Vin DiCarlo - Pandoras Box (Complete PUA System)

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Modern Woman (NJR)

What to expect

The Modern Woman has a healthy attitude towards sex. She has casual partners until she finds a guy she really likes, and stays with him. She likes to be dominated, but also, takes control, even if she’s a little shy.

Safe

The MW feels safe with a man who is positive and playful, but also passionate. She must feel like you have nothing but a positive intention – to get to know her, give her pleasure, and see where the relationship goes. The best way to convey this is by being very appreciative and reassuring, and also not being afraid to tease her and share some laughs.

Sexy

At first, don’t overdo the sexuality. Keep it light and fun – sex will happen. She’s just as horny as you are. But as you become more intimate, communicate what turns you on about her. Tell her what you like about her body, about how she moves, how she expresses herself. Say it with a loving smile. Be very passionate about her.

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Submissive

The MW is very feminine, and probably also very intelligent. She is aware of her body and her desires. She knows herself and what gets her off. Get her to communicate this to you, by taking the lead in a caring way. Your dominance is about finding out how to please her. Take control, not to use her, but to find out what she likes. Explore her body until you can’t take it anymore and you have to have her. Don’t be afraid to move her body into whatever position you want, and tell her what you are thinking as you fuck her.

Satisfied

Communication and variety will keep her satisfied, as long as the underlying reason or direction for your sex life is to become closer through pleasure.

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ONE GOAL

The Old Way

When you meet a woman you really like, do you know how to keep her? This is a major challenge for most guys, probably second to approaching. The reason for the struggle is that men treat “keeping” a woman as if they were a running back trying to protect a football. It’s this jealous, hoarding, fearful mindset that prevents men from being at their best when they get involved with great women.

We always talk about the beliefs behind mindsets. The belief driving the mindset of “keeping her” is that she a) doesn’t like you enough, and b) that it’s your job to earn her time and attention. As you probably know by now, this is the exact opposite of the dynamic you want with women. You want a woman to already feel attracted to you so that you don’t have to work for her. You want a woman to feel like she has to work for YOU.

This mindset reinforces a self-sabotaging belief and perpetuates the problem. When you constantly try to second guess and pursue women, they run from you, making you think that you must chase harder or smarter. It’s time to flip the script.

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The New Way

In order for a woman to feel attracted to a man, she must feel like he is the prize, and that she is lucky to be a part of HIS life. Hearing this, the average guy’s old beliefs will kick in: well that means I need to make more money, wear cooler clothes, be funnier, grow a bigger dick.

False.

This is exactly the kind of thinking that turned the woman off in the first place. Remember, as men are attracted by how women look, women are attracted to how men think.

So this is where we make the change. (The Attraction Code discussed this in-depth so if you have not read it, you’re fucking up. Just kidding. But seriously.)

You must begin to think like a dominant man, instead of a submissive man. This applies to the content of your thoughts, but more importantly, the direction of your thoughts. For example, let’s say you see a homeless person on the street. When you pass him by, you can think about how much money you will give him. This is a content-thought. But you could be giving him the money because you are scared of looking selfish, or because you want to help a fellow human being. This makes a huge difference in your demeanor and how others perceive you.

So the “direction” of your thoughts is like the “why.” In other words, your intention, your meta direction, guides your thoughts, and thus your actions.

It can be hard to change your intention with women when you are lacking in the dating department. You perceive a lack, and so you chase. This is why it’s extremely important to take a step back and revamp your lifestyle before you can expect a drastic change in your results with women.

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Let’s say you’re dating a beautiful, fun, smart woman. You want to keep her in your life. You are dealing with a whole new set of issues beyond “What do I say to break the ice?” or “How do I get a conversation going?” She is asking herself questions like, “Where is this going? Am I truly important to him? Do we have a future? Do I want to be a part of that future?”

Devotion

Instead of focusing on winning women over, we will now focus on making women devote themselves to us. This may sound like a large task. How can you make a beautiful woman, who can date any man she wants, to devote herself to you? The good news is she wants to, but most men won’t let her.

