London. Surburbia

In the Victorian era, a side-effect of the Industrial revolution accidentally created a bomb consisting of homeless workers, immigrants and ordinary workers, and... the Irish... (oops the Heathen word) who suddenly decided they wanted more space. The bomb was detonated in the early 20th century, and the resulted fallout lasted right up to the late 1930s. Numerous countryside and small towns and villages were sucked into the explosion, and leaving behind a wasteland consisting of mile after mile of suburban housing. Adolf Hitler tried to change this during the war, but sadly not to much effect apart from killing 30,000 people and blowing up some houses in his 'regeneration' plan. In revenge, the British went off and had Dresden completely redeveloped. The Americans tried and tried to repeat what had happened to London but got the wrong end of the planet. Fucking inaccurate hill-billies.

In the Swinging '60s, the planners removed some of the highly toxic waste from the suburbs and took it to landfill sites such as Basingrad, Basildon, Woking and Harlow. Unfortunately they made it worse by building masses of concrete. One good achievement was solving feuding between the outer suburbs by drawing lines around their territories. This created 32 boroughs, which ranges from the Royal Borough of Kingston to the Empire of Brixton Lambeth. However, London has not always been left in peace. In 1977 a Nazi invasion was thwarted in the Battle of Lewisham while immigration control was taken to extremes in the War of Notting Hill. In recent years, Croydon has emerged as the leader of all suburbs.

[Edit] People

London is full of soft, homosexual, Southern fairies who enjoy prancing about and thinking that they are better than the north of England, this due to the fact that they are the only English who do not marry their mothers. The accent is somewhere between bollocks and jibberish, making most of the male population sound and act queer. London has spawned numerous cunts like Jamie Oliver, James Blunt, Damon Albarn, the Royal Family, anyone asscociated with Wimbledon (tennis) and anyone associated with football clubs. Nuff Said!

At least one person in London is named Bob, although it has been rumoured that there may be as many as three.

By contrast, at least seven, including everyone called Bob, are known as Bruce.

Cockneys are infamous for being bastard loud. They will most likely say things like "Diet Coke is for fat people initt?!" just before you buy a diet coke. Then shout "Weh" when they see you with it. Or say "Jog on".See also Ian Dury.

The best representation of the London accent committed to film was that of Dick van Dyke in "Mary Poppins". van Dyke studied the cockney accent for a year before filming his scenes, and Londoners were taken aback by the accuracy of his accent and his mastery of phrases like "got a spare fag, mate?", "wot chew lookin at?", "excuse me, does this bus go to Streatham?" and "fackin 'ell".

For real London music there are "Ian, Chas and Dave Dury", a lively 3-some of singers of old cockney songs like "Shut up, your dad is on nights", "Stop bloody talking so much", "I love London birds, they don't mind you getting pissed" and the immortal "Hit me with your sideboard full of beer".

Chavs, a group of usually young boys and young girls with baby push chairs who wear Burberry plaid apparel and "Nickelson" shirts with their collar standing, they can sometimes be found wearing track suits and Reebok trainers although they've never seen the inside of a gym or place of work before. They normally occupy the benches outside McDonalds or KFC. Most of them have been awarded by the Queen the High Honour of ASBO. Once a year they all get together and attend the "who's on the most benefits" conference, at the Burger King in West King Road in London, last years winner was Dave Townsend with £1.50 a week, he is considered a millionaire by other chavs, to everyone else, he is a cock.