Flexibility

Many families throughout the world have shown remarkable resiliency, or flexible adjustment, to natural, economic and social challenges.

Family flexibility is the ability to cultivate strengths within a family that will help all members meet the challenges of life positively. Because families show flexibility in unique ways, there are no universal rules for success. Flexible families:

• work towards shared goals through self-sacrifice, persistence, and loyalty to other family members

• are resilient to change rules and share decisions that stimulate growth and health

• develop healthy lifestyles.

Resilient individuals demonstrate the following traits:

• Insight: seeing things as they really are and not being afraid to ask questions

• Independence: becoming one’s own person and not caught up in being someone else

• Healthy Relationships: connecting with peers and friends in ways that build self-worth and belonging

• Initiative: developing interests, talents, confidence and leadership abilities

• Humour: willing to laugh at self and with others

• Creativity: using art, sports, etc. to express one’s uniqueness.

Families that learn how to cope with challenges and meet individual needs are more flexible to stress and crisis. They learn to solve problems with cooperation, creative brainstorming and openness to others. A family’s goals, values, problem-solving skills and support affect its adaptation to long-term stress and crisis.

Read the statement under each trait. Place a 5 by the statement that is MOST like you and a 1 – that is LEAST like you. Add up your score for the first item under each trait and place in the space by number 1 at the bottom of the page. Add up your score for the second item under each trait and place in the space by number 2 at the bottom of the page. If your score is higher under number 1, your flexibility is probably pretty good. If your score is higher under number 2, your flexibility could probably be improved.

Insight

1. ______________ I can sense when something in a relationship is going bad

2. ______________ My friends don’t seek my advice on relationship problems

Independence

1. ______________ I enjoy being my own person

2. ______________ People are always pulling me into their conflicts

RELATIONSHIPS

1. ______________ Listening and making friends are my strong suits

2. ______________ I often have no one to talk to about my problems

Initiative

1. ______________ I am always coming up with and trying out new ideas

2. ______________ When there is a problem I usually wait for others to act

HUMOUR

1. ______________ I often see the funny side of things and can laugh at myself

2. ______________ When I am feeling down, it is no time to joke

CREATIVITY

1. ______________ My talents for art, crafts, music and others help me distress

2. ______________ I get run down and burned out with nothing to refresh me

TOTAL SCORE 1. ____________ 2. ____________

Analyze the results you’ve got. Prove your conclusion through examples from your life. Write some sentences.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

All about us

How well do you cope with stress? Complete this quick assessment to find out. In the blank, put a 0 – if the statement is definitely not true for you; 1 – if it is usually not true; 2 – if it is somewhat true; 3 – if it is definitely true.

1. ____ When I study hard, it makes a difference.

2. ____ Getting out of bed in the morning is easy for me.

3. ____ I have the freedom I want.

4. ____ At times, I have sacrificed for an exciting opportunity.

5. ____ Sticking to my routine is not important to me.

6. ____ I participate in community activities because I think it makes a

difference.

7. ____ I believe you make your own lucky breaks.

8. ____ I agree with the goals of my family.

9. ____ I strive to be a loving person to myself and others.

10. ____ I believe I get what I give.

11. ____ It is important for me to try new things.

12. ____ Free time is a gift I really enjoy.

13. ____ I work hard to help my family and I am rewarded for it.

14. ____ My family is a great pleasure to me.

15. ____ I speak up for what I believe in.

ADD YOUR SCORES FOR 1, 6, 7, 9, AND 13. TOTAL: _____

This is your stress management score. The higher it is, the more you are able to manage your stress and control your life.

ADD YOUR SCORES FOR 2, 3, 8, 10, AND 14. TOTAL: _____

This is your commitment score. The higher it is, the more you are committed to and enjoy life.

ADD YOUR SCORES FOR 4, 5, 11, 12, AND 15. TOTAL:______

This is your risk score. The higher it is, the more willing you are to take risks.

ADD ALL THREE SCORES TOGETHER. OVERALL SCORE: ______

This is your coping score.

If your overall score is 35 or above, you have very good coping skills.

If your overall score is 27 - 34, you have good coping skills.

If your overall score is 18 - 26, look at your habits & attitudes to improve your coping skills.

If your score is below 18, take time NOW to change your habits and attitudes.

Are you surprised by the results or are they what you expected them to be like? Do you agree with them? Why? Why not? Give a piece of advice to your peer how to cope with stressful situation. Write three sentences.

1. ________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

Decide what you want to stand for. Answer the questions below and write your group mission statement.

What is most important to you about your group?

What are your collective goals?

When do you feel most connected to one another?

How would you like to relate to one another?

Describe your group’s strengths.

What do you value? (For example, relationships, faith, independence, wealth, hard work, generosity)

All about us

GROUP MISSION

STATEMENT

“GROUP” means ____________

_________________________

________________________

________________________

Our GROUP mission statement:

________________________

________________________

________________________

________________________

________________________

________________________

What are your family values?