There’s Nothing Like Roast Saddle of Mutton

Mr. Cawley: Waiter!

W: Yes, sir. What will you order?

Mr. C: Will you please bring me the bill of fare?

W: Excuse me. Here it is.

Mr. C: Oh, you have quite a long list of dishes. Well, what would you recommend for the first course?

W: You mean soups? I think there’s nothing like chicken soup with pies. It’s our cook’s favourite job.

Mr. C: Indeed? All right then chicken soup. And choosing a grill, what would you offer?

W: If you want to have a marvellous meal, order roast saddle of mutton. You’ll enjoy it, I assure you. Well, what about the sweet, sir? A cup of coffee, cakes, apple juice, drinks?

Mr. C: Just bring me a glass of juice for a start.

***

Alan: Will you show us the bill of fare?

W: Here you are, sir. And this is the wine list.

A: Well, you may remove it as we are not going to take any drink. We’re driving, you know. We mean to have a snack and that’s all. Have you got lobsters?

W: I’m sorry, sir, but they are not on the menu.

A: And what about salmon?

W: We have run out of it.

A: What a nuisance! Well, what is that famous food you treat your customers to?

W: Chicken broth is our speciality, sir.

3. At Supper

Mrs. A: Well, let’s get supper ready.

John: What are we having for supper?

Mrs. A: Fish.

J: And chips?

Mrs. A: No, just boiled potatoes and lettuce. I’m afraid I haven’t time for chips.

J: Oh, Mum, let’s have chips.

Mrs. A: I said I hadn’t time, didn’t I?

Mary: I’ll make the chips if you like.

Mrs. A: All right, but get on with it. And John, you’d better set the table, will you?

J: Okay, Mum.

(During supper)

Mr. A: Pass me the tomato sauce, will you, John?

J: Here you are, Dad.

Mr. A: Thanks.

Mrs. A: Another piece of fish, John?

J: Yes, please a small one and another helping of chips if I may.

Mrs. A: Yes, of course. There’s plenty left. Help yourself to some lettuce, Mary, it’s good for you.

Mary: No, thank you, Mummy, you gave me such a large helping.

Mrs. A: A bit of cheese then?

Mary: Yes, please, and I could do with a piece of that nice brown bread.

Mrs. A: Here you are, dear.

4. English Cooking

Brenda: Do you miss home cooking a lot or are you getting used to English food, Olga?

Olga: Oh, Oh, there are quite a lot of dishes I miss badly. Our food is different from yours. But I must say English food is much better than I thought it was going to be.

B: Really? What are your favourite English dishes?

O: First of all I think your dairy products are so fresh and your meat is usually so tender …

B: Yes, but what English dishes do you particularly like? Or don’t you like any of them?

O: Well, I’m a little tired of your fish and chips, and roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is only good when properly cooked at home. I don’t like the way you cook your vegetables either, and …

B: So you don’t really like any of our food, do you?

O: Oh no, I didn’t say that.

B: Well?

O: I’m very fond of the steak and kidney pudding and I like your apple pies….

B: It’s very nice of you to say so.

O: And I think your cooked breakfasts are simply marvellous.

B: Glad you like them.