From good speaking to better writing: write to express, not to impress

"Put it in writing!" That's common expression around the office, and it's correct. In the business world, nothing really counts or is official until it's on paper. Yet our own writing or that of others is often incomprehensible. Or even worse, it sounds as if two computers were having a conversation!

Fortunately, bad writing can be cured. The first step to good writing is to recognise there is a problem and then follow a few easy guidelines. While much of the following advice no doubt will sound familiar to you, it's up to you to follow the prescription.

Here are some ways to improve your writing:

1.GET TO THE POINT. Put the conclusion at the beginning of your writing, not at the end. Don't make a reader or listener guess at the point of your message; get it up front. Here's a suggestion: ask yourself if you had but one sentence to use in your writing, what would it be? More often than not, that will be the bottom line.

2.WRITE IN A STYLE THAT COMES NATURALLY TO YOU. Write as though you were talking to another person. It's OK to use personal pronouns like I, you, we, she - they give your correspondence a human touch.

3.PLAN YOUR WRITING. Good writing rarely results from a blind plunge into the message. Your brain needs to see something on paper - or computer screen - before it can begin to organise the ideas. You don't need to plan? What if an architect built buildings that way!

4.REVISE AND RE-WRITE. Few people get it right the first time, so edit your own writing. It's the most important step to improving it. The best writers in the world continually revise their manuscripts. In fact, the design and revision phase of writing should take up 50 percent of the time you spend writing.

5.PRACTICE WRITING CLEARLY. The goal of communication is to be understood. Keep your sentence to 20 words or less. Why? Anything longer probably won't be very clear. In addition, use shorter, more common words. Why write "utilize" when you mean "use"? People are judged on the power of their ideas, not their long sentences and difficult words. Say precisely what you mean. Most of the time, a shorter word is more precise. A rule of thumb is to keep long words (three syllables or longer) down to 15 percent or less of the total words you use. There is nothing so complex that it can't be expressed clearly.

6.SAY WHAT YOU MEAN. This point relates quite nicely with using shorter sentences and words. Chop out all those low information content (LIC) words and phrases.

INSTEAD OF:	WRITE:
a majority of	most
at the same time as	while
utilize	use
for the purpose of	for; to
for this reason	because
in connection with	about
bringing to a conclusion	conclude

Clichés are similar to LIC words and phrases, except their presence is more obvious and can be more damaging. Whereas LIC words and phrases impart a sense of vagueness to writing, clichés make the writer sound artificial, insincere or pompous.

Avoid using words and phrases like these:

"and/or"

"the bottom line is"

"enclosed herewith"

"last but not least"

"for your information"

"regarding the matter of"

"with reference to"

"you are hereby advised"

"as a matter of fact"

"we would appreciate it if"

SUBJECT 3: EFFECTIVE LETTER WRITING

• Pre-Reading Questions

1.What problems do people face when they are writing letters?

2.Why shouldn't you get hung up on grammar or vocabulary?

3.Is it really necessary to be informal in letter writing?

4.Which of the suggestions below is the most appealing to you?

5.How can people express their personality in letters?

6.Should we write like we talk? Why?

EFFECTIVE LETTER WRITING

As business people we seem to have no trouble communicating by telephone - we're usually informal, courteous and brief. But put a pen in our hands and we change into literary Mr Hydes, stuffing our sentences with big words, unnecessary adjectives and ambiguous phrases. We write painfully, slowly, searching for the right words as though trying to impress the reader or hide our own insecurity.

Our correspondence becomes wordy epistles that are often unintelligible and too formal.

If you must write letters, try to retain your own personality. Be simple. Informal. Natural. And come to the point quickly. Don't get hung up on grammar or vocabulary. The trend is toward informality; no one will ridicule you for starting a sentence with "and" or leaving out the odd verb, or even for allowing a participle or two to dangle. It's more important to have your letters carry that personal touch. To have them capture the reader's attention. And to write with the reader's wants and needs in mind.

This doesn't mean you should use poor grammar intentionally.

Standard English gives a greater assurance that you and your reader will be on the same wavelength. But acceptable business style is literate, not literary. Ostentation or pomposity does not impress. It only arouses suspicion in the mind of the reader.

Here are a few suggestions to make your letters more natural, and more effective:

Write an opening sentence that will interest your reader. Always keep the reader in mind. Don't concentrate on the writing of the letter - concentrate on the purpose of the letter.

Keep your sentences short. It's okay to have a long one now and then. In fact, it breaks the monotony. But keep them separated with lots of short, simple sentences.

Use familiar, simple words. Instead of searching for long words, designed to impress, try looking for short ones or two syllable words to substitute for the long ones. And stay away from jargon.

Use verbs in the active voice. Don't say "It was decided at a meeting of the board of directors..." Try instead "the board of directors decided..." Using the active voice makes your letters come alive.

Avoid tiresome expressions. Be original. Stay away from expressions like "a few well-chosen words", "assuring you of our prompt attention" or "attached please find".

Be direct. Don't use two or three words when one will do. "At your earliest convenience" is "soon"; "due to the fact that" is "because".

Use adjectives sparingly. And stay clear of those senseless, unnecessary adjectives that add nothing to the meaning. For example, "practical experience" (is there any other kind?) and establish "necessary criteria" (would anyone want to establish unnecessary criteria?)

Write in first person. You wouldn't refer to yourself as "he" or "one" on the phone, so why write that way? "I hear" is a lot more natural and simpler than "it was brought to my attention". Use plenty of pronouns. Especially "you". (Remember the readers.)

It's oversimplifying things to say "write like you talk." When we talk we usually keep repeating ourselves and that just isn't necessary when writing. The old rule to "avoid all necessary words" is also an oversimplification. If you knew they were unnecessary you wouldn't have used them in the first place. To become an effective letter writer you have to work at it. Edit.

Cross out. Tighten up. Ask yourself if that adjective is necessary. Or whether there's shorter way of saying something.

4

With practice you will find you don't have to edit any more. Just write. Naturally and effectively.

SUBJECT 4: TELEPHONING

• Pre-Reading Questions

1. What are the main means of communication at present?

2. In what ways can phones be misused?

3. Why shouldn't you ask "Who's calling?" in answer to "Is Mr. Smith in?"

4. Why do bosses often prefer their secretaries answer the incoming calls?

5. What do you think of answering machines at home, in the office?

GUIDELINES FOR COMMUNICATING OVER THE PHONE

It was on March 10, 1876 that Alexander Graham Bell hooked together those first two telephones and made the world's first phone call.

Despite all experience in using phones, a great many people still misuse - even abuse - phones.

The worst phone users are not tots fumbling through their first dialling, nor even teenagers plugging into their everlasting calls. Rather, the most serious misuses are the people for whom the phone is the lifeline of their careers - business managers, supervisors, executives, sales staffs - people who are, in effect, "professional phoners".

The professional rarely breaks the basic guides to good phone usage. He or she rarely drops the phone, lets it ring too long, misdials, fails to record frequently used numbers, or makes other such obvious errors. Instead, a great many professional phoners misuse telephones in ways that insult callers, alienate customers and lose business.

Here are seven major "don'ts" - practices to avoid in your phone conversations:

1 DON'T HAVE SOMEONE ELSE TO ANSWER YOUR PHONE

2 DON'T PUT A CALLER ON HOLD BEFORE HE OR SHE CAN SPEAK

3 DON'T ASK "Who's calling?" IN ANSWER TO "Is Mr Smith in?"

4 DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN YOU ARE TALKING WITH SOMEONE IN PERSON

5 DON'T LEAVE ONE CALL TO GET INVOLVED WITH ANOTHER

6 DON'T GIVE SLIPPERY REPLIES ON THE PHONE

7 DON'T MISUSE AN ELECTRONIC TELEPHONE ANSWERING DEVICE

SUBJECT 5: TELEPHONE COURTESY

• Pre-Reading Questions

1. Why should businesspeople follow telephone courtesy when they speak over the phone?

2. Can you decide whether you should do business with a company after calling it?

3. Look through a list of phrases below. Explain why the phrases in the left column are more preferred.

TELEPHONE COURTESY

Every time you make or receive telephone calls at work, you are representing your company. The impression you create usually is a lasting one, so you'll want to make sure your voice and manners always show you at your best.

In a retail environment or in a service organization, you want a voice that speaks well for you. Telephone courtesy can make a difference between satisfied customers who will return time after time, and dissatisfied customers who'll take their business elsewhere.

Use telephone courtesy in your phrases. Some phrases are better than others; here are some suggestions:

This is better than this:
Would you repeat your name, please?	What name did you say?
Would you spell that, please?	What? Speak louder, I can't hear you.
I'm sorry, I didn't get that.	I can't understand what you are trying to say.
Thank you, I'll check for you.	OK. Let me see if I can find out about it from someone.
Yes, Mrs Anthony, I'll be happy to do that for you.	All right. I'll do what I can about it.
It will take a minute or so.	I'll see what I can do.
Would you like for me to call you back?	Hold it.
Thank you for waiting. I have that information now.	You are out of luck. I can't find it.
Can you recall the name of the person you spoke with?	I don't know who would have told you that.
I'm sorry. Mr Beard is away from the store. May I help you?	He's still out to lunch. I don't know when he'll get back.
Thank you for calling, Mr Dunn.	OK. So long.
I was glad to have been able to help.	That's OK. Bye bye.
You are welcome, Ms Green. Good- bye.	All right. Bye.

SUBJECT 6: HOW TO AVOID PLAYING PHONE TAG

• Pre-Reading Questions

1. What is meant by "playing phone tag"?

2. How to avoid inefficient phone practices? Is it really possible?

HOW TO AVOID PLAYING PHONE TAG

Does the telephone play a dominant role in your life? Are you bothered by unnecessary phone calls, pushy sales people and obnoxious answering machine recordings? You are not alone.

In fact, inefficient phone practices waste more time in a day than just about any other office activity.

If you are looking for more control over your day, some simple techniques will help you save time and improve the image you project of yourself and your company over the phone.

Nothing can save you more time more quickly than learning how to avoid playing "phone tag". You know how it goes: you call your committee chairman and he's in a business meeting. He calls you back, and you've left for errands. You call him back, and he's at lunch. He calls you back, and you are tied up until three. He calls you back in the morning and you've taken your children to the dentist. Pretty soon you feel like giving up trying to reach anybody about anything.

Here are some ways to end phone tag:

1. BE PERSISTENT. If someone's secretary says, "He's not at his desk", or "She's in a meeting", reach further. Find out if the person can be reached on another phone. Or perhaps someone else can answer your question.

2. LEAVE SPECIFIC MESSAGES. If you call someone, and he or she isn't there, or you get a secretary, an answering machine or one of the new voice mail systems; never be content to say, "I'll call back later". Leave a detailed, thorough message explaining exactly why you are calling. Although it may be frustrating to have a secretary dictate a lengthy message, remember that both you and the person you are calling will end up saving time. Establish rapport with the secretary and ask her to verify the message you gave.

3. SCHEDULE SPECIFIC CALLBACK APPOINTMENT. If the person you're calling is out, find out when he or she will be back and leave a specific message that you will call back at that time. Treat the callback just like you would a regular appointment. By all means, call back when you said you would. You'll make the person aware you prioritize his or her time as well as your own.

SECTION 16. REVISION

• Translate the following letters.

1. Уважаемые господа!

Мы с интересом ознакомились с рекламными материалами и прейскурантами, присланными нам с Вашим письмом от 6 августа. Мы знаем Вашу компанию как надежного партнера в бизнесе и надеемся на установление деловых связей с Вами.

Как мы узнали из Вашего проспекта № 34а, Вы предлагаете с мая по ноябрь широкий ассортимент рыбных консервов и икру, в покупке которой мы особенно заинтересованы.

Мы просим Вас сообщить, можете ли Вы осуществлять поставку икры как с немедленной поставкой, так и поставкой через равные промежутки времени в течение указанного периода времени.

Нас особо интересует икра 200... года изготовления. Просим также сообщить, сколько баночной и бочковой икры Вы можете нам поставить в течение ближайшего месяца на условиях сиф Лондон. Назначьте Ваши самые низкие цены сиф Лондон.

Мы с нетерпением ждем Вашего ответа с необходимой нам информацией.

С уважением по поручению “Бритиш Кейтеринг Лтд”

Исполнительный директор Д.Вильсон

2. Уважаемые господа!

В журнале “Инжиниринг” за август с.г. мы видели Ваше рекламное объявление о продаже станков и запасных частей. Мы обратились в Вашу торговую палату за информацией и узнали, что Вы являетесь единственными производителями такого типа оборудования.

Мы заинтересованы в покупке у Вас вышеозначенных (the above mentioned) станков. Просим Вас выслать нам Ваши последние каталоги, брошюры и публикации, содержащие детальное описание этих станков.

В свою очередь мы посылаем Вам с этим письмом брошюры и проспекты, дающие представление о нашей деятельности в сферах производства и бизнеса. Если Вас заинтересуют наши товары, мы с радостью вышлем Вам наши печатные материалы и прейскуранты услуг.

Мы с нетерпением ждем Вашего ответа и надеемся, что мы с Вами сделаем все возможное, чтобы установить деловые отношения.

С уважением В.Гордон

3. Уважаемые господа!

Ваш адрес мы нашли в фирменном справочнике (directory). Кроме того, мы обратились в Торговую палату за информацией о Вашей деятельности и узнали о том, что Вы выпускаете широкий ассортимент тканей.

Мы занимаемся производством и продажей одежды на мировом рынке. Поэтому мы могли бы стать Вашими постоянными клиентами, развивать производственные и торговые связи.

Нас интересуют, в первую очередь, хлопчатобумажные, набивные ткани и суровье. Мы будем Вам признательны, если Вы пришлете нам Ваши прейскуранты, а также альбомы образцов. С интересом ожидаем Вашего ответа.

С уважением...

4. Уважаемые господа!

Мы подтверждаем получение Вашего запроса от 5 сентября на хлопчатобумажные и синтетические ткани.

С сожалением сообщаем Вам, что наша фабрика полностью загружена заказами до декабря. Следовательно, первую партию товара мы сможем поставить Вам только в январе.

Если, несмотря на значительную задержку в поставке, Вас все же заинтересует наш товар, то сообщаем для Вашего сведения следующее:

1) Цена за 1 м ткани Модели № 23 составляет 12 долл. США; Моделей № 34 - 38 и № 56 - 11,2 долл. США.

2) Количество: до 40 тыс. м каждой модели.

3) Условия платежа: аккредитив на 50% стоимости заказа, остальное - траттами.

4) Условия поставки: в течение 3 недель от даты заказа.

Надеемся, что наши цены и условия, как и высокое качество наших тканей произведут на Вас благоприятное впечатление. Просим подтвердить получение.

С уважением...

5. Уважаемые господа!

Сообщаем Вам, что 23 мая мы получили от Ваших клиентов «Браун Корпорейшн» рекомендательное письмо, потверждающее, что Вы ведете с ними дела в течение 5 лет и, что «Браун Корпорейшн» считает Вас надежным партнером. Мы удовлетворены полученной информацией и хотели бы, чтобы Вы в ближайшие сроки сообщили нам, сможете ли Вы организовать ко времени подписания агентского соглашения с нами демонстрационные залы на территории Вашего предприятия.

Что касается размера комиссионного вознаграждения, мы подтверждаем нашу договоренность от 14 мая:

1. Комиссия составляет 5% от суммы всех заказов, размещенных при Вашем посредничестве.

2. За делькредере Вы взимаете дополнительно 1,5%.

3. Реклама и демонстрационные залы за Ваш счет.

Просим подтвердить получение.

С уважением К.Смит

25 мая 20... г.

6. Уважаемые господа!

Благодарим Вас за Ваше письмо от 15 мая, содержащее Ваш заказ на две партии станков модели К-12 по 30 штук каждая. Мы предлагаем Вам станки с поставкой в июле-августе на условиях сиф черноморский порт.

Цены на наши станки указаны в прейскуранте № 53. На заказы, превышающие 30 тыс. долл., распространяется скидка в 7%. Сумма Вашего заказа составляет 28 тыс. Мы можем предоставить Вам скидку в 6%. Если же Вы закупите дополнительно 2 станка, то Вы можете рассчитывать на большую скидку.

Наш представитель г-н Браун будет в Москве после 20 мая. Он может лично обсудить с Вами все основные вопросы: условия платежа и поставки, испытания, техническое обслуживание и другие.

Просим подтвердить получение письма. Ждем Вашего ответа.

Менеджер Дж.Смитсон

16 мая 20... г.

7. Уважаемые господа!

Благодарим Вас за письмо от 21 мая, в котором Вы прислали нам Ваш типовой агентский договор. Мы были удивлены, что согласно этому документу Вы предоставляете Агенту комиссию в 2%, при этом организация рекламы, демонстрационные залы и участие в ежегодной специализированной выставке осуществляется за счет Агента. Мы могли бы согласиться на Ваше предложение, если бы комиссия составила, по крайней мере, 5%, при этом реклама за Ваш счет.

Если Вы хотите, чтобы мы приняли на себя делькредере по заказам, то мы взимаем 1,5%. Мы согласны, что общая сумма комиссии может также покрыть издержки, связанные с участием в ежегодной выставке.

Мы хотели бы знать, хотите ли Вы, чтобы поставки товаров осуществлялись Вами в счет размещенных при нашем участии заказов или с нашего склада. Если Вы хотите поставлять товары на консигнацию, мы можем предложить использовать наши склады.

Надеемся, что Вас заинтересуют наши предложения. Ждем Вашего ответа.

С уважением К. Джеймс