The Embarrassment Rule

In fact, the only rule one can identify with any certainty in all this confusion over introductions and greetings is that, to be impeccably English, one must perform these rituals badly. One must appear self-conscious, ill-atease, stiff, awkward and, above all, embarrassed. Smoothness, glibness and confidence are inappropriate and un-English. Hesitation, dithering and ineptness are, surprising as it may seem, correct behaviour. Introductions should be performed as hurriedly as possible, but also with maximum inefficiency. If disclosed at all, names must be mumbled; hands should be tentatively half-proffered and then clumsily withdrawn; the approved greeting is something like ‘Er, how, um, plstm-, er, hello?’ If you are socially skilled, or come from a country where these matters are handled in a more reasonable, straightforward manner (such as anywhere else on the planet), you may need a bit of practice to achieve the required degree of embarrassed, stilted incompetence.

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF THE RUSSIAN CONVERSATION CODES? DO YOU THINK THE ABOVEMENTIONED RULES ARE TYPICALLY BRITISH OR COULD ANY OF THEM BE APPLIED AND ACCEPTED FOR COMMUNICATION NEEDS IN RUSSIA?

HERE ARE SOME SAMPLE DIALOGUES TO ASSESS FROM THE STANDPOINT OF THE DEGREE OF FORMALITY AND THEIR BRITISH/AMERICAN FLAVOUR. ACT THEM OUT IN PAIRS PAYING SPECIAL ATTENTION TO PHONETIC MEANS. DISCUSS THEM WITH YOUR TEACHER.

1.ROBERT: Mr. Caldwell, I’d like you to meet my mother.

MR. CALDWELL: Mrs. Rienzo, I’m pleased to meet you.

MRS. RIENZO: Robert enjoys your class very much.

MR. CALDWELL: Thank you. I enjoy having him in class.

MRS. RIENZO: It was very nice meeting you.

MR. CALDWELL: Same here. Good –bye.

2.TIM: John, I’d like you to meet my friend, Joan Sullivan. Joan, this is John Tracey.

JOAN (shaking hands with John): It’s nice to meet you.

NOTICE THAT THE PERSON DOING THE INTRODUCTION PROVIDES A LITTLE INFO ABOUT THE PERSON THAT IS BEING INTRODUCED. THIS MIGHT SERVE AS A CONVERSATION STARTER FOR THE PEOPLE INTRODUCED.

3. TOM: Mr. O’Malley, I’d like you to meet my friend, Maria Carlos. She is an exchange student from Spain and is majoring in computer science.

MR. O’MALLEY: I’m glad to meet you. I hope you’ve been able to get the courses you want. Computer technologies are so popular.

MARIA: Yes, thank you, I have. Fortunately there are many courses to choose from. Well, I have to go to class now. I certainly enjoyed meeting you.

MR. O’MALLEY: I hope we’ll meet again. Good-bye.

MARIA: Good-bye.

3. JAMES: (at a party where he doesn’t know anyone) Hallo (Hi), my name is James Jones.

ANNA: Hi, I’m Anna Wells. It’s nice to meet you.

JAMES: Do you know any people here? I don’t know a single person!

ANNA: Really? Let me introduce you to some of my friends. I’d like you to meet Mary Kempe. She goes to East High school and is a real sports enthusiast.

JAMES: Nice to meet you. What sports are you interested in?

MARY: Running and jogging…

СONCLUDE THE CONVERSATION

ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW AMERICANS OR BRITONS GREET EACH OTHER AND COMPARE THEIR CUSTOMS WITH THE WAYS IN THIS COUNTRY.

• Who makes the introduction? (either the person who wishes to meet another or a friend who knows the other person)

• Who should be introduced to whom? (A woman to a man; a younger person to an older one; a subordinate to a superior)

• What should you say?

• May a person introduce himself to a woman? May a woman introduce herself to a man?

• What body language should a person use?

• What tone of voice should one use?

• Should you shake hands?

• Do people embrace or kiss people of the same sex upon meeting? Does one kiss or hug children when introduced?

MAKE UP A WHAT YOU THINK MODEL DIALOGUE ILLUSTRATING THE RULES OF INTRODUCTION AND ENGLISH WEATHER SPEAK AND ACT IT OUT WITH YOUR GROUPMATE(S).