- •Is at least negatively reassuring; because here, this morning, is where it has
- •Into the low damp dark living room, they agreed how cozy it would be at
- •Indifferent to him ex-cept as a character in their myths. It is only George
- •Vacant lot with a tray of bottles and a shaker, announces joyfully, in Marine
- •It would be amusing, George thinks, to sneak into that apartment
- •Impenetrable forest of cars abandoned in despair by the students during the
- •Intonation which his public demands of him, speaks his opening line: "Good
- •Irritation" in blandese. The mountains of the San Gabriel Range — which still
- •Is nearly always about what they have failed to do, what they fear the
- •Virile informality of the young male students. Most of these wear sneakers
- •If for a highly respectable party.
- •In the class. The fanny thing is that Dreyer, with the clear conscience of
- •It's George and the entire Anglo-American world who have been
- •In a cellar — "
- •Imaginary. And no threat is ever quite imaginary. Anyone here disagree with
- •Village in mind as the original of his Gonister. George is unable to answer
- •I mean, you seem to see what each one is about, and it's very crude and
- •Involvement. They simply wish each other well. Again, as by the tennis
- •Veteran addict, has already noted that the morning's pair has left and that
- •Indeed. But now, grounded, unsparkling, unfollowed by spotlights, yet
- •It should ever he brought here — stupefied by their drugs, pricked by their
- •Very last traces of the Doris who tried to take Jim from him have vanished
- •I am alive, he says to himself, I am alive! And life- energy surges
- •In the locker room, George takes off his clothes, gets into his sweat socks,
- •Idiot. He clowns for them and does magic tricks and tells them stories,
- •It? Today George feels more than usually unwilling to leave the gym. He
- •Instances does George notice the omission which makes it meaningless.
- •Is a contraption like a gallows, with a net for basketball attached to it.
- •It's a delicious smell and that it makes him hungry.
- •Violet, with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows; a gipsyish Mexican skirt
- •Is not unmoved. He is truly sorry for Charley and this mess — and yet — la
- •In Buddy's blood — though it certainly can't be any longer. Debbie would
- •Is still filthy with trash; high-school gangs still daub huge scandalous words
- •Into a cow-daze, watching it. This is what most of the customers are doing,
- •In your car?"
- •Impersonal. It's a symbolic encounter. It doesn't involve either party
- •Impersonal. It's a symbolic encounter. It doesn't involve either party
- •Is was" — he downs the rest of his drink in one long swallow — "it's about
- •Intent upon his own rites of purification, George staggers out once more,
- •It's rather a slow process, I'm afraid, but that's the best we can do."
- •Important and corny, like some big sin or something. And the way they look
- •I keep it made up with clean sheets on it, just on the once-in-a-blue moon
- •Its consciousness — so to speak — are swarming with hunted anxieties, grimjawed
Impersonal. It's a symbolic encounter. It doesn't involve either party
personally. That's why, in a dialogue, you can say absolutely anything. Even
the closest confidence, the deadliest secret, comes out objectively as a mere
metaphor or illustration which could never be used against you.
George would like to explain all of this to Kenny. But it is so
complicated, and he doesn't want to run the risk of finding that Kenny can't
understand him. More than anything, he wants Kenny to understand, wants
to be able to believe that Kenny knows what this dialogue is all about. And
really, at this moment, it seems possible that Kenny does know. George can
almost feel the electric field of the dialogue surrounding and irradiating
them. He certainly feels irradiated. As for Kenny, he looks quite beautiful.
Radiant with rapport is the phrase which George finds to describe him. For
what shines out of Kenny isn't mere intelligence or any kind of switched-on
charm. There the two of them sit, smiling at each other — oh, far more than
that — fairly beaming with mutual insight.
"Say something," he commands Kenny.
"Do I have to?"
"Yes."
"What'll I say?"
"Anything. Anything that seems to be important, right now."
"That's the trouble. I don't know what is important and what isn't. I
feel like my head is stopped up with stuff that doesn't matter — I mean, matter
to me."
"Such as — "
81
"Look, I don't mean to be personal, sir — but — well, the stuff our classes
are about — " "Yes, I suppose so — unless they're in love."
"Maybe they are even then. Maybe that's what's wrong with — " Kenny
breaks off abruptly. George watches him, expecting to hear some confidence
about Lois. But it doesn't come. For Kenny is obviously following some
quite different train of thought. He sits smiling in silence for a few moments
and — yes, actually — he is blushing! "This sounds as corny as hell, but — "
"Never mind. Go ahead."
"I sometimes wish — I mean, when you read those Victorian novels — I'd
have hated living in those days, all except for one thing — oh, hell — I can't say
it!" He breaks off, blushing and laughing.
"Don't be silly!"
83
"When I say it, it's so corny, it's the end! But — I'd have liked living
when you could call your father sir."
"Is your father alive?"
"Oh, sure."
"Why don't you call him sir, then? Some sons do, even nowadays."
"Not my father. He isn't the type. Besides, he isn't around. He ran out
on us a couple of years ago... Hell!"
"What's the matter?"
"Whatever made me tell you all that? Am I drunk or something?"
"No more drunk than I am."
"I must be stoned."
"Look — if it bothers you — let's forget you told me."
"I won't forget."
"Oh yes, you will. You'll forget if I tell you to forget."
"Will I?"
"You bet you will!"
"Well, if you say so — okay."
"Okay, sir."
"Okay, sir!" Kenny suddenly beams. He is really pleased — so pleased
that his own pleasure embarrasses him. "Say, you know — when I came over
here — I mean, when I thought I might just happen to run into you this
evening — there was something I wanted to ask you. I just remembered what