Epilogue

I don't know any more now about what lies beyond this life than I did six years ago when I'd almost killed an eighteen-year-old kid. I keep trying to pry it out of Perry, but she won't tell me. Partly because she's not allowed to, and partly because she says it would spoil the surprise. She says I'll just have to wait and see.

I know she worries about me. She worries that I don't have somebody in my life. I tell her I do have somebody. I have her. Every night. She says she doesn't want me to be alone, that she wants me to be happy. She's also threatened to stop visiting me, but I know that's just talk. She couldn't get along without me any more than I could get along without her. She's just worried. Despite my reassurances, she doesn't seem to understand completely that I am happy, and I am not alone. I have friends. I have my work. I have Jaime, along with my newest addition to the family, the stray mutt who followed me home. I've named him Buster and he's great company.

I'll be honest and tell you that I did toy with the idea of taking my own life, just so I could be with Perry again, this time on the same plane, but she wouldn't allow it. She said I have a purpose in life, that everybody is here for a reason, and everybody has a designated time to go. Since I trust Perry with all my heart, I had no choice but to live. I know we'll be together eventually, so for now, I'm okay. I'll keep working on her. She'll believe me one of these days when I tell her I'm perfectly content with my existence.

I haven't told my friends about her. Somehow, I don't think they'd have the same reaction I do. I'm afraid they'd think I had a screw loose if I told them about my ghost lover, the dead woman who visits me in my dreams. Sarah would think I've gone completely off my rocker. She tried for a long time to fix me up with various friends, and although they were very nice women, none of them compared to Perry. After a couple years and because she's such a good friend, Sarah gave up and left me to my life of a bachelorette. She doesn't understand it, but she respects it. Maybe someday, I'll fill her in, but not right now.

I'm sure you may be rolling your eyes at me, too, wondering how I could possibly have settled for such a life. Maybe you think I'm insane. Maybe I am. All I can tell you is, when I drift off at night, and I end up in a field of wildflowers to find Perry waiting for me on a blanket, with a basket of fresh fruits and sandwiches, a bottle of wine, and that loving smile, I'm happier than I ever thought I could be. Nothing else matters but the love that awaits me in the blue depths of her eyes. I'm home.