

i)In some countries it’s _ to chew gum.

8.Study the words from the text.

induce - побуждать reveries - мечты adversary - соперник fiddling - пустой, ненужный wax - прийти в бешенство sneer - насмешка deplete - расслаблять rally - шутка floor - поставить в тупик cocky - нахальный

frantic – бешеный tractable - послушный fresh - дерзкий pat - “в точку” barrage - нагромождение pandemonium - ад кромешный quell - подавлять pop - неожиданно появиться adjourn - отсрочивать, объявлять перерыв wallop – удар

9.Match the words on the left with the words on the right to make up compounds.

cross come court cross day taxi

room ride dream examination questioning back

10.Fill in one of the following expressions in the sentences below.

fresh as a daisy to be after smb/smth to think smth up smart-Alecky a pretty kettle of fish to be immune from

to take one’s cue from smth baby talk a good crack to drag smth out to hit one’s stride to get smb on the run

1)_ is a clever quick joke or remark.

2)_ means to be specially protected from smth.

3)_ is to be in search of.

4)If you annoy others by trying to sound too clever, you are being _.

5)When you try to copy a certain standard, you _.

6)_ means to invent smth.

7)The way people sometimes talk to babies, often repeating words or sounds or using words with no meaning is called _.

8)_ means to confuse smth.

9)_ is to feel that you are fit for doing smth.

10)_ is to cause to last an unnecessary long time.

11)_ is young, not tired and active.

12)_ is a situation that is difficult and awkward.

II 1.Read the text.

Newspaper accounts of trial cross-examinations always bring out the cleverest in me. They induce day-dreams in which I am the witness on the stand, and if you don’t know some of my imaginary comebacks to an imaginary cross-examiner, you have missed some of the most stimulating reading in the history of American jurisprudence.

These little reveries usually take place shortly after I have read the transcript of a trial, while I am on a long taxi-ride or seated at a desk with plenty of other work to do. I like them best when I have work to do, as they deplete me mentally so that I am forced to go and lie down after a particularly sharp verbal rally. The knowledge that I have completely floored my adversary, and the imaginary congratulations of my friends (also imaginary), seem more worth while than any amount of fiddling work done.

During the cross-questioning I am always very calm. Calm is a nice way, that is – never cocky. However frantic my inquisitor may wax (and you should see his face at times – it’s purple!), I just sit there, burning him up with each answer, winning the admiration of the court-room, and, at times, even a smile from the judge himself. At the end of my examination the judge is crazy about me.

Just what the trial is about, I never get quite clear in my mind. Sometimes the subject changes in the middle of the questioning, to allow the insertion of an especially good crack on my part. I don’t think that I am ever actually the defendant, although I don’t know why I should feel that I am immune from trial by a jury of my peers – if such exists.

I am usually testifying on behalf of a friend, or perhaps as just an impersonal witness for someone whom I do not know, who, naturally, later becomes my friend for life. It is Justice that I am after – Justice and a few well-spotted laughs.

Let us whip right unto the middle of my cross-examination, as I naturally wouldn’t want to pull my stuff until I had been insulted by the lawyer, and you can’t get insulted simply by having your name and address asked. I am absolutely fair about these things. If the lawyer will treat me right, I’ll treat him right. He has got to start it. For a decent cross-examiner there is no more tractable witness in the world than I am.

Advancing towards me, with a sneer on his face, he points a finger at me. (I have sometimes thought of pointing my finger back at him, but have discarded that as being too fresh. I didn’t resort to clowning.)

Q. You think you are pretty funny, don’t you? (I have evidently just made some mildly humorous comeback, nothing smart-Alecky, but good enough to make him look silly.)

A. I have never given the matter much thought.

Q. Oh, you haven’t given the matter much thought, eh? Well; you seem to be treating this examination as if it were a minstrel show.

A. (very quietly and nicely) – I have merely been taking my cue from your questions. (You will notice that all this pre-supposes quite a barrage of silly questions on his part, and pat answers on mine, omitted here because I haven’t thought them up. At any rate, it is evident that I have already got him on the run before reverie begins.)

Q. Perhaps you would rather I concluded this inquiry in baby talk?

A. If it will make it easier for you. (Pandemonium, which the Court feels that it has to quell, although enjoying it obviously as much as the spectators.)

Q. (furious) I see. Well, here is a question that I think will be simple enough to elicit an honest answer: Just how did you happen to know that it was eleven-fifteen when you saw the defendant?

A. Because I looked at my watch.

Q. And just why did you look at your watch at this particular time?

A. To see what time it was.

Q. Are you accustomed to looking at your watch often?

A. That is one of the uses to which I often put my watch.

Q. I see. Now, it couldn’t, by any chance, have been ten-fifteen instead of eleven-fifteen when you looked at your watch this time, could it?

A. Yes, sir. It could.

Q. Oh, it could have been ten-fifteen?

A. Yes, sir – if I had been in Chicago. (Not very good, really. I’ll work up something better. I move to have that answer struck from the record.)

When I feel myself lowering my standards by answering like that, I usually give myself a rest and, unless something else awfully good pops into my head, I adjourn the court until next day. I can always convene it again when I hit my stride.

If possible, however, I like to drag it out until I have really given my antagonist a final wallop which practically curls him up on the floor (I may think of one before this goes to press) and, wiping his forehead, he mutters, “Take the witness!”

As I step down from the stand (fresh as a daisy), there is a round of applause which the Court makes no attempt to silence. In fact, I have known certain judges to wink pleasantly at me as I take my seat. Judges are only human, after all.

My only fear is that, if ever I really am called upon to testify in court, I won’t be asked the right questions. That would be a pretty kettle of fish!

2.What can you say about the personality of the story-teller? What kind of person is he?

3.Comment on the author’s words “Judges are only human, after all.” Does this phrase seem funny? Why?

4.In the last paragraph the author says that he is afraid he won’t be asked “the right questions” if called upon to testify in court. What does he mean?

5.What do you think, why is “would” in the last sentence italicized?

6.Comment on the following grammatical phenomena:

1)Just what the trial is about, I never get quite clear in my mind.

2)If it will make it easier for you.

3)If the lawyer will treat me right, I’ll treat him right.

4)My only fear is that, if ever I really am called upon to testify in court, I won’t be asked the right questions.

7.In what meaning is the word “fresh” used in the text? Read the following joke based on the play with two different meanings of the same word. Do you happen to know other examples of the kind?

Lady: “Are you sure these crabs are fresh?”

Fishmonger: “Madam, they are positively insulting”.

8.Write out informal words and phrases from the text.

III 1.Think in what way the following poem is connected with the story you’ve read.