I have a cigarette and go to sleep.

Here you go. We got an above-average bank robbery in the Bronx. That's good.

An exploding hand grenade in Hoboken.

What about something fun? Don't we have anything fun today?

- Nazis marching in New Jersey. - There you go.

Nazis are a barrel of laughs. Features.

We got Alison's profile of the teenage hit man.

We got Grace finally done with that Hollywood who's-banging-who chart...

and part three in our continuing saga on penile implants.

By the way, could we possibly get another dick drawing?

It looks like a map of Florida.

It also looks like, I think, the th at Shinnecock Country Club, doesn't it?

I would play over the water, by the way, as a suggestion.

All right. Business.

Dow's up. Trade figures came out at : . Nothing shocking.

But I'm telling you, I'm sitting on Watergate out there on Staten Island...

with the zoning commission thing.

If you guys could just give me a couple of city-side reporters--

Wait.

How is it possible that you always have Watergate somewhere?

Listen, I'm-- Piss off, Carl! I mean it this time.

I got a quote from the commission chairman's ex-wife...

- and she's plenty ready to talk. - His ex-wife?

His first ex-wife.

There's a reliable source.

Yeah. Foreign.

Terrorists blew up a restaurant in Paris, killing five. None from New York.

Ferry boat capsized in the Philippines, drowning . None from New York.

There was a violent coup in Bahrain.

None from New York!

Witnessed-- Witnessed by two people from Long Island.

- Oh, Henry, this might interest you. - What's that?

The mother whale in the Ukraine had triplets.

She told me she was on the pill!

Excuse me.

I get any on you?

Thanks for asking, Bernie.

All right. So, page one, subway sounds like our wood, right?

- We got great art. - I think it's definite.

I don't think so. I don't think so. You know, TV's gonna be all over it.

They already are. It's a minor derailment.

And Carmen has got great day two stuff on the Williamsburg murders.

If they make a bust, we have to follow up on that.

The subway's a major story.

- Nobody died. - Somebody got maimed.

- Yeah, that helps. - Minor derailment.

All I'm saying is people got maimed, and we have pictures of it.

Goddam it! So we fucked up yesterday!

Why do you want to tuck our tail between our legs and take it for...

and do what everybody else does?

Let's stand alone.

Let's make up for it.

We're a commuter paper. People want the subway.

Are you market research all of a sudden? Not everything is about money.