14.3 Problems

My problem is with my mother, who is now well over 70 and a widow and becoming very fragile, and she really needs my help. But where she lives, in the country, there’s no work available for me - I’m a designer - and she can’t come and live with me because she says she doesn’t like the climate because it’s too bad for her rheumatism, which is actually true - it’s very cold here. And if I go and work there as something else where she lives, perhaps as a secretary, it means we have to take a drastic drop in salary. So I don’t really know what to do.

15.1 Origin and duration

Dialogue 1

A: Hmm. You’re a good squash player. How long have you been playing?

В: Oh, I’ve been playing since the beginning of last term. What about you ?

A: Me ? Oh, I’ve been playing for about two years now - but I’m still not very good.

Dialogue 2

A: I suppose you know how to waltz, do you ?

B: Yes, but not very well, I’m afraid. I only learnt a few weeks ago. When did you learn?

A: Oh, I learnt to waltz in about 1970 - just after I left school. Er - shall we dance, then ?

Dialogue 3

A: And this is my cousin, Sue.

В: Ah yes - we already know each other actually.

A: Do you ? How long have you known each other, then ?

B: Oh, we’ve known each other for about six months now, I think, haven’t we? С: Oh no much longer than that. We met about a year ago, at that Christmas party — remember?

17.6 Tastes in common

Woman A: I can’t stand places like Majorca or the Costa Brava.

Man: No, nor can I.

Woman A: You know, where you have to share the beach with thousands of other people and everyone speaks English.

Woman В: Oh I don’t mind that.

Man: Oh I do. I never go to places like that. I like to get right away from all the tourists, go somewhere that’s really quiet and peaceful, like an island or something.

Woman A: Yes, so do I - where no-one speaks English.

Woman В: What’s wrong with people speaking English ? I like meeting people when I’m on holiday. I like places with a good night life, and plenty of men around, and ... well, you know, where you can have a good time ...

18.6 Freedom of choice

When parents make a lot of rules about their children’s behaviour, they make trouble - for themselves. I used to spend half my time making sure my rules were obeyed, and the other half answering questions like ‘Jack can get up whenever he likes, so why can’t I ?’ or ‘Why can’t I play with Angela ? Jack’s mum doesn’t mind who be plays with.’ or ‘Jack can drink anything he likes. Why can’t I drink wine too ?’ Jack’s mum, I decided, was a wise woman. I started saying things like ‘Of course, dear. You can drink as much wine as you like.’ and ‘No, I don’t mind how late you get up.’ and ‘Yes, dear, you can play with Angela as often as you like.’ The results have been marvellous. They don’t want to get up late any more, they’ve decided they don’t like wine, and, most important, they’ve stopped playing with Angela. I’ve now realised (as Jack’s mum realised a long time ago) that they only wanted to do all these nasty things because they weren’t allowed to.