16-05-2021-043351Limitless-Jim -Kwik

I first met Will Smith at Quincy Jones’s 80th birthday party. After hearing about my traumatic brain injury, he invited me to be his guest at the premiere of the film Concussion, a movie about the concerns of football-related head trauma. (I’ll talk about brain protection in an upcoming chapter.) Eventually, Will booked me to come to Toronto to spend time with him for a week on set. He was shooting a superhero film, so you can imagine that I was in my glory.

What was interesting to me was the cast and crew were working each night, from 6 P.M. to 6 A.M., outside in the dead of winter. Not all Hollywood is glitz and glam; there’s a lot of hurrying up just to wait on set. During a break, Will and I discovered a few of his dominant questions, one of which is “How do I make this moment even more magical?” While we were waiting for Will’s next scene to shoot, his family and friends were huddled in tents watching the other actors work. At 3 A.M., while I’m sure everyone was cold and tired, we got to see his dominant question in action. He was bringing everyone hot cocoa, cracking jokes to make us smile, and actively playing host when he could have been resting. He was indeed making the moment even more magical. The result of this question directed his focus and his behavior, and completely changed the experience for everyone.

KWIK START

What is one dominant question you ask yourself? Write it down.

PREPARE YOUR MIND

Questions direct your focus, so they play into everything in life— even reading comprehension. Because people typically don’t ask enough questions when they read, they compromise their focus, understanding, and retention. If you prep your mind with the right kinds of questions before you read, you’ll see answers (pug dogs) everywhere. For that reason, I place specific key questions throughout the book.

To start you off, here are the three dominant questions to ask on our journey together. They will help you to take action on what you learn and turn the knowledge into power.

How can I use this?

Why must I use this?

When will I use this?

KWIK START

These are your three magic questions: How can I use this? Why must I use this? When will I use this? They will help you integrate the knowledge from this book into your head, heart, and hands. Ingrain them. Write these questions down where you can see them—on your desk or in your phone.

Instead of passively reading, consider these questions as you take in the knowledge in this book. Remember, questions are the answer. At the beginning of every chapter for the rest of the book, you will find a series of questions that are designed to prime your focus as you read. Study the questions before you read each chapter, and you’ll be better prepared to understand and remember what you learn.

Along with the questions, do the “Kwik Start” exercises seeded in strategic places throughout the book. They are specific activities designed to train you to take immediate action in your learning and life. Most of these can be done in one or two minutes. Remember the power of neuroplasticity: Every time you answer a question and do a new activity, you rewire your brain. I also conclude each chapter with exercises to do before you move on to the next section, to really set these lessons into practice.

PART II

THE WHAT

mindset mind·set (noun)

The deeply held beliefs, attitudes, and assumptions we create about who we are, how the world works, what we are capable of and deserve, and what is possible.

The first element of the three-part Limitless Model is Mindset, which is the mental attitude or disposition that predetermines a person’s responses to and interpretations of situations. Mindset is made up of beliefs, assumptions, and attitudes we hold about ourselves and the world around us. All behavior is driven by belief, so before we address how to learn, we must first address the underlying beliefs we hold about what is possible.

We’re not born with pre-installed mindsets about what we’re capable of achieving—we learn these fixed and limited ways of thinking from the people in our lives and the culture we experience growing up.

Think of a young elephant tied to a stake in the ground. When it’s a baby, the elephant isn’t strong enough to pull the stake up, so it eventually stops trying because it learns the effort is futile. As the elephant grows, it gains more than enough power and strength to pull out the stake, but it remains tied up by something as inconsequential as a rope and a flimsy piece of metal because of what it learned as a baby. In psychology, it’s called learned helplessness.

Most of us behave like that elephant. At some point, we had an experience that gave us an impression of what we’re capable of, and our belief about our potential has been set ever since. But just as helplessness is learned, it’s just as possible to learn to be limitless. In this section, you’re going to learn about the seven lies we’ve been taught about our potential and how to replace them with new beliefs.

I use the term LIE intentionally. In this case, LIE is an acronym for Limited Idea Entertained. If you are like the vast majority of people out there, you are entertaining ideas about yourself that define you as something less than what you truly have the potential to achieve. You’re giving these ideas energy and allowing them to take residence in your mind, but they’re really nothing but BS (in this case, an abbreviation for Belief Systems). Over the coming chapters, you will discover where these lies come from, how they imprison you, and what you can do about it. And keep asking yourself this question: How many of my perceived constraints are nothing more

than LIEs and BS? I think you’re going to be stunned with the answers, and that these answers are going to be liberating.

A quick story before we get going. One of the most cherished friendships of my life was the one I shared with Stan Lee. As you know, Stan’s Marvel creations helped me through some of the biggest challenges of my life when I was younger, and they continue to be a nonstop source of inspiration to this day. My conversations with Stan were always engaging and very often illuminating.

I remember one such conversation when we were in a car together on our way to a dinner. Stan looked resplendent in his suit with a bold Spiderman tie, and I was inspired to ask him something I’d always wanted to ask.

“Stan, you’ve created so many great characters over the years, like the Avengers and X-Men,” I said. “Who’s your favorite character?”

He didn’t even hesitate a second.

“Iron Man,” he said. “And who’s yours?”

I pointed to his tie. “That would be Spiderman.”

Stan nodded and said, “With great power comes great responsibility.”

“That’s so true, Stan. And the opposite is also true: with great responsibility comes great power.”

He seemed to like that, which tickled me to no end. But while I’d never phrased it that way before, I realized that I was voicing one of the key tenets of the limitless mindset. When we take responsibility for something, we are imbued with great power to make things better.

That’s what a limitless mindset is all about. Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we must be accountable for who we become. It’s about understanding that we are responsible for our assumptions and attitudes. And when you accept that all of your potential is entirely within your control, then the power of that potential grows dramatically.

So, superhero, let’s get started on unlimiting your mindset. As Stan would say, “Excelsior!”

5

Why do your beliefs have such an effect on your life? Why do limiting beliefs keep you from your goals?

How do you reject limiting beliefs?

Grab some imaginary popcorn, because we’re going to take a quick side trip to the movies. The scene goes like this:

A bridge is about to collapse because a supervillain has weakened the supports to the point where the entire thing is going to go crumbling into the river. As the bridge creaks and teeters, our superhero learns about the crisis and races to the scene. She’s the only person with the strength to avert catastrophe and save hundreds of lives.

Our superhero is less than 10 seconds from the bridge now. But as she gets closer, a voice in her head reminds her of the time she face-planted while doing a somersault in elementary school. A couple of seconds later, she recalls her father telling her that it would be best if she set her sights low for her future. With the bridge in sight, another vision emerges in front of her: her former best friend ridiculing her for her delusions of grandeur.

Rubble from the bridge topples into the water. The creaking gets louder. The screams of dozens and dozens fill the air.

And our superhero, overwhelmed with doubt, sits down by the side of the road, covers her face with her hands, and drowns in self-pity.