Part I: Why get married?
I. Discuss these questions with a partner. Share your opinions with the rest of the group.
1. In your opinion, what are the three commonest reasons people decide to get married?
2. Do you think marriage is 'a thing of the past'?
3. Do you know someone who has had a long and happy marriage? Why has it lasted?
4. Why do you think there is such a high divorce rate in many developed countries?
5. Are married people treated differently from single people in your experience? In what ways?
II. Read this newspaper article and answer the questions below in pairs or small groups: last to marry wins!
A group of unmarried male friends in New Jersey made a strange bet 20 years ago when they were all still at high school. They drew up a contract and set up a special bank account to hold the money they had each bet.
The pot of money grew until it was several thousand dollars and John Cheney was the lucky winner - because he is now the group's last remaining bachelor. He collected his winnings from his friends at a pub last Saturday. '"I guess I just haven't found the right person," said Cheney, now 38 years old.
The whole story started when two of the group bet a six-pack of beer over which one would be the last to get married. The group eventually grew to nine men, all 1981 graduates of Haddonfield Memorial High School.
"We all thought we'd be bachelors for a long time," said Mike Koontz, also 38. He was the first member of the group to get married, walking down the aisle in 1987. He always thought John would win the money. "He's a real confirmed bachelor," said Mike.
What was the prize?
Why hasn't Cheney got married?
Why did they make the bet?
Do you think a group of young women would have made the same bet?
Was John Cheney's wait worth it?
What is a 'confirmed bachelor'?
'Belinda,
will you make me the happiest man in the world and divorce me?"
III. Divide the following expressions into two groups:
B = before marriage A = after marriage
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1. go on honeymoon |
12. propose to them |
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2. meet someone you like |
13. have an affair with someone |
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3. talk about marriage |
14. walk down the aisle |
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4. become friends |
15. get engaged |
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5. get pregnant |
16. start going out with them |
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6. meet their family |
17. see a marriage counsellor |
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7. plan the wedding |
18. get separated |
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8. have a stag / hen night |
19. get divorced |
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9. have kids |
20. find someone attractive |
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10. bring up children |
21. start to get close |
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11. start having marriage problems |
22. get back together again |
With a partner, choose 10 of the expressions in the box and put them in the ideal order for you.
IV. Discussion. a) In 2002, Rutgers University in the US released the results of a study which lists the top 10 reasons men are waiting longer these days to get married. In pairs or groups, discuss if you think each is a valid argument.
TOP 10 REASONS WHY MEN ARE RELUCTANT TO COMMIT TO MARRIAGE
1. They can have sex outside marriage more easily than in the past.
2. They can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabiting rather than marrying.
3. They want to avoid divorce and its financial risks.
4. They want to wait until they are older to have children.
5. They are afraid that marriage will require too many changes and compromises.
6. They are waiting for the perfect soulraate, and she hasn't yet appeared.
7. In the US there are few social pressures to marry.
8. They are reluctant to marry a woman who already has children.
9. They want to own a house before they get a wife.
10. They want to enjoy life as a single man as long as they can.
b) With a partner, choose one of the following situations. Prepare your part in the conversation for 2 minutes, then have the conversation.
a. Your son/daughter is now 30 and you want them to settle down. Try to talk them into it.
b. You have been going out with your partner for 3 years and are looking for a bigger commitment. Try to persuade them to think about getting married.
c. Your best friend is deciding whether or not to get married. Try to talk them into it.
d. Your best friend is deciding whether or not to get married. Try to talk them out of it.