The bad news is you have to be going somewhere. Well actually that’s good news, unless you want to spend the rest of your days working at Best Buy and your only hobby is watching cable TV.

When your focus is devotion, you’ll find you have more attractive women in your life. This is because women can sense when a man has high standards. It conveys that you are used to attractive women, and a generally good life.

Also, when you are no longer chasing women, you will find that your interactions with women, whether you just met or have been dating for a while, are much more authentic. Think about how nervous and unnatural you act when you are trying to get something from someone. Now think about how confident and happy you are when you feel like you are bringing a lot to the table.

Now what if what you brought to the table was a thought? The easiest thing you can have is a thought, and yet that is what attracts women, and the more powerful your thoughts, the better the women.

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You can have amazing women want to devote themselves to you when you change how you think, because it’s your way of thinking that you “bring to the table,” because that’s what a values the most – in other words, what she is most attracted to.

Self esteem

The first order of business is to change how you feel about yourself. It’s damn-near impossible to expect others to treat you well when you don’t treat yourself well. This begins with reflection.

You’ll need to take some time to get clear on what you really want in life, in terms of women, career, friendships, hobbies, etc. This is a good thing to do regardless of your goals, but it’s especially important when it comes to

women. I actually believe that your relationships with women reflect how you deal with other aspects of your life – women are like mirrors that reflect the degree to which you stay true to yourself.

Once you are clear on what is important to you and what your goals are for the next year or two, you should then begin to coach yourself to yourself.

This is called “self talk” or the inner-dialogue we have as we go through our day. Most people talk to themselves like bullies, or excuse-makers. Think of a coach or cool teacher you had when you were younger. Think about how they treated you. A good coach doesn’t sugar coat problems or complaints, but he doesn’t get upset either. He points out the problem, suggests the first couple steps towards a solution, and reminds you that you have what it takes.

This is how you should talk to yourself. Be patient, reassuring, realistic, and remind yourself that you are unique and capable.You can do it, whatever “it” is, and you will do it in your own cool, special way, because that’s what makes life fun.

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PRINCIPLES

Universal Female Psychology

Men and women have primal functions driving their behavior.An easy way to understand this is to simply think about what turns you on about women, physically. For example, if you like big breasts, a woman with big breasts will turn you on.Awoman can leverage this universal function (attraction to large breasts) by wearing a push up bra, because this will turn you on, even if her

breasts are modest. I call these sorts of functions “evolutionary leverage points.”

Remember that women are more attracted to how you think than how you look. So when it comes to leverage points, we’ll focus on the mental dynamics of your relationships with women.

Compliance

If you’ve ever played poker, you know what it means to be “pot-committed.” As you put more money into the pot, it becomes harder to fold. This is because it is painful to give up (fold) and think that all that time and thought and money went to waste.

This is the result of the cognitive dissonance function in our brains. With women, we’ll leverage this function to make women feel “pot committed” by getting compliance.

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There are three types of compliance, but many techniques to get compliance. The three types of compliance are emotional, sexual, and practical.

Emotional compliance means a woman has shared deep personal experiences with you, or has shown you a very emotional side of herself. She has been emotionally vulnerable with you. This is a big deal and must be recognized and respected.

Sexual compliance means she has pushed her sexual limits with you, exploring new activities and mindsets. Taking a woman’s virginity is an obvious example, but anything situation where she does something more “freaky” or different than what she is used to is sexual compliance and creates cognitive dissonance.

Practical compliance is some sort of physical effort she makes for you. This could be a time-commitment, something she buys for you, cooking you a meal, or anything that can be seen physically.

Us Frame

For women, the bond they have with a man is much more important than how physically attracted she is to him. Women are in a quite precarious situation when it comes to dating and sex. They want to have sex, but sex brings with it some inherent risks that men don’t have to deal with. For example, pregnancy, a higher risk of contracting an STD, and in our long history as a species, death during childbirth.

If a woman embarks on the ultimate adventure with a man, creating another human being, she is at risk. Now of course she enjoys the process, and has a biological urge to have children. But her worst-case scenario is that the man will leave as soon as he is done having sex with her, abandoning her to fend for herself with a child in her, or in-tow.