Interpersonal Ethics

Analyzing ethical behavior between two individuals requires examining not only two sets of cognitions and perceptions, but also the unique interaction, the chemistry, between two people.41 Obviously, all factors at the individual level apply at this level also. At the interpersonal level of analysis, several factors affect ethical decision making that are distinct from those considered at the individual level: bonding, power, loyalty, enabling behaviors, mutual exchange, and communication. Compared to being locked into a role relationship by contract—for example, between an employer and employee—bonding implies a certain degree of affection and trust between two people. To like and trust someone means to enjoy that person’s company and to have confidence in his or her reliability and integrity. Unethical behavior erodes the trust and bonds that can develop between individuals.

Whenever two people are in a relationship, power exists; each person is able to influence the other. Power means influencing the behavior of another person in ways the affected person did not originally consider. To examine the ethical dimensions of a relationship means analyzing the ethical and unethical uses of power in that relationship. For example, coercion and brute force can be used to establish a relationship, though some would describe such a relationship as blatantly unethical because the freedom of one of the individuals has been restricted. Others would argue that there can be an ethical, unequal distribution of power in a relationship if the inequality can be justified. Examples of this would be restricting the rights of a prisoner in order to protect society, or taking the keys of a drunk friend and driving him/her home.

Sometimes the power of the dominant one in a relationship is based on expertise or seniority. At other times, the leader’s ability to influence is based on the “power of the lower participant.”42 The enabling behaviors of partners in a relationship can foster trust and bonding, or they can generate and support unhealthy, unethical interactions. For example, two colleagues can actively help each other behave responsibly, or tacitly they can agree not to discuss certain behaviors, thereby silently endorsing these actions, even though the actions may be unethical.

Why do people sometimes enable each other to engage in unethical acts? Theories suggest that couples avoid costly exchanges and seek rewarding relationships.43 If a person values the benefits of a relationship more than the cost of any one behavior by either partner, then undesirable or unethical actions may be overlooked, or even encouraged. The value a couple gives to its relationship and to each other is determined, in part, by the rewards and costs of maintaining the relationship. In some instances, the partners may be more loyal to their relationship than to the unique selves in the relationship.

Loyalty most often refers to being faithful to a formal role or being committed to meeting an official obligation. Accordingly, it will be discussed in greater detail at the organizational level of analysis—specifically, in superior-subordinate relationships within hierarchies. However, friends and colleagues also exhibit loyalty to each other, and these loyalties may be more powerful than other role expectations and commitments. Personal loyalties are often used to justify lying. We want to protect from harm the person to whom we are loyal; we want to help that person; we want to maintain confidential information we have shared with that person; we want to meet that person’s expectation of us—for example, to respect that person’s wish not to be told the truth.44 Not keeping confidences, not volunteering to help in time of need, and not avoiding public criticism of one another and the relationship are frequent causes of breakups in friendships.45

Healthy relationships between two individuals require honest, mutual exchanges and sharing of meanings; there must be good, ethical communication. Sadly, the more distressed the relationship, the more difficult it is for the partners to communicate and the more likely that negative, unethical behaviors will be reciprocated.46 Factors that cause stress in a couple’s relationship may be identified at the individual, small group, organizational, or societal levels of analysis.