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Common Patterns

Finally, I would like to mention some patterns that show up in an improv audition. As always, I'm not saying don't do these things, I'm just saying that the following things often appear in auditions by people who seemingly think that what they are doing is novel.

■ Beginning at the beginning

Because of fear and measurement, a lot of improv scenes in an audi­tion start with unfamiliar relationships and beginnings of conversations. Things like, "Hey, what's up?" and "So, how's it going?" indi­cate two characters with no familiar past getting to know each other in a strange setting.

If there is ever a time to assume familiarity with your partner on stage and start in the middle of a scene (" ... so I finally told her the truth."), it's in an improv audition.

■ Sex

Improvisation is the only place on earth where sex is boring to me, particularly in an audition. Scenes about sex in an audition almost always show up as a consequence of fear, and it's frighteningly trans­parent and not unique. Gay, straight, whatever—these scenes are usually not so funny and certainly overdone.

■ I love

I mentioned this improv syndrome earlier, in speaking about justi­fying and making assessments in a scene. The "I love" thing shows up a lot in auditions, once again, out of fear. So many scenes start with:

"I love playing baseball."

"I love kite flying."

"I love being in a factory."

"I love working at the zoo."

"I love tax time."

"I love ticket taking."

"I love going to the game with you."

But rarely

"I love you."

■ Physical contact

Whether it is strange touching, kissing, or hitting, it's probably inap­propriate. Even if you know the person you are improvising with, the auditors don't know that you know them. You might be sur­prised by how many people slap each other in auditions. It's always disconcerting for those watching.

■ Hands in pockets

Basic, but worth mentioning. A very typical pattern for people in fear is putting their hands in their pockets. Not only will it reinforce your fear, but it will also limit you physically.

Summary

These guidelines are not offered to make you overthink the audition, but lofted in the air as something to lightly keep in mind. The last thing I would want is to provide you with more "don't do this" infor­mation and put you in your head. Read and forget and remember and forget and play.

10 Improvisation and he Second Law of Thermodynamics

I'd like to explore the energy of an improvisational scene as it pertains to the second law of thermodynamics. The following is probably, but not necessarily, a metaphor. Often we speak of a scene's energy. Is that a word we throw around to describe such things as pace, loudness, stage presence, and so on, or is the energy of a scene real? We say, "Pick up the energy in that scene!" or "We lost our energy in that last scene." Energy energy. If an improv scene is a closed system, and the energy we speak of is real, then the scene must adhere to the laws of physics. Two laws of physics are the first and second laws of thermo­dynamics. Does a stupid improv scene adhere to the first and second laws of thermodynamics? Let's find out. And if it does or doesn't, who cares? Let's find out.

First of all, we need to know the definition of energy. Energy is the capacity to do work. What is work in this definition? Work is a force on something moving it a distance. Work = force times distance (W =fd). I would guess that right now you're getting into the "Oh my God, there's an equation and my brain shuts down and I hate this stuff mode. Equations are like that, but just take a look at it. Throw a poodle off a cliff. Throwing a poodle off a cliff is work. You apply a force to the poodle and it travels a distance. In a moment, gravity, another force, takes over and pulls the poodle to the earth, another distance, shattering its manicured body. Work = force (your throw) X distance (how far the ill-fated poodle travels). W = fd: easy. So energy is the capacity to apply a force to something and move it a distance. Easy.

Now let's look at the relentless laws of thermodynamics. The first law is better known than the second.

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