- •I thought for a moment. “I don’t know. If I did, I don’t remember.”
- •I looked out at the Japanese maple. “Nice weather we’re having.”
- •I covered the receiver with my hand and repeated this to Abby.
- •Chapter Two
- •I leaned against the back door. Jane often had an interesting tale to tell, and, thanks to the volume of her voice, it was easy to eavesdrop on her phone calls. Only the odd word or two escaped me.
- •I looked at my mother, who looked pointedly at Karen’s hair.
- •I couldn’t blame Hunter or his drinking for the accident, though both had an effect on the aftermath. If he’d been sober, I’d still be called Frankie.
- •I let him carry on the rest of the way without comment. It felt like my eye had been whacked with a hammer.
- •I watched Marilyn change the IV bag and punch buttons on the various machines.
- •I closed my eyes and tried to think of something clever to say about Oedipus. Nothing came to mind. I checked the window again.
- •I shrugged. “He came stumbling in around midnight and started bugging me. When I told him to leave me alone, he grabbed me from behind, wrapped his arms around my chest, and started squeezing.”
- •I made a wry face. “Oh? And what about your boyfriend, Brad? I assume he’s the reason you’re getting dressed and putting on makeup.”
- •I watched the shaft of moonlight until I fell asleep, sometime after midnight. I dreamed about field corn, and Abby, and my name.
- •I remained where I was. Unless she got up to pinch me—and she’d been known to—I didn’t bother to correct myself.
- •I looked at my mother. “I wish they made seatbelts for mouths,” I said.
- •I should have gone straight over to Susan’s house.
- •I pulled up a chair and sat down next to Nana.
- •I blew the flame out. “Do you want me to let the dog go? I’d be more than happy to let him bite your hand off.”
- •I said, “Louise called, Abby. She said Belvedere’s doing fine. The Rimadyl is already working wonders.”
- •I closed my eyes and pressed my lips against her ear. “I don’t know what to do,” I said softly, not sure I wanted her to hear me.
- •I held her hand for a moment, savoring the sensation. Then I let it go.
- •I chewed the last of my Portobello. Susan ordered dessert, a crème brûlée.
- •I caught my mother’s eye. It was choke, not laugh.
- •I felt myself tensing up. I took a deep breath, willing my muscles to relax. “The guys you’ve dated. Did you do this with any of them?”
- •I laughed. “I’m not early. You’re late. Please note, however, that I didn’t blow the horn. I didn’t even get out and knock.”
- •I pulled the waistband of my underwear down and considered my reflection in the bathroom’s full-length mirror. My hysterectomy scar was still angry and red.
- •I buckled my belt and walked through the door Abby held open for me.
- •I laughed. “It sneaks up on you. Abby and I were watching vh1 the other night. They had some nostalgia show on, and what it was nostalgic for was the eighties.”
- •I hesitated. “I’m afraid she’ll fall into the wrong hands. I caught Jake holding her under the pond with a stick.”
- •I shook my head emphatically. “No way. She’ll have gravy,” I said to the woman with the hairnet, “and so will I.”
- •I nodded, taking a bite of dill pickle. “Yes. People had extra-marital affairs in 1923, just like they do now.”
- •I waited. Whatever I said, I didn’t want to sound shocked. The problem was that I was shocked.
- •I pushed away the plate of half-eaten roast beef and covered it with my napkin.
- •I opened my mouth to say, “What do you mean,” but I knew what she meant.
- •I laughed. “a kind of Stray Cats meets the Talking Heads sort of thing?”
- •I was beginning to feel the effects of a heavy dinner and a good deal of wine, and even though it meant the risk of falling asleep mid-sentence, I wanted to be more comfortable.
- •I refused to meet him at the Brentwood, suggesting instead that we meet for dinner at a Chinese restaurant called the Hang Chow. I told him that my mother and Nana would be coming with me.
- •I stood up. “Hi, Shirley. Please, have a seat.”
- •I nodded. “College. I want to be a professor.”
- •I propped my feet up on the glass-topped coffee table and picked a book from my mother’s library pile. It was Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown. I’d never heard of it.
- •I nodded happily. “I have my mother’s chariot for the evening. It’s at your disposal.”
- •I stepped into the weird hospital elevator with its facing doors and pressed the button for the fourth floor.
- •I made a whooshing sound.
- •I stood there, dumbstruck. Condensation from the glass in my hand dripped down my arm. Jean finished her drink and poured another.
- •I laughed. “You and me both. Tell me, before you left for Yugoslavia, were you seeing anyone?”
- •I nodded dumbly. Susan stepped back. Had I been blind? There had always been someone. I relied on her, I couldn’t live without her, I loved her.
- •I took the doll from her and put it back on the dresser. Across the hall, the bathroom door opened. My mother stood there, holding a curling iron.
- •I picked up a Life magazine and sat next to Abby on the bed. “Can I offer you some reading material? This is all about Jackie Kennedy.”
- •In the personnel office, Edna spoke to a gray-haired woman in gold-rimmed glasses who, according to her nameplate, was Marcella Rockway.
- •I nodded. Abby bristled, and I saw Edna put a hand on her arm.
- •I stared at her in amazement. Nana could be stubborn, but I’d never known her to stand up to my grandfather so firmly that he backed down.
- •I opened my mouth to say I didn’t care what it cost. Abby put her hand on my leg again. She shook her head slightly.
- •I said, “How can you just sit there like you’re attending a second grade piano recital? You’re polite, but you’re bored. You’re waiting for it all to be over.”
- •I sat up. I didn’t want to look at her, and I didn’t want to cry, so I closed my eyes.
- •I took her by the hands and helped her to her feet. “Thanks for the warning, but I’ve made my decision. It’s you, me, and Rosalyn. I just hope she doesn’t hog the covers.”
- •I glanced at the illuminated dial of my watch. “I don’t care about the speeding ticket. Put your foot down.”
- •I hung up the phone. “I’ll just bet,” I said, putting my credit card back into my wallet. Abby came out of the bathroom, a white towel wrapped around her body.
- •Vivian laughed. “What’s your favorite color, Poppy?”
I took the doll from her and put it back on the dresser. Across the hall, the bathroom door opened. My mother stood there, holding a curling iron.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I told her at six o’clock to start getting ready, but you know how she is. She stayed in the tub for so long, she nearly melted.”
“It’s all right,” I said. I glanced at my watch. “The Kanki is open for another couple of hours. If we don’t make it, we can always go to the Waffle House. They’re open all night.”
“Yuck.” My mother addressed Abby. “She was always a smart ass, you know. Even as a small child.”
“I can believe it,” Abby replied.
“You have the patience of a saint.” She closed the bathroom door. I could hear Nana pottering around in the living room. I couldn’t tell what she was doing. From the sound of it, she was kicking over the stack of books that still propped up the dining room table.
I picked up a Life magazine and sat next to Abby on the bed. “Can I offer you some reading material? This is all about Jackie Kennedy.”
“Oh, thank you,” she replied. Her stomach growled. “Mind if I just eat this?”
“I warned you.”
“I know.”
“You are a saint.”
“Oh no, I’m not. No one’s ever written a poem about my nose.”
Return of the Jedi was both better and worse than I’d hoped. Better because the special effects were amazing, worse because I was too old for ewoks. Abby and I agreed that whoever had come up with them needed to be strangled.
We sat in the back of the theater, behind the rest of our friends, sharing a giant tub of buttered popcorn and a Pepsi. In front of us, Kim sat huddled up next to John Wilder. Joe and Nick sat on either side of them, and Alan sat next to Nick, casting the occasional baleful look in Kim’s direction. Dave and his brother sat down on the front row. They said they were experimenting to see which seats were the best for viewing the forest chase scene. They’d all seen the movie twice before, once on opening night, and then again on the Sunday after we came back from the beach. Two weeks had gone by since then, and this was the first day that Abby had managed to coax me into leaving my house.
Hunter hadn’t yet been by to pick up the rest of his things. He and Jean had taken up residence in a trailer in the Stonybrook trailer park. My mother and Nana had driven by late one night to look at it. The lights were on and his van was parked out front, but they didn’t see anyone, and they certainly didn’t stop.
“It’s a nice park,” my mother said. “Lots of trees and landscaping. It’s better than he deserves.”
“Did you want him to live in a hovel?”
“Yes,” she said. “That’s where he belongs, he and that idiot blonde parakeet.”
When the credits rolled on Return of the Jedi, Abby asked me if I’d found a job for the summer yet. “Are you picking tobacco for that third cousin of yours again?”
“First cousin once removed, and the answer is no. I haven’t done that since I was fourteen, and I only did it for a week then. It was hot and it was gross.”
“Uh-uh,” she said. “Like working at the flea market is better. Why don’t you come with me and put in an application at the DMV? Mama says they’re hiring temps for the summer. The pay’s okay, and it’s nice and air-conditioned.”
“What would I do?”
“You’d do whatever. Filing, typing, opening boxes of license plates.”
“I wouldn’t be making the license plates?”
“Prisoners make the license plates, so unless you’re incarcerated, no.”
The credits ended and the lights went on. Joe Chang turned around in his seat and gave us the thumbs down. “Sappy ending. Gag me.”
“‘Your father was dead, in a manner of speaking,’” Nick said, his impersonation of Alec Guinness somewhat marred by his Polish accent. “Crappy. Totally unbelievable.”
“I liked it,” Kim said. “I thought it was sweet.”
John nodded in agreement, smiling stupidly at her.
Abby and I laughed. Alan gazed at them mournfully.
“If you think it’s stupid,” I asked Nick and Joe, “then why have you seen it three times?”
“Cool special effects,” Joe said.
“Really cool,” Nick agreed.
Before we went to the personnel office at the Division of Motor Vehicles, we stopped by the file room where Abby’s mother worked. We found her sitting in the ninth row of a room full of cabinets. Edna sat in what looked like an old elementary school desk. It was a small chair with a flat top attached to it. She had a long file drawer filled with index cards in front of her and rubber finger cots on the thumb and index finger of her right hand. She looked up without smiling.
“Hi, Mama,” Abby said. “We’re here to apply for temp jobs.”
“We?”
“Poppy gave me a ride. She needs a summer job, too.”
“I don’t know how many they’re hiring.”
“Could you show us where we need to go?”
Edna extracted herself from the small chair. She was an attractive woman, not especially tall, but muscular and well built, like Abby.
“Let me tell the boss lady where I’m going,” she said. “I’ll be right back.”
She entered an office a few rows away. There was a hushed conversation and someone said, “Sure. You can use your break time.” When she came back, she plucked the rubber finger cots off and laid them next to the file drawer.
Abby and her mother walked side by side down the hall with me bringing up the rear. The less attention I drew to myself, the better. Edna was a broad-shouldered woman, and her hair was short and no nonsense. I knew that she was younger than my own mother by several years. She’d had Abby when she was eighteen, which made her thirty-five or thirty-six. Other than that, I knew very little about her, except that she didn’t like white people, particularly me. She and Abby fought constantly, though it was clear that Abby loved her mother, or at least felt a strong sense of obligation to her.
“My mother works hard,” she said. “She never buys herself anything.”
“Don’t you wish she would?”
“All the time.”