10. Family life in Great Britain

Most young people eventually get married, buy or rent a house or flat of their own and start a family. However, a great many changes are taking place in this pattern of behaviour. As in many other Western European countries, more and more men and women are living together without being married. In the mid 1980s more than a quarter of new brides had lived with their husbands before marriage, compared with 8 per cent in 1970. People are also getting married later than they used to.

However marriage is still popular even among those whose first marriage has failed. In fact, in 36 per cent of all marriages one of both partners have already been married and divorced. Britain now has the highest divorce rate in Europe and about 10 per cent of children live with only one parent.

Another trend is towards smaller households. Very few children now grow up in large families and more and more adults are living alone (25 per cent in l987). Many of the people who live alone are elderly; it is unusual to find three generations living in one house as they used to do in the past. It is quite common for close relatives to live in different parts of the country and many people hardly ever meet their uncles, aunts and cousins. One reason for this is that British people move house every five years on average. They do this in order to change jobs or to buy a bigger or better house.(From “Britain Today”, Longman, 1996.)

Identity. The family

In comparison with most other places in the world, family identity is rather weak in Britain, especially in England. Of course, the family unit is still the basic living arrangement for most people. But in Britain this definitely means the nuclear family. There is little sense of extended family identity, except among some racial minorities. This is reflected in the size and composition of households. It is unusual for adults of different generations within the family to live together. The average number of people living in each household in Britain is lower than in most other European countries. The proportion of elderly people living alone is similarly high.

Significant family events such as weddings, births and funerals are not automatically accompanied by large gatherings of people. It is still common to appoint people to certain roles on such occasions, such as ‘best man’ at a wedding, or godmother and godfather when a child is born. But for most people these appointments are of sentimental significance only. They do not imply lifelong responsibility. In fact, family gatherings of any kind beyond the household unit are rare. For most people, they are confined to the Christmas period.

Even the stereotyped nuclear family of father, mother and children is becoming less common. Britain has a higher rate of divorce than anywhere else in Europe except Denmark and the proportion of children born outside marriage has risen dramatically and is also one of the highest (about a third of all births). However, these trends do not necessarily mean that the nuclear family is disappearing. Divorces have increased, but the majority of marriages in Britain (about 55%) do not break down. In addition, it is notable that about three-quarters of all births outside marriage are officially registered by both parents and more than half of the children concerned are born to parents who are living together at the time. (From “Britain” by James O’Driscoll, Oxford, l995)

Men and women

Generally speaking, British people invest about the same amount of their identity in their gender as people in other parts of northern Europe do. On the one hand, society no longer overtly endorses differences in the public and social roles of men and women, and it is illegal to discriminate on the basis of sex. On the other hand, people still (often unconsciously) expect a fairly large number of differences in everyday behaviour and domestic roles.

In terms of everyday habits and mannerisms, British society probably expects a sharper difference between the sexes than most other European societies do. For example, it is still far more acceptable for a man to look untidy and scruffy than it is for a woman; and it is still far more acceptable for a woman to display emotions and be demonstrably friendly than it is for a man to do so.

As far as roles are concerned, most people assume that a family’s financial situation is not just the responsibility of the man. On the other hand, they would still normally compliment the woman, not the man, on a beautifully decorated or well-kept house. Everyday care of the children is still seen as mainly the woman’s responsibility. Although almost as many women have jobs as men, nearly half of the jobs done by women are part-time. In fact, the majority of mothers with children under the age of twelve either have no job or work only during school hours. Men certainly take a more active domestic role than they did forty years ago. Some things, however, never seem to change. A comparison of child-rearing habits of the l950s and the l980s showed that the proportion of men who never changed a baby’s nappy had remained the same (40%).

In general, the sharpest distinction between the expected roles and behaviour of the two sexes is found in the lower and upper classes. The distinction is far less clear among the middle classes, but it is still there.

At the public level there are contradictions. Britain was one of the first European countries to have a woman Prime Minister and a woman chairperson of debate in its Parliament. However, in the early nineties, only about 5% of MPs were women, only 20% of lawyers in Britain were women, less than 10% of accountants were women and there was one female consultant brain surgeon in the whole country.

At the 1997 election the proportion of women MPs increased sharply (to 18%) and nearly every institution in the country has opened its doors to women now. One of the last to do so was the Anglican Church, which, after much debate, decided in favour of the ordination of women priests in l993. However, there are a few institutions which, at the time of writing, still don’t accept female members – for example, the Oxford and Cambridge Club in London, an association for graduates of these two universities